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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it weird to go to bed at 8.30pm?

125 replies

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/11/2022 20:59

DP is working, and DD's are sleeping, DS won't go to sleep until 10 but is in his room watching tv and playing quietly, so I've come up to bed. I love snuggling under the duvet and reading or watching tv it literally makes me feel so happy and content but my friend thinks its weird that i would go to bed at 8.30pm. I will need to go and put DS to sleep (he has asd and wont go to sleep earlier) and let the dog out for a wee at 10pm but until then im more than happy in bed watching tv and scrolling MN.

If DP was home id stay downstairs but since he isnt i dont see why i shouldn't be warm and cosy in bed doing the same thing id be doing on the sofa, and if anyone is worried about Ddog he is currently snoring in his bed beside me and will be unimpressed when i wake him and send him outside.

So
AIBU its really strange for an adult to go to bed that early

Yanbu theres nothing wrong with going to bed whenever you want

OP posts:
MrsMitford3 · 20/11/2022 21:57

I think a lot of people are larks or owls.

I am naturally a lark-early to bed early to rise. I literally can not lie in

I love going to bed early!!

EarthSight · 20/11/2022 21:57

Forgot to add - the only thing I'd be careful of is doing too much reading or watching in bed. Some people are fine with this, but it can impact some people's sleep as you start associating your bed with activity. Do whatever works for you though.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 20/11/2022 21:59

Not even a little bit weird. I love snuggling up in bed watching TV or reading, especially on these chilly winter nights.

Blackbutler86 · 20/11/2022 22:01

I can’t imagine going to bed before midnight! I normally go up between 12-1am and am on my phone for a bit/cuddling the cats before sleeping. I don’t even have dinner until 8.30pm some days, I don’t think you are weird though but it’s just not something I could do.

Perfectlystill · 20/11/2022 22:04

No. I go to bed then and turn my electric blanket on and read or watch telly. I absolutely love it.

(This is obviously not the case on nights I go out, when at half eight I am very much only starting my night!)

thegreylady · 20/11/2022 22:04

9 is my bedtime most nights x
A glass of milk, a biscuit and a good book, perfect. I won’t lie down to sleep before 10.30 though and I will be woken by dh many times in the night (he is ill) so this bit of peace is lovely.

DillDanding · 20/11/2022 22:04

I think it’s weird. You’re not a child.

Hawkins001 · 20/11/2022 22:10

Its not strange, personally I should get more sleep.than I do, it's just that you only live once and sleep seems pointless, although I know the body needs it.

redbigbananafeet · 20/11/2022 22:10

My normal bedtime is 9-9.30. What's 'normal'?

Hawkins001 · 20/11/2022 22:10

Plus when I'm half asleep im terrible food eater

Iammatrix · 20/11/2022 22:13

When I was working long hours in NHS, studying and single parent, I would stay up late because I needed down time, to play music, read, think, be ...outside of all the practicalities of life. I would stay up until past midnight but get up at 6.

Now, self employed, DC grown up, left home, just me and DH, we do go to bed earlier, off to bed now actually, especially as the nights draw in.

8.30 a little to early. I love my bed, sleep is wonderful, but I don't want to spend too much time in bed, because I only have one life and even on these dark evenings I can find something to do that is out of my bed.

bloodywhitecat · 20/11/2022 22:15

DillDanding · 20/11/2022 22:04

I think it’s weird. You’re not a child.

As a child I was told when to go to bed, as an adult I can choose and some nights I choose to go to bed early especially when I have been awake on and off since 3am (a mixture of being a grieving widow and the small person being awake too due to their genetic condition)

RaininSummer · 20/11/2022 22:15

Definitely makes sense in the winter as so much warmer. I don't go up til ten but do spend up to 2 hours reading or listening to an audio book and crocheting or something. Can't go too early as I loathe having to get out again before morning.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/11/2022 22:18

Not at all! Bed is warm and comfy. Night night.

Beees · 20/11/2022 22:19

DillDanding · 20/11/2022 22:04

I think it’s weird. You’re not a child.

Why would anyone who chose to go and relax in bed rather than on the sofa be a child?

It's literally no blooming diffent except you're watching TV, reading, prattling about in MN whilst lying in bed instead of on a sofa?

NancyJoan · 20/11/2022 22:23

I go to bed to go to sleep, not to watch TV etc, but still go between 9 and 10. Occasionally 8:30, if I’m especially tired. I love an early night.

Original poster
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/11/2022 22:25

Currently lying in DS bed getting him to sleep. I think i find getting in to bed after the girls are asleep gives me downtime because DS could very well still be awake at midnight. If i was downstairs id find things to do rather than just relaxing. When DP is home we watch tv together or play a board game.

I could quite happily go to sleep at 8.30 and would wake at 8/8.30 but i rarely get more than 6hrs sleep as DS is up so late then the girls tend to be up at 6.30.

OP posts:
namechange3394 · 20/11/2022 22:36

PurpleButterflyWings · 20/11/2022 21:36

WAY too early for me. I would be wide awake at 5am. My normal bedtime is 11pm-midnight. Up around 8.30am. (No kids at home and WFH most days.) Even with young kids (under 7) I would never have gone at 8.30pm. Wouldn't have been able to drop off til about 11pm. I used to go about 10.30pm ... Can't believe so many posters think 8.30pm is normal! Shock

8:30 is extremely late to get up though. The vast majority of households will be up before that for work, school etc.

I usually go to bed 2 hours earlier than you (admittedly am up later tonight!) but I'm also up 2 hours earlier!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/11/2022 22:37

I always get into bed once my younger one is in bed. My eldest is old enough to do her own thing - I’ll obviously have a chat if wanted but usually she’s sitting in her own bed reading or watching something. So I come up to my room and get into bed! It’s the actual lying down and going to sleep I struggle with…

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/11/2022 22:39

8:30 is extremely late to get up though. The vast majority of households will be up before that for work, school etc.

Granted it’s later than most people, but it’s what I’d do if I didn’t get the school run and could wfh. Why would you get up earlier if you didn’t have to?

Soproudoflionesses · 20/11/2022 22:44

I probably wouldn't go that early in summer but absolutely would at this time of year.

Ellie1015 · 20/11/2022 22:47

If you are finished for the night then warching tv/reading on couch or in bed is no different if you ask me. Although in bed does seam more relaxing.

If you were going to bed to sleep at 8 30 regularly that would be a bit unusual.

Ihavedogs · 20/11/2022 22:48

To me going to bed is getting in there and preparing to go to sleep, not using the bed as an alternative to the living room/sofa and then getting up to do a couple of things (sorting out DDog and DS). By the time you actually prepare to go to sleep it could actually be later than a lot of people.

MrsJBaptiste · 20/11/2022 22:50

Seems I'm alone in thinking 8.30pm is a ridiculously early bedtime 😯

I can't imagine getting into bed that early but each to their own. If I did that every time DH was on nights or worked away, I'd barely have an evening 🤷‍♀️

Floralnomad · 20/11/2022 22:51

ScroogeMcDuckling · 20/11/2022 21:23

We are all different though.

I’ve being a pit monster since 7.30 tonight, the dog is snoozing/snoring in his bed, DH is playing on the tablet, it’s wonderful, bedtime wee wees for the dog at ten.

I’ve even bought a litre flask of tea up here, try it, it’s wonderful

Show quote history

Would be a total waste of time for me , i rarely sleep before 2 am at the earliest and I’m quite cosy on my sofa in the evenings .