How many more women are going to find themselves in this situation ?

[sofrustratedbylackofknowledge]

Thread borne by the sheer amount of posts this week alone, of women who have moved in with wealthier men . Men who own houses solely in their name.. and women who have children with them without a contract of marriage or civil partnership..

The relationship breaks down and the woman is either not working or massively economically disadvantaged compared with their partners .

Made even worst by the courts bias towards shared care rendering CM almost negligible...

Why are women putting themselves in this situation. ?

Marriage has a lot of patriarchal connotations which are 'no go' for some women... but now we have civil partnerships why would you not go for this option .. ? Or is it the man refusing to commit ?

Also really concerned about the massive number of contraception failures . So many women taking the pill finding themselves pregnant and deciding to continue the pregnancy with no legal protection ..is the pill /implant failing ?

It's quite simple, if you want that protection get married or enter into a civil partnership.

Indeed!

I think some women just want to be mother's and that's the goal. How many women do you see on here saying it's too late they are infertile? Yes things might be imperfect but they have DC. Many men especially now will string women along especially MC men.
I don't blame some women for the choices they make , if I had to choose between marriage or no DC I'd choose DC.
There's a limited time to have DC you can get married up until death. I think the key is maintaining financial independence if that means having fewer DC just one or two then that's what you need to do.

Older motherhood has done us no favours in terms of the patriarchy. It’s now normal for men to drag dating on for years and years without making a commitment, knowing her clock is ticking but his isn’t. Because leaving it to the 11th hour is seen as ‘normal’. It puts women in desperate situations where they feel Mr Flaky is her last shot at motherhood.

It's actually terrifying isn't it @Georgeskitchen ??? Makes my soul weep when I see/hear people say this. No-one says that about a birth certificate or a passport or a driving licence. And whilst those 3 are all important; a marriage certificate is actually even more important IMO - especially to women.

IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT LEGAL DOCUMENT FFS!!!

This. ^ Hilarious really, how many people who aren't married, still think they should have all the rights, and protection that married couples have.

Well no you CAN'T. As some other posters on here have said, if you want to be equal to married couples. GET MARRIED.

Or just… have / make your own money?

As @sofrustratedbylackofknowledge what an incredibly ignorant and tone deaf post! The vast VAST majority of women are not, never have been, and never WILL be on 5 times their husband's salary as you allegedly are. And as for buying a house on your own as you claim you have done........ Bully for you!!!!! MOST women could never buy a house in a million years on their own. What an utterly ridiculous post. Most ludicrous on this thread!

WTF are you on about? What has 'making your own money' got to do with unmarried couples wanting the same rights as married couples?

Why can't women do that? Why such low expectations of women?

I thank my lucky stars I didn't marry but he's now married and I have no idea what his wife is thinking.

Also many women marry or have more kids knowing the man is useless???

These days, women are quite frequently the higher earner and marriage might put them in a worse position financially.

I'm all for a good wedding celebration but the concept of marriage is outdated now. We can live together, have sex and children without the shaming of previous generations.

Children should be taught about healthy relationships and how it's important to be financially independent. Girls should not be taught that marriage stops them being vulnerable.

@sofrustratedbylackofknowledge

where I live, my ex husband is going to have a shock. Child support is up to 10% of your gross income per child regardless of the marital status of the parents when the child was born. What determines the amount of child support is contact, behavior during the relationship (infidelity means the other adult gets more), length of relationship, each parents earnings and if you are married. We have 3 children. As he is hiding income in his business, they take the income of the business attributed to his ownership. I asked for 3% of his income. He told me it’s a ridiculous amount. Well, let’s see how 30% feels darling.

Child support in the UK has always shocked me. It’s child abuse not to pay. It should come out of income at source and be taxed as income of the parent paid, who invariably is lower income. I think 10% of income per child is reasonable for child support. Non payment should result in jail.

Up until you have a child with disabilities and one of you needs to give up work and deserves to be financially protected by the other parent

37% of children with disabilities have a parent who has had to give up work
36% have a parents who has had to reduce their hours

9% of children are disabled.

The women talking about implants /pills/coil failing are usually lying.

It isn’t as simple to make your own money unless employers value mothers!
And why should we assume that we have to pass childcare over to strangers however we’ll qualified?
A father should want to protect his family.
Men should be taught the value of his children and not screwing the mother over!

I think its one of the things that maybe the old days had right. The only thing that women have that men want is access to our genitals. Deny that and guess what, they were up the aisle and away from the reception as fast as they could arrange it.

Now they get it all with no committment. Sex on date three (later and she is frigid, throw her back. Earlier and she is a slag, shag her then throw her back). Kids where she does the wife work without any wife rights. And if he is really lucky, half of the bills and mortgage paid too.

Trading virginity for security isnt romantic, but is a hell of a better deal for us. The sexual revolution did nothing for women but devalue us in the eyes of men.

How is a woman who gets pregnant whilst she has a coil lying?

Around 8 out of 1000 women with a coil get pregnant every year. That's not lying, it's statistics.

On top of that the coil can slip out of place in 2-10 of.women. Yes you should be checking the strings, but its still not lying.

@Justthisonce12 I’m not sure that nature and modern women agree on what makes the best quality male. Nature would probably think someone like Genghis Khan was a perfect specimen to breed with, but I don’t think he would be a reliable husband!

And why should we assume that we have to pass childcare over to strangers however we’ll qualified?

Because… (wo)man gotta eat!

How else you gonna make your money, seriously?

You have babies you still gotta work, man. Who’s gonna buy all your stuff? Your man!? That’s so deliriously dangerous to rely on someone else for a penny.

Also, the idea of splitting assets / property etc via marriage has to be a generational one.
Like, we’re generation rent. We have naff all to split 😂

The only thing we have is our income and we won’t be giving that up for a man to find it easier to make his.

All the mums I know make more than their men. Why would we want to marry them 🤷‍♀️ We’re good. We have our own money thank you.

The only thing that women have that men want is access to our genitals
true but beyond that they want heirs dont they?

I hate this mn notion that women are disadvantaged all the time
lets face it most women who become sahm and ‘sacrifice careers’ never actually had one to begin with, at least not one they would buy them houses and nice lifestyle.
so rather than being disadvantaged by having children are actually advantaged by it in the case of divorce ( especially if higher earner husband) walking away with assets they’d never have been able to accumulate
you do t have to stop work when you have a child, nor work part time etc. yet do many threads here is like, oh but I can’t work as I have to do school run ( even though there is wrap around care etc)

if women want legal protection they should marry
we don’t need any other laws or silly notion of giving 50% of assets even for a ons that results in s child!
if a man wont marry ( and I’ll certainly be advising my ds not to!) then dont have children unless you’re prepared to work and pay your own way ! ( which you should anyway )

I'll have you know my hubby bought me a ring at the tender age of 15 and we have been in marital bliss for the last 2 years. And a second baby on the way - yeah, I know - biological clock to consider. And my man still pines for me every minute of every day. Wishing the same for you queens! x

We need a new paradigm in which childfree living isn't seen as second-best. Don't surveys show that single, childfree women report far higher levels of happiness than do married and childed women?

As a species we've reliably been able to control our fertility for 100 years. We need to stop educating young women to believe that reproducing is the only path to a fulfilling life. Yes, the childfree may miss out on some special moments but so do the childed. And having children under miserable circumstances is really unfair to the additional human beings who are being often thoughtlessly created, because of "broodyism" or trying to fill an emotional void in the mother-to-be.

Producing another human should be undertaken only in the most optimal circumstances, after careful thought and preparation. It's absurd to consider that a big ask in 2022.

I am not a prude about sexuality but I do think it's a pity that the stigma of out-of-wedlock childbearing has been obliterated.

It was never about sex, it was because "the village" knew that an unmarried mother was likely to become a burden on the village, and that her offspring would too. Expecting people to be partnered before adding new members to the community is not unreasonable, for the children's sake and the sake of the community. Willy-nilly reproduction benefits no one.

Yes but like I said, they are now able to get that without any of the cost of committment of marriage. They can get the heir and spare, safe in the knowledge that it will cost them nothing more than the pittance CMS demands, and often not even that as we all know how easy it is to avoid paying CS.

So why would they put their financial eggs into one marital basket when they can literally get it all for nothing?