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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you allow this?

172 replies

maccaroni · 20/11/2022 13:11

My child is in year 11 and aged 16. They have asked if they can go on holiday abroad with 4 friends (2 male, 2 female) and stay in one of the friends parents apartment. There will be no over 18 present on the trip.
I was interested to know what parents with kids this age think? Would you allow your teen to go? This will be after exams are finished.

OP posts:
Newlifestartingatlast · 20/11/2022 15:03

Look at travel insurance
id think it will be massively expensive
my son is late august baby. When he finished his A levels, he and mates wanted to go abroad. He was still 17 and it cost us a fortune to pay insurance vs what his mates paid.
we did pay because he was being penalised in effect for being august baby

so I’d insurance is high you/he might be able to afford it. Do not, under any circumstances allow him to go without insurance- it could cost you a lot of money if he is injured even minor injury or he loses his passport ( not so unlik ly for 16 year old kid).

BellePeppa · 20/11/2022 15:03

I went abroad for the first time without parents at nineteen and you needed your wits about you then so it would be a definite no from me at sixteen.

Newlifestartingatlast · 20/11/2022 15:04

No it wasn’t - unless you were wealthy

thelobsterquadrille · 20/11/2022 15:07

bendmeoverbackwards · 20/11/2022 14:40

I don’t get the ‘not till they’re 18’. Do they magically become mature on the dot of their 18th birthdays?

It’s not about age per se, it depends on the individual. My middle dd has always been very independent and sensible, she thought nothing of travelling across the UK by train to visit friends in her early/mid teens. I would have had no worries about her abroad at 16. Whereas my youngest dd is much less independent.

They don't magically become more mature, but they do have a lot of rights at eighteen that they don't have at sixteen.

thelobsterquadrille · 20/11/2022 15:08

Duvetdweller · 20/11/2022 14:53

I will go against the grain and I would. DD is friends with boys and girls and they would go away as friends. They’d have phones and if the worst happened you can be in Spain pretty quickly.

Only if you have a valid passport, live close to an airport and can afford the costs of a last-minute flight. And can take the time off work to fly abroad.

CheeseIsMyPatronus · 20/11/2022 15:08

We agreed to UK at 16, abroad at 17. They are smart, capable, sensible and practical.

Their oldest brother still couldn't have done it at 21, he has a very different skillset.

RandomMusings7 · 20/11/2022 15:09

Absolutely not. No adult supervision abroad? So many things could go wrong. Alcohol poisoning and sexual assault come to mind.

alanabennett · 20/11/2022 15:10

I wouldn't - though I went to Crete in lower sixth when I was 17; I think a couple of the lads were 18 though

20viona · 20/11/2022 15:10

Well I went abroad with my boyfriend when we were 16 alone with no supervision and we went the magaluf lol. We were semi sensible I suppose, that was 15 years ago and we are still together 🤣 not sure if I'd let my girls go at that age though.

gourmetperle · 20/11/2022 15:13

After A-levels yes, after gcse's no

Bogglebrain · 20/11/2022 15:13

I wouldn’t allow it either.

my DD16 did travel abroad by herself with friends over the summer but they were staying with family. There was no issue with travel insurance.

MajesticElephant · 20/11/2022 15:13

havent RTFT, and couldn’t bring myself to after the first 5 or so responses. I was living and travelling alone from 16. How ridiculous to say they can’t 😂

thelobsterquadrille · 20/11/2022 15:15

MajesticElephant · 20/11/2022 15:13

havent RTFT, and couldn’t bring myself to after the first 5 or so responses. I was living and travelling alone from 16. How ridiculous to say they can’t 😂

How predictable that there'd be responses like this.

How long ago were you 16?

WaxingGibbon · 20/11/2022 15:16

No, I agree 16 is too young

Bellagio40 · 20/11/2022 15:20

Not a chance

thaegumathteth · 20/11/2022 15:21

No

I was a sensible, mature and independent 16 year old I still did things which were, in retrospect utterly ridiculous.

Ds is almost 16 and there's no way.

Tbh people who say 'well they're 16 they can leave home' just sound like they're absolving themselves of any tough parenting of teenagers .

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/11/2022 15:21

I did... it was low end wild.

In the UK I generally would, abroad I'd be cautious and would want to know the other kids - if I didn't it would be a no.

RandomMusings7 · 20/11/2022 15:22

MajesticElephant · 20/11/2022 15:13

havent RTFT, and couldn’t bring myself to after the first 5 or so responses. I was living and travelling alone from 16. How ridiculous to say they can’t 😂

Maybe your worldview is severe skewed by having had irresponsible parents yourself...?

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/11/2022 15:23

thelobsterquadrille · 20/11/2022 15:15

How predictable that there'd be responses like this.

How long ago were you 16?

Show quote history

It's a perfectly valid response.

The world isn't any more dangerous now, we're just more aware and more protective of teens. It's not always a good thing.

Thepollonator · 20/11/2022 15:26

My very sensible son asked to go away abroad at 16, I hardly ever said no but this time it was a definite no.
We did find a way round it though by saying that we would book our anual holiday for the same time and same country at least we would be in the same country should anything happen, this worked out perfect for him as he wasn't even in the same hotel as us and was allowed to enjoy his holiday as if he had gone alone, we met up with him and his friends one evening for a lovely meal! I just wouldn't be happy with him going without us at 16!

bigfamilygrowingupfast · 20/11/2022 15:26

Yeah I'd be fine with it depending on how sensible the other people in the group are

lindaha · 20/11/2022 15:26

It's a perfectly valid response

no it's not, there was no safeguarding or very lax safeguarding etc years ago so lots of shit happened that shouldn't have.

RandomMusings7 · 20/11/2022 15:26

The rational decision making part of the brain doesn't fully mature until 25. Teenagers have poor impulse control. And not enough life experience to detect dangers that would be obvious to adults.

A 16 year old with no supervision in a foreign country is very very vulnerable.

Fleurdaisy · 20/11/2022 15:27

No. At 16 I don’t think any of them could cope well if one of them was taken ill, had an accident, was robbed or got arrested. If the host parents were there maybe.

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 20/11/2022 15:28

Nope, no chance. Wouldn't be comfortable at all with that.