Spent 2.5 hours cooking and not even a thank you

[Kevintheminion]

AIBU to spend 2.5 hours cooking Sunday dinner and expect a thank you? Both my DC say thank you for dinner and help clear up. Barely a grunt from DH, let alone a thank you. You'd at least be polite after someone had gone to the trouble to cook for you wouldn't you?

I would expect appreciation and acknowledgment of my efforts, even if it’s not expressed as a direct thank you.
I also think 2.5 hrs is not long at all for the cooking of it. By the time you take into account the prep, things needing different timings, making home made roast potatoes, gravy, Yorkshire puddings, basting and clearing up as you go, it’s easily more than that. I might not be staring it at watching it cook, but I’m usually filling the time with the next bit and checking up on it. Add in a homemade pudding or similar and can take the majority of the day. Which is why I don’t do it very often 😂

The day has not yet dawned when I would spend 2.5 hours on cooking one dinner. I value my time more than that.

That's a shame for you and those you may be cooking for. Good meals are worth time.

If you were an experienced cook you would know tha a roast can be very little time or work, if you do a basic one, but that it can easily take 2.5 hours or more to do a proper one. Roast potatoes, roast carrots and parsnips, maybe slow cooked red cabbage with apples and port, proper stuffung, yorkshires, home made gravy, home made sauces, properly doing the meat so basting/turning regularly, maybe doing crackling or whatever....all of the peeling, chopping, processes, it takes time.

And thats before you've even started making the crumble or pastry, stewing fruits and making a custard....

From ethnic offense to soon to be best roast competition, this thread has it all😂

I don't think I have ever thanked DH for cooking dinner for me. Just as he doesn't say thank you when I cook. I genuinely don't know anyone who thanks their OH for doing basic household tasks, I find that weird.
However it sounds like you are taken for granted, but not sure a quick 'thank you for dinner' would make that better

Exactly! Say for Nigella’s perfect roast potatoes, you’ve got to peel them, parboil for just 5 minutes – so no wandering out of the kitchen really – drain and toss in semolina then into a very hot pan of fat. Bread sauce you need to infuse. Even using the food processor to do the fine dice of the stuffing I always make takes a while, plus homemade breadcrumbs, then the celery and onion needs to sweat in butter on a very low heat and not brown, so you need to keep an eye. And wash up every single part of the food processor after that one. (Can’t bear a cook who leaves masses of washing up for the eatees instead of doing a bit as they go along.)

Even a basic roast chicken requires prep with butter and lemon, and I like to roast mine upside-down for the first 15 minutes then flip it.

Once you take into account all the timings, you don’t really get to sit down much between tasks – particularly that frantic last 15 minutes of resting the meat, making the gravy, heating the serving dishes and plates, and generally ensuring everything is ready either at the same time, or stays hot til the last thing is ready.

Of course I’d say thank you after that! But I would also say thank you after my MIL’s “packet of reconstituted sandwich chicken topped with Bisto” roast dinners, while wishing myself dead.

2.5hrs? Mine takes longer and that's with just a chicken..

You got the chicken time
Fresh Yorkshire pudding time
Par boil then roast the potatoes
Veg + cauliflower cheese
Stuffing etc.

How are you doing it in less than 2.5hrs?

It's just basic good manners to say thank you after someone has cooked for you. I would be annoyed at the lack of appreciation.

That's horrible. My DH always says thank you.

My kids rarely do until he reminds them, the ungrateful beggars.

I would expect a thank you for a roast dinner. I would expect a thank you for a cup of tea and some toast. Maybe some people are different but that’s how it runs in our family.

Have you asked him why he hasn't bothered to acknowledge & appreciate your efforts?

Why his DC have better manners than him?

Does he ever cook for his family?

My mother always told me, manners don't cost anything! And yes, he could be stressed, tired, anything - but so could you! It's disrespectful.

No they won't😂

Why are you assuming that the OP made a dessert, aren't you the PP who was mortally offended up thread, because someone assumed (correctly) that a Sunday dinner was a roast?

Surprised you've come back!

We did roast beef for my DB and family last night. Home made yorkshires roasties and gravy, sprouts, carrots and shop bought colcannon mash, shop bought horseradish, and I made a dessert which took 10-15 minutes to prepare and 50 minutes to bake and served it with cream. I certainly didn’t spend 2.5 hours in the kitchen. Mind you DH peeled the potatoes for the roasties and peeled and prepared the carrots.

And also I wouldn’t be making stuffing and yorkshires, for the same roast. One or the other.

DP always says thank you to me - even when he's cooked!!

Well yeah, if you buy some of it ready made and outsource some of the work and make a basic quick dessert, obviously its going to take less time. Not sure why that's relevant though.
2.5 hours is not a long time to spend cooking

I didn't assume she did, if you note. We are talking now about theoretical dinners and how long they may take to make.
Why wouldn't I come back?

DH does most of the cooking in our house and I don't always say thank you. He doesn't thank me for all the housework I do though. Is cooking the only job that requires a thank you?

I thought you wouldn't come back because so many people pointed out you were being ridiculous.

Just because you have people that agree with you, doesn't make you any less wrong.
You shouldn't assume things. Like the way you assumed I was "mortally offended" when I was nothing of the sort, it makes you look very silly.

Reading posts like these always make me so grateful to be married to my dh. He is always, always appreciative of everything I do for him / the family and compliments meals and always thanks me.

He more than pulls his weight with housework (does the vast majority of it) but I am a better cook and I enjoy it so I do more of it. He is a dream to cook for as he is appreciative. I would be irritated beyond belief to live with someone who sits silently chowing down whatever I have cooked without speaking or saying thanks! That's really weird to me.

And similarly I always say thanks for washing up / hoovering / changing the bed (all of which dh does on a daily / weekly basis)

@diddl

Jeez, folks will argue about anything on here! 🙄

No they won't😂

🤣🤣