Does anyone else feel like they’ve lost a whole way of life since covid

[Barewithmenow]

It feels like my kids have grown so much under my nose and have missed out on so many rites of passage. So many people I have lost touch with because my life has changed. So many things I just can’t be bothered with any more which I used to do pre covid (granted this is within my control but so much of it seems utterly pointless). So much else but does anyone else feel like they’ve lost so much since the pandemic that frankly won’t return. It feels like 2019 was a way of life we totally took for granted, it feels like covid has fundamentally changed the way most people live their lives. Does anyone else feel like this?

My life is completely unrecognisable from how it was pre pandemic.

In March 2020 I was working outside of the home, I left the house every day and was a healthy weight. I socialised.

First I was furloughed then made redundant and have been WFH for the past 2 years. I go days now without leaving the house and am 3 stone overweight. I don't really want to see people other than family anymore, I'm happiest at home. My life was fuller before but I wouldn't want to go back to it, I think I've been institutionalised by lockdowns and WFH and it feels safe.

Add to this the other things that have changed such as DD starting secondary and getting an autism dx, and us buying our first house - absolutely nothing is how it was in March 2020.

I think there is a marked difference here between people who were furloughed or WFH without primary age or younger children and those who were frontline or were trying to work from home with small children.

from my point of view, trying to do a frontline job, from home over the phone (impossible) dealing with people in acute need whilst trying to entertain a 2 year old and a 3 year old on my own because DH was working 7 days a week out of the house during the first lockdown.

it broke me and I'm not sure I will recover, mine and DHs relationship is in tatters because I can't forgive him for not picking up some of the childcare during that time. I can't see how my children weren't damaged by having a parent who woke up every day crying and spent all day shushing them and shutting them in another room so she could make phone calls to very unwell people at the expense of her own children.

even typing about it gives me a lump in my throat and a panicked feeling.

I'm damaged, and I struggle to socialise with people now because there is a rage in me that wants to have a full on screaming breakdown in a public place and tell everyone how absolutely shit it still is in public services and how broken it all is.

For some of us we can never go back to normal, it feels. And it's fucking sad.

Life hasn’t changed much apart from I haven’t been on a plane since and prob won’t bother for a few years yet. NHS frontline but not dealing with Covid so my job didn’t change one bit during lockdown. It’s just a bit busier now. I go on more walks with friends when we want to catch up rather than cafes more so that’s nice. Other than that it’s all the same.

My husband and I are 63 and 57 respectively. Worked for ourselves for 30 years. Had a good business employing 20+ staff. Worked right through COVID supplying key businesses. Exit plans are screwed, supply chain is screwed, tax is punishing. We’ll be working until we’re 70. My husband has worked full time since he was 16. So yes our whole retirement is buggered. And I know lots of others in the same boat.

Huh??!

It wasn't COVID, it was lockdown.

No. The only thing that has changed is that I work from home which benefits me. I do as many things as pre Covid. If not more last year, to make up for some stuff missed.

God no. My life is miles better than before, Covid was great for me. Hybrid working, so many commuting hours back, new hobbies, new friends, a new attitude....all about carpe diem.
I don't know why people are so obsessed with the downsides and don't talk about the good.

Same position as you, had first baby late 2019 and feel exactly the same as you

Because for many people there wasn't a single bit of good in it.

My children have gone from 6/9 when it started to 9/12 and I suspect that that natural progression has been disrupted.

This time 3 years ago DS1 got his ASD diagnosis so spent winter 19/20 adjusting to that before being plunged into lockdown. Summer/ autumn 2020, I put a lot of effort into keeping going. If it was open/ viable we did it. The deeper damage was done with the uncertainty of the tiers in Autumn 2020 and the schools closing in January 2021 snapped something in me. I'd already failed at home learning for 4 months and had to do it all over again. Educational specialists for both DS1 and DS2 have confirmed that it was not in the least surprising that it was a hiding to nothing.

I spent much of 2021 in an inert state of depression, and my life didn't have much its proper shape and structure back until September 2021. Until that point it was fragments that had been turned on and off repeatedly or significantly distorted.

There's been so many frustrating curveballs in the past year. Some, literally Covid (which wrote off last Christmas), some other entirely seperate health issues, 4 bereavements including 3 family, one of which was an untimely shocker. I still struggle to make plans and anticipate events because I no longer believe they will happen in the face of so, so many last minute disappointments.

So many people I know are just ground down in survival mode for so many reasons, and no one has the spark left to rekindle the flame.

I now hate school holidays because it takes me back to lockdown and having to chivvy the family along on an empty tank. We now hate parks because that's all we were allowed for so long; to some extent it is probably my children growing up but there is that association there too. I was stuck in a rut for so long and it's hard finding the creativity to get out of it. There will be things that we used to do that we've just forgotten about because of Covid restriction logistics. DS and I have also been hindered by overuse injuries ironically triggered by Covid restrictions and their disruption to consistant participation in sport.

My children have grown up as they would anyway but I suddenly find myself thinking that I don't really know what to do about things like Christmas because it's been a 3 year jump since we've been able to have a normal one. That's ⅓ and ¼ of my children's lives!
This time last year was still very far from normal even though there were few legal restrictions; organisations were just very reluctant to attempt business as usual.

I've also become more insular. Going through so long being denied company beyond my household for most of a year, and having family and friends retreat more than was necessary for so long has fractured relationships. I don't have much interesting social chatter anymore anyway, 2022 can be summed up by the words illness and death to the point where it's farcial. I've been to A&E more than I've visited family!

I hope I can find myself again. I miss me.
I used to be a glass half full person but it feels like the glass is cracked and I can't keep it half full.

I don't know why people are so obsessed with the downsides and don't talk about the good

For some people there was no “good”

@exwhyzed I see you. In the 1st lockdown I was redeployed to covid ICU and that nearly broke me. Have not been the same since. Then after that trying to do my job over the phone for months on end and knowing I must be missing stuff, much of it of a safeguarding nature, strung out the nightmare even more.

Having to stay off social media so the “furloughed Prosecco in the sunny garden, making memories” brigade didn’t make me lose my mind even more.

Losing the usual activities that normally kept me going physically and mentally. Knowing they were still there but not open to me.

so yeah, I can’t see too many of the “positives”

Absolutely.

The government comandeering our lives with as little as 12 hours notice at times.

And I've heard plenty about that. But I also know it was good for lots of people and I never hear that being talked about.

Some people had a really terrible time and I feel for thim. But some didn't at all and still complain endlessly about it.

My life is different now! I work from home mainly and my friendships feel different.

The pandemic taught me that my immediate family are the most important thing in my life. I’m less career driven now and not so bothered about socialising.

I don’t feel like I’ve missed out. I did but now I feel like the break from societal norms actually brought to light a lot of issues for me that I had managed to distract myself from. I feel like a mentally stronger, happier person now with more clarity on what’s really important in life.

Yeah bastards. Trying to keep you alive and safe and your help system from collapsing. What were they thinking?

Yes-actually I think you've articulated extremely well a "feeling" I've struggled to shake off.

I wilfully avoid places I now find overwhelmingly busy that I'd never have been phased by prior to 2020.

Other than a very small circle of friends and immediate family I'm waaay less sociable-almost no energy left to consider going "out out" as it were.

I was never a "let's go for a walk" type but now it's very fixed routine things we leave the house for mostly. All other engagements are few and far between and it's inexplicably a relief to me tbh.

I do worry for our children in terms of what they've "missed" in some cases but maybe not others who benefited from lockdown hugely.

I actively avoid leaving my "bubble" for the large part, but couldn't properly convey fully why.

I'm in no doubt the world and all of us in it changed considerably post covid .

Why? I feel the exact opposite

@exwhyzed I'm on your page. DC yr6. Child with SEN. Not on ECHP at time. We both working full time from home. Lockdown was sheer hell.

@Feetache I think for many of us life has remained a diluted form of lockdown for a variety of reasons.

It was miserable. Sad, depressing and stressful. Not to mention frightening and sad.

One friend killed herself because she couldn't access mental health service, two friends lost their children ( covid wasn't directly responsible but seeing their dying children and the funerals definitely were), one friend's teenager tried to kill himself due to lack of human contact, a friend's husband died from covid and my husband has long term heart failure due to covid.

I worked throughout and it was like a horror film blur.

I still feel traumatised.

Exactly.

Absolutely this.

.

I was furloughed - contrary to popular opinion it was not a walk in the park. For the first few months I was worried sick I would lose my job, constantly checking the news, my emails, work forums etc
Having been told my job was safe, my contract, terms and conditions and salary were then ripped to shreds. What followed was a nasty battle to claw back as much as possible. Many colleagues developed mental health issues, some took their own lives.
My life is nothing like it was before and I am still angry and resentful about that. Arguably it was not down to Covid, but a global pandemic very conveniently fell into my employers hands.