Does anyone else feel like they’ve lost a whole way of life since covid

[Barewithmenow]

It feels like my kids have grown so much under my nose and have missed out on so many rites of passage. So many people I have lost touch with because my life has changed. So many things I just can’t be bothered with any more which I used to do pre covid (granted this is within my control but so much of it seems utterly pointless). So much else but does anyone else feel like they’ve lost so much since the pandemic that frankly won’t return. It feels like 2019 was a way of life we totally took for granted, it feels like covid has fundamentally changed the way most people live their lives. Does anyone else feel like this?

I was the opposite.. loved staying in as a SAHM before, bit of a hermit.. but it gave me a thirst for life and to live it. Still love my home time but love being out and about having experiences and interacting with people.
I am a support worker so I'm all over the place around the general public.. 95% of people are lovely.

Yes , the pandemic for many reasons has left me with permanent anxiety , extremely poor sleep and horrible psoriasis because of how stressed and tired i am .

I am a mental health nurse so know about ways of helping my wellbeing but to be honest I just feel quite broken from it all .

It’s more the economy for me
not the pandemic
I couldn’t wait to get out there and for it to end, I got covid three times so far but I also had a baby did a masters and got a new career and I feel like the shitty economic situation is holding me back in life far more than the actual existence of covid did

@The2Omicronnies >... 'My life has mostly returned to normal, but it feels like it could all be snatched away again at the drop of a hat. ...'

This is how I feel. Pre covid-19; as someone born in the 60s, I would never have believed that the social freedoms I was used to could be snatched away immediately without any challenge in a court, unless we were, say, at war. Once the legal precedent is laid down anything can happen. One week you're going about your business as normal, the next week you're only allowed out of your home for an hour a day. It still feels that if we have a big spike in a covid varient in winter (or maybe even flu) the legislation is now there to severely curtail our lives. It's how the prevailing government uses that, that matters.

Life is better and busier now than pre-covid, but we are nearing the point where we will have to make noticeable and painful finacial cut backs if prices continue to rise, which will undo that (I appreciate we've been lucky we could absorb most price rises until now or just trim a bit of unnoticeable fat).
We are busier than ever, as we have emerged from covid in a new life stage; our DCs went from preschoolers to primary-aged during the pandemic. We took every opportunity to restart their clubs/activities/play dates etc as soon as they were allowed, and have added to what they did. It felt very weird at first and out of my comfort zone, but the more you push back to normality, the easier it continues to flow. The DCs have more parties and other social activities on now they're older with proper friendship groups, and with that has come the opportunity for me to make new parent friends. With both DCs now at school and generally much more independent, I have increased my work hours, both DH and I have taken on new volunteering roles, I have started a new hobby twice a week, and DH has been able to increase his gym visits (his hobby). The only thing that is 'less' now is seeing my pre-DC friends, as they have also had the same shift in life stage and are similarly busy running between work and after school activities. Before covid we were all working part-time and were able to meet up for park visits etc regularly. This time is made up for (in hours) with new friends, so I don't feel I'm missing out on too much social stuff even if those friendships aren't on the same level/depth yet.

I can see how people are still locked in a covid mentality though, and know a few people who, despite wishing it could be the same, are struggling to return to their previous lives. There are no financial or similar reasons why it couldn't happen, but unpicking their health anxiety is a really slow process that is nowhere near complete.

I think that for a lot of families (and I include involved grandparents etc) who had children who needed extra input because of SEN/medical needs it was very tough and difficult to recover from. My youngest GC has only just got hearing aids, it's taken eighteen months longer than it should have done and delayed medical/service appointments has had ongoing negative consequences for both my GC. I also have friends whose children I'm very close to who haven't caught up on the regression that lockdown caused. Many people have vulnerable teens/family members and are now supporting poor mental health etc.
The pub atmosphere has never come back. People got used to drinking at home. We do ourselves and watch more television. We've watched a few old crime series on iPlayer and ITV hub. It's interesting watching people phone ambulances and get GP appointments.

I feel exactly the same. I am.pleased for those of you who feel life is better,but for me it isn't. I live alone,even when in a relationship, and have always loved it. The separation from my partner and friends due to locjmkdiwn was immense. I have never felt do lonely in my whole life. It was hell. I spoke to my partner and friends every day but it was absolute torture. I was fortunate to be able to work from home,for which I am grateful re the safety point of view,but this too was isolating. To go from tight restrictions to no restrictions baffles me
I used to be so out going,up for a laugh and adventure- not now. All my friends will test before we meet as I am so frightened of getting Covid. I don't know how to find the me. One friend said I've lost my joy. Couple this with the suicide of my partner and the reluctance to do anything for me,life feels pretty grim . So,yes I totally get what you are saying. Take care

If someone offered me the chance to repeat 2020-22 without the pandemic, I'd do that in a heartbeat. I'd do anything to go back and give DD2 a normal Y6, school journey, school production, end of term party, and proper transition to secondary school, and have the first couple of years of life at secondary school without masks, additional rules, and missing all the fun and enrichment
of school life. I'd do anything to spare DD1 becoming so depressed that she was self-harming in January 2021. I wish her GCSE years had been normal instead of repressive and frightening.

A lot of people would give anything to have deceased loved ones back with them or have been able to be with them when they died.

Yep, agree with that. Nothing has changed for me and the kids ( mid late teens ) are fine.

What rites of passage did they miss, in 18 months? 1.5 years is little ok the grand scheme of life. I find this whole depressing view irritating. Yes it's changed a bit. Get on with it! If your life has changed: get back in touch with those people if you choose. That's your choice, who are you blaming for this? The blame game doesn't quite tally. If you've chosen to be more at home, more non sociable, then at least own that choice, rather than blaming anyone else for your choices.

I still struggle to make plans and anticipate events because I no longer believe they will happen in the face of so, so many last minute disappointments

Yes, this. I found the restriction far more frightening and oppressive than the potential illness. There should be absolutely never any circumstances in future where natural human social behaviour is made illegal.

That is anxiety. Seems a shame to live the rest of your life not enjoying and worrying if something might get cancelled. Yes it might get cancelled. For innumerable reasons. But to live like that just seems so negative and such a waste. See your Gp for help with anxiety? I never lived my life with that view before, and I'm not prepared to now, or in the future either.

I mean, my life now is very different to pre pandemic but it probably would have been anyway because my child is now at school and we are in a different 'life phase' if you like. I had only been back at work 6 months after Mat leave then it all kicked off!

I got made redundant during the pandemic but it was still largely positive for us, I know we were lucky!

Socially my life is the new normal with a young child anyway I guess. I now work 100% remotely which wouldn't have been an option pre pandemic and it means I can do school drop off and pick up every single day - I wouldn't have dreamt that was possible.

Yeah, the lockdown period has pretty much destroyed my relationship with DD and try as I might, I cannot bring it back to how it was.

it’s not her fault. She got ill. She’s still ill. It might have happened anyway, but I don’t think so. I think being locked down and isolated from ‘normal’ teen stuff meant that the signs were missed and her illness progressed too far too easily. Now we are trying to bring it round (and have been for 2 years) but whilst she is getting better slowly I’ve lost my mojo and my compassion. I’m frustrated with her, short tempered and kinda bored with it all. And that’s an awful way to be. I love her so much, but I’m just so bloody tired.

I almost feel like we are still locked down, only in our heads rather than physically. We lost so much of our fun, the things we did that were part of our relationship and there is no going back now.

I worked the pandemic but due to not being able to socialise in my free time (and not wanting to get on public transport) I started cycling to work, turned a room in my house into a gym, lost three stone and got ridiculously fit. I now spend almost all of my free time up mountains and on bikes instead of shopping or in bars. I’m more content in many ways, but it does feel like the end of an era.

I teach primary and my class of 11 year olds are very different to my pre-covid classes of the same age. More addicted to tech, socialise online an awful lot, do less clubs and sport, and don’t read or draw or craft like previous year groups. They are more needy for adult attention, seek a lot of reassurance for simple tasks and don’t seem to want any independence from me. I hear from colleagues in secondary that they are having real difficulties with mental health and behaviour of their year 7/8 pupils - they are attributing it to covid.

I feel upset and angry, how gov handled the pandemic, the effect on children & the elderly, shut down the economy, lockdowns and now the day of reckoning has come.

I feel like I missed bits of my childrens lasts that seem insignificant to others (and to me a lot of the time) but we missed them.
You know on holiday, the kids get up and do the "hotel dance" at the mini disco. Mine are too old for mini discos now. My youngest doesn't believe anymore (10) and I missed the last lot of grottos when she still did.
I told you they were insignificant but I still feel a bit sad.
Other than that life feels quite frantic and busy again so feels the same as pre pandemic.

Yes exactly this.

DH’s entire industry was completely hammered over covid, now it’s being hammered by continued knock on effects, energy bills and cost of living. I have spent every day since Feb 2020 with a knot in my stomach. He is by far the higher earner and has only worked in that industry, we will be completely buggered if he loses his job.

On paper we are very lucky. He still has his job, we have money, we live a good life - house renovations, plenty of eating out, expensive holidays…. But I simply cannot relax and enjoy it. I think several people have commented saying it feels like things could get snatched away again at any point and that’s exactly how it feels for me.

Not for me or mine….we’ve all just gone back to how we were pre pandemic.

I don't feel a lost way of life, just a very different one. Paying with cash a rarity, working from home most of the week, for example. Good for me in the main but I know not for everyone.

I put on 3 stone despite my best efforts (I genuinely exercise so much) and this is now affecting my desire to socialise. I gave up alcohol because I only used to drink when I went out, and this has radically changed me. I took up a sporting hobby which has been wonderful and fulfilling. But I have had a bit of an existential crisis because I am so different to who I was pre-covid, I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. It hasn’t been awful, I am not unhappy but I am very confused. My DD has changed so much too. She had an ASD diagnosis in June, but since going to secondary school during the pandemic she is now very anxious, phobic and chronically shy. Not sure if it would have happened without the lockdown and it is her age and condition, but her mental health is a constant worry. Working from home has had huge positives for me, but I love my work far less than I used to. Mostly I feel I have aged.

Because I guess some of us were damaged by actual covid itself, not just the lockdowns.

I feel as though the war in Ukraine and the resulting cost of living crisis might be responsible for a lot, though. As a nation we would have been enjoying ourselves and rebuilding things much more enthusiastically if that had not have happened.

My kids actually seem pretty unscathed by it all. My friends who need to out and about and busy struggled much more. My job went from office based to wfh with a decent payrise to help cost of living, we moved house to accommodate my wfh which was well needed.
Personally we've have good changes here but I do feel different, much more of a hermit than previously. Don't like being away from home, it's my safe space. I can be at home for weeks straight without talking to anyone outside my family and I don't think that's normal.

Not at all, no. The things I valued and wanted to do pre pandemic I have picked straight back up again.
It's given me "permission" to avoid things I disliked before the pandemic like crowded events and busy clubs but that's a good thing.
I get that some people can't afford things now so that impacts them but in other ways a lot of this thread sounds like people are choosing so stay in and not do things, which is fine if that's what you want but own it... we can't blame Covid forever.