To not want to meet this guest?

[Avisit]

I very possibly am.

guest staying with us over Christmas so working out logistics - we live outside of UK in a tourist city.

we don’t have a car - nobody does here so the options from the airport are cab or train. Guest feels cab is too expensive and they only want to take the train if I come and meet them at the airport but they don’t want to switch their data on so that makes meeting tricky, plus I will be 7.5 months pregnant by then.

It’s an English speaking country that they have visited (including this city) before. Guest is not elderly and we are paying for most things whilst they are here.

Shall I just pay for their cab given they have paid for their flights to visit or would you expect a guest of navigate their way to our house (every other guest ever has done this)

I actually would meet her (unless particularly struggling). In my pregnancies it would have been no problem but I know high risk/illness/disability factors could make it tricky.
I kind of see it as part of hosting, particularly when someone has gone to massive effort or/and expense to visit.

Except the guest is being put up, for free, in a tourist area and OP said OP will be paying for most things. They're getting a free holiday with free accommodation. OP is hosting them, the least they can do is get to the house themselves.

Regardless at 7.5 months pregnant she shouldn't even be considering hosting.

She shouldn't travel alone internationally then if she can't get on a train with a bag?!

The "massive effort and expense" of this holiday is being born by the 7.5 month pregnant OP. New York hotel prices are ruinous and the cousin is having free accommodation at Christmas. The least the guest could do is get herself across the city by one of many transport options. I stayed with relatives in the burbs when visiting NYC which made for long journeys in and out. But it was only on a later trip when we booked rooms in Manhattan that I realised how generous the offer of accommodation from family, had been. Provide directions and leave her to it OP.

Just come back from a month travelling in the states. Get her to buy one of these then data won’t be an issue…www.usapayasyougosimcard.co.uk/

Surely an adult that have travelled by air can manage catching a train on their own.

Are they genuinely too hard up to pay for a taxi?

A friend of ours who is certainly not hard up (I do know this) will never just get a cab when arriving on an early morning flight, which usually means someone leaving the house at e.g. 6 am to meet her. Dh will invariably offer but she never says, ‘No, honestly - I’ll get a cab,’ - which is what I’d certainly say in her place. Needless to say, she has form for being tight.

They can pay for their own cab if they don’t want to take the train. Given that it’s a fixed fare from JFK, they won’t be getting ripped off and it’s cheaper than getting a cab from Heathrow to London.

You didn’t specify rail, you said there was no public transport. The SkyBus runs express to Southern Cross Station so I don’t really see why the service is any worse tbh. I’ve caught the SkyBus many times.

Yeah I do see that the guest is getting a good deal. I think for me it’d depend a bit on the motivation for the trip- if it’s a well travelled person who wants to see NYC I’d perhaps let them sort themselves out and think they were trying it on a bit. Whereas if it was mainly about spending time together and the person is making the effort despite being a nervous traveller I’d meet them. Just thinking of my own cousins and the relationships/dynamics I think I’d meet them but I know every family is different.

Why don’t uup tell her that at 7.5 months pregnant you don’t want to make the journey and come to an agreement and maybe split the cost of the taxi?
when my MIL visits her flights always arrive at. 1am in the morning (she picks rbis one as it is cheaper!) I used to axles to the airport (an hour away) and the. Pay a fortune in parking to pick her up. Now we just book a taxi and pay it for her. However this is because when we visit her (I always pay extra for the flights that arrive at a reasonable time) she picks us up.
so unless your cousin does similar foe you, putting herself out to accommodate you when you visit her I would stick to my guns and not go.

This. I would also address the data thing now. Have they bought a map/guidebook? How will theg communicate with you while there? Is public wifi very widespread?

The fact you are pregnant is a deal breaker for me.
Why are you even hosting at this point? You are only going to get more tired and more uncomfortable.
Anyway it seems they are coming. If the person was elderly or my parent then I may offer to send dh to meet them instead or 50/50 on the cab - but if they are neither there is no way on earth I would do anything more than I have already. I would provide train details carefully written out, and help them book the ticket.

If they can't manage to follow instructions on a train, then they shouldn't be travelling at all!

I hosted Christmas at around the same time pregnancy wise, and it was truly exhausting and I cried on Boxing day. Don't underestimate just how tiring it is. You won't want to stay up late, you can't drink, shuffling around with a big tummy is not fun - and I wanted to put my PJs on at 4pm and go to sleep!

OP out of interest how far is your house from the airport?

Do not collect her OP.

I last visited pre-Covid but I don’t remember the cab fare being overly bad. Certainly not in the realm of what the hotel would have cost for even one night. She’s getting a good deal so just give her your address and let her make her own way to you!

I have done something similar and my friend, did a list of the exact train I needed to get, what platform and what ticket to get.

Could you do something like that?

I agree that she sounds like a wimp! I am 71 and wouldn’t have any qualms about flying into JFK alone and getting a cab somewhere (not done it before) and I’m not even used to a big city like London since I live in a small village

Goodness, JFK is one of the easier airports to travel to & from. Lots of options, including pre-booked ones.

Edinburgh doesn’t have a rail link either

but there are regular express buses.

why is a train essential? As long as there is easily accessible public transport, that’s all that matters

I myself find airport bus transfers easier than rail. With rail you have to deal with the station and platforms, and walking on and off. With a bus, you get on at the bus stop, sit down and then the bus takes you directly to the door. You don't get that with rail links. Train links are far too much trouble, bus/shuttles are easier.

If she can afford to fly over, then she can afford to pay for a cab.

there are plenty of options available. She’s a grown adult who is getting free accommodation is NY, and who knows you don’t have a car, so it’s totally her responsibility to get herself to yours from the airport.

Guest is too tight to switch their data on, & reckons her 7.5 months pregnant host needs to trek out to the airport to compensate for this?

I'd tell her that if she's not grown up enough to navigate her way from the airport, she's not grown up enough to be allowed abroad alone. Also that if she can't afford train or taxi transport that she can't afford to go abroad.

Shall I just pay for their cab given they have paid for their flights to visit or would you expect a guest of navigate their way to our house (every other guest ever has done this)
No. You'll start this bloody visit on the back foot, pissed off, resentful & out of pocket, & then when this needy guest presumes even more on your generosity & enablement, you'll have nothing left to give.

Can you cancel? Is it a relative?

Like the way you assume the guest is female?!

I wa a thinking if elderly like mum or aunt then maybe pay /meet her

but no not at 30

tell not to be such a skinflint - assume data is £6per day so she can pay for the days she travels so can use the phone

even more so as you are pregnant