Does anyone else feel like they’ve lost a whole way of life since covid

[Barewithmenow]

It feels like my kids have grown so much under my nose and have missed out on so many rites of passage. So many people I have lost touch with because my life has changed. So many things I just can’t be bothered with any more which I used to do pre covid (granted this is within my control but so much of it seems utterly pointless). So much else but does anyone else feel like they’ve lost so much since the pandemic that frankly won’t return. It feels like 2019 was a way of life we totally took for granted, it feels like covid has fundamentally changed the way most people live their lives. Does anyone else feel like this?

I think it doesn't help that its been one bad thing after another. No bounce back, no 'roaring 20's' that people used to predict.
The cost of living crisis and I'm extremely worried about the climate crisis too.

I also have horrible association with WFH whilst home schooling and feeling terrible guilt about that. Also struggled not to feel resentment towards the people who loved lockdown and were insensitive enough to post that all over fb.

Its hard to let go.

I think it doesn't help that its been one bad thing after another. No bounce back, no 'roaring 20's' that people used to predict.
The cost of living crisis and I'm extremely worried about the climate crisis too.

I also have horrible association with WFH whilst home schooling and feeling terrible guilt about that. Also struggled not to feel resentment towards the people who loved lockdown and were insensitive enough to post that all over fb.

Its hard to let go.

No, life is very busy again, plus there are some major long term benefits: more WFH and less presentee-ism. BUT I recognise who much it sucked for certain groups. Feel very sorry for teenagers and students who missed whole life stages.

I work in social care - things have changed drastically and with continuing cuts and restrictions things are continuing to be difficult. I was happy to work in a low pay sector because of the advantages that I received that were non-financial, I was happier believing that intrinsically I lived in a country that took responsibilities towards vulnerable people seriously. I am struggling to believe this anymore, and I am thinking of looking for low stress admin work that pays more. I cannot even imagine what it has been like for NHS frontline staff.

I feel the grief of how my children lost two years of visiting relatives abroad and fun things to do and that my young child’s eduction was so patchy in the crucial years. I know it’s not the end of the world but it’s scary how I refused my children to go out of isolation because I wanted to “follow the rules” just because they sat in the same room with someone who got tested positive. It seems not to matter now that much

My life is back to normal and has been for a while.
The main loss is that there are a few people who I'd normally socialise with who have become very anxious and so, though I care about and worry about them, I now rarely if ever, see them.
I felt like the mental weight of the whole shit show properly lifted when we went on holiday abroad this Easter (US). We were lucky to afford it I know, but there really was an immense sense of freedom

I agree with PP that going from covid to the threat of global war and a cost of living crisis has absolutely snatched away many people’s last reserves of hope and energy.

On paper the pandemic was good for me. DH worked at home throughout and saw his/our income grow. I was self-employed, work dwindled to nothing and I could spend time with 2yo DD. By the time she came out of lockdown she was well ahead of her years on various skills because we had the time with her. I started a small mutual aid project for the neighbourhood and now it has turned into a charity that does amazing work, which employs me.

But - every routine and friendship and “normal” vanished overnight. My daughter used to ask me again and again when her little friend was coming round (as he’d done every week since she could remember) - I used to say he was on holiday, to stop her asking, because I didn’t want her to become afraid of covid. I am an awful parent without a village/infrastructure around me. I went through a fairly traumatic miscarriage during the first lockdown that is still on my mind daily (even though I have since had a pregnancy to term) - just never got to process it. My abiding memory of that time is going for a socially distanced walk with a friend around that time and bursting into tears on her, and she just grabbed me and hugged me - I remember how taboo it felt to touch another person. My marriage went to hell. I know two people still living with long covid and really really suffering. And so on. And I absolutely rage at the lowered service standards etc. Just because it was acceptable to stay on hold to my bank for 40 minutes in April 2020 doesn’t make it acceptable now.

I do feel I would not follow any future rules if it was detrimental to me. Following the rules at work, such as no car sharing left me financially worse off. Especially as I worked throughout the pandemic and received no pay rise for it. I feel my boss screwed us over so I wouldn't make that mistake again. Promised hybrid working-never happened.

I had significant mental health challenges in the first lockdown that haven't gone away. I know services are overstretched, but what I really can't forgive is the number of people who turned on me because of it.

Including my husband, who when I told him I had been having suicidal thoughts, said "hold that thought, I just need to go and brush my teeth". Came back and never mentioned it again. And called me abusive for being upset a lot of the time and wanting to talk about it. Apparently interrupting his sleep because I need some reassurance and help is abusive

I'm trying to trust him again but I don't know how. I wake up probably half the time thinking that my family would be better without me. I have some support, so it's bearable, but I just exist.

I see my friends less. They want to go out less. I need a new circle of friends as my old ones will never return to how they was. It's like they aged 20 years in lockdown.

My eldest ds has missed out on lot. He was in his gcse year

Yes I totally get what you mean. My kids seemed to miss the last couple of years of being little kids. The out grew playparks and trampoline centres and other things which are aimed at primary age kids. They missed out on the last couple of years of them and now are sad they can’t do them any more. Also they missed seeing their cousins who live too far away. And now are teens themselves an d they missed the last chances to really play together. Those years can’t be recreated unfortunately

Honestly no, life is just as it was pre 2020. We were lucky our kids were year 1 and 4 though when it kicked off so they didn't miss anything, eldest started high school this year but thankfully all the Covid stuff stopped before all the year 6 stuff.

He passed stage 7 swimming recently and I remember thinking that was the last thing impacted by Covid, that he was delayed due to the pause. But now Covid is just a very distant memory.

Everything is completely back to normal for me. I didn't work in an office before covid so work hasn't changed and socialising is back to normal.

Yes! I've lost my sense of adventure. We used to wrap up for all weathers and spend the weekends out adventuring and walking for hours and hours.

We used to go away a lot (again, for adventures)

Since Covid - I struggle being away from home. I also have constant brain farts about what to do at the weekends. We dither and only seem to go out for an hour at a time.

We're less inclined to do anything!

It's so weird!

Yes it has changed.

And most people on this thread seem to acknowledge some change has happened whether they see it through the prism of a benefit or not is purely personal.

I feel dc and I have lost some golden time - but now feel I have to say yes to everything to make up for it, leading to exhaustion.

I definitely live more for now - as we don't know about tomorrow. But that same uncertainty is uncomfortable to live with. I want to know there are no more bolts out of the blue coming, but no one can say that or know that.

Some friends were lost. Most remained and I am closer in some ways, but actually organising stuff has become much more difficult than it used to be. I don't know why.

Even though more or less everything is back to normal on the surface at least, more or less - I don't feel like my life has the same order that it used to. Some things are not working properly, have not returned, everything feels 'harder'.
But we are getting there.

I have covid now, and realise it has not gone...not by a long shot and I am so ill again and can't believe it is still here in some ways. I just wish it hadn't happened, but wonder what the greater message will be. We need to slow down collectively?

I dont think the pub atmosphere has been the same for years ,i only go out rarely now ,but when i used to go out pre dh/ kids ,pubs were packed from around at weekends ,this has been declining for a long time ,some people feel the smoking ban had a part to play ,also the internet etc so many people use on line dating ,its changrd rhe way people meet life partners.

Agreed.

Covid reminded me of a petulant child tossing the puzzle in the air and all the pieces landing in different places, and since then we have been scurrying around gradually putting all the pieces back together of our lives.
And for some there will always be missing pieces that will never be found. To live with this imperfect puzzle.
For others they will make no effort to put the puzzle back together for their own reasons, others will find they don't like puzzle any more and walk away some will find the full picture of the puzzle is now beautiful to them. It has fundamentally changed every single person on the planet.

I’m ok and appreciate the move to wfh which I can see has positively impacted so many around me. My sector was very bad for presenteeism too which was bad for women.

I disagree with some of what happened but mentally I’m good and life feels good. I want the war to end though as that is driving costs up which is another crisis dominating media. Plus war ending for Ukraine obviously

I definitely live more for now - as we don't know about tomorrow. But that same uncertainty is uncomfortable to live with. I want to know there are no more bolts out of the blue coming, but no one can say that or know that.

I do relate to this, it's certainly made me realise how fragile society is. Since 2016 we've seen so many things demonstrate this from Brexit through to the US abortion law change. I certainly don't feel as secure as I once did, that said, it doesn't command my every thought and what I do is very much the same as 2019, perhaps slightly more cautious that something could go wrong, expectations a little more managed!

I got through lock downs etc fine.

But now I’m just depressed and I can’t imagine ever finding joy in stuff again. I see it so much all around me - unhappy people, especially young people and teenagers.

My job meant I worked all through lockdowns remotely and am now back to being away from home for half of every week.

My life isn't that different. We socialise. My 5yo is now 8 and a happy sociable little thing. Maybe we have been lucky.

Nationally, I think there has been a change of culture. People insisting on WFH when it's better for the team/business to have everyone in is very frustrating. All this isolation especially for younger people is not healthy IMO. Humans are social creatures and we need to see people in the flesh to read their body language cues.

I know not everyone agrees.

I don't feel I've lost it. That may be because me and mine opted out of the restrictions quite early on, and if anything the relationships with family and close friends, people who were 'in the circle' during that time, are closer.

However, I'm very keenly aware of the things that were denied to my children, in particular. I do not forgive or forget that millions of children were considered worthy of education and socialisation in the second lockdown, but mine were unworthy.

I do also have a couple of older extended family members whose ageing it hastened. Who got very, very into staying in the house and won't recover the independence and desire to be out and about.

Hi OP if everything feels pointless and you don't have the motivation to do anything, do you think you could be depressed?

My life has gone back to normal. Its maybe a bit busier because now I try and organise more to make up for lost time. I like wfh as well although find I work more hours.

Yes, I'm a natural introvert but pushed through it pre-Covid and was very sociable. Now I'm just introverted and social life has taken a beating. I cant bring myself to organise anything and rely on people to get me out. Quite sad really.