Would you allow this?

[maccaroni]

My child is in year 11 and aged 16. They have asked if they can go on holiday abroad with 4 friends (2 male, 2 female) and stay in one of the friends parents apartment. There will be no over 18 present on the trip.
I was interested to know what parents with kids this age think? Would you allow your teen to go? This will be after exams are finished.

On a practical note, I think you might struggle to get travel insurance for unaccompanied under 18s

No. Especially because it's abroad and if there's an emergency. They're to young

No way - too young without a responsible adult.

I would expect them to be able to deal with a lost bag or needing medical treatment and getting to a hospital. They’re 16 not 6.

Drinks being spiked, that doesn’t stop being a risk at 18, you can only make sure they’re clued up on not accepting drinks from others, covering drinks, not leaving drinks and going back to them etc. That goes for parties around the corner at a friends house though, not just abroad.

My son was perfectly capable of coping alone at that age as were many of his friends. Obviously you can’t take away every risk and I don’t think anyone is unreasonable if they didn’t let their child go, it’s a tricky age, but I think most 16 year olds are more capable than you think. And if they’re not, many should be and it’s possible they’re being babied.

no from me but by mn logic you will be told after 14 it's fine and you can't stop them etc which I think is nonsense. Irony is if a news story broke of four 16 yos on holiday without parents and something happened mn would be flooded with posts bashing the parents for not doing their job.

In the UK, yes, abroad, no.

They can save that for when they are 18.

No. The only abroad trip I would allow would be a school trip, where they're under the care of responsible adults 24/7 and given a routine to follow. First abroad trip with friends and no adults is 18+.

I'd be interested to know whether they'd be able to get travel insurance as unaccompanied minors abroad.

Would hospitals treat them without parental consent, for example?

its all about trust. has yours/the group gave any inkling they re inclined to reckless. ?? would you leave that group in your home\alone overnight.
at least try that
as friends parent has apartment/do they have family\aquaintances nearby who would step in if problem came up.
i left home at 16.dont see problem really

I probably would have let my son go though as long as the others going are sensible. Once GCSEs are done, I didn’t really say no to anything really. He went to festivals and gigs, not always coming home. I only asked that he let me know he was ok and if he wasn’t coming home as planned that he text to let me know. He’s sensible and independent and I think allowing him to do these things was good for him. It depends on the kid though, how mature and what the friends are like

I had a feeling somebody would use the ''depends on how mature they are'' line. I don't agree with this at all , Even the most sensible 16 year old are still a child and not up to handling any difficult situation that may occur.

Makes me laugh when people on mn say this but then it's totally different if an older man dates an 18 year old as suddenly they ''lack maturity...are still kids etc''.

I have no idea, I’ve said my son only went away in the UK at 16. I was just pointing out that if your 16 year old couldn’t find out what to do if their bag went missing or how to get hospital treatment if it came to it, something had gone very wrong.

has not had

I agree mostly with @FallingsHowIFeel I think 16/17 is a good age for learning to deal with difficult situations. If you’re too protective they won’t build up skills to deal with life’s unpredictable situations.

My DD went to Devon in summer holidays with 5 boys to a holiday home. All the parents were anxious to the point where a couple of the dads split the week and stayed nearby to be there for emergencies. My DD was the only one who really needed their support when she realised she needed a patch test before her pre prom hair appmt and one of the dad's had to drive her to Barnstaple!! She was threatening to get a train home and got a bit stressed over the week. Would not have let her go abroad though

Yes, 16 is fine. Someone can leave home at 16, they can go on holiday at 16

yea 16 is legal age of consent too but would you say the same if your 16 yo daughter took home a 26 yo man? No you'd say she's just a kid etc...

I don’t get the ‘not till they’re 18’. Do they magically become mature on the dot of their 18th birthdays?

It’s not about age per se, it depends on the individual. My middle dd has always been very independent and sensible, she thought nothing of travelling across the UK by train to visit friends in her early/mid teens. I would have had no worries about her abroad at 16. Whereas my youngest dd is much less independent.

I’m being made to feel like I am over strict and completely unreasonable by the other parents… and my child

tell the other parents to fuck off, she is your child, your responsibility,your rules. You can parent her the way you like. I'd be livid if any of my friends parents tried to influence my parenting.

I don’t get the ‘not till they’re 18’. Do they magically become mature on the dot of their 18th birthdays?
It’s not about age per se, it depends on the individual

at 18 they are full adults and no longer under the care of the parents so the parents are saying that as long as thy are the legal guardian/authority of the child they'd not allow them to go on holiday like that under their authority.

Young people don’t magically develop adult levels of responsibility once they turn 16. It has to be built up. This can be done by them doing things more locally (with parental safety net) such as going to a gig, festival or holiday in the UK. They are still very vulnerable at 16.

in addition Dd reckons that young people her age and younger appear to be developmentally behind a year or two in many ascots, probably due to being defined these social and development opportunities during covid.

Not at 16 and not without adults. There may even be issues with travel - letters etc needed from parents because the travelers are under 18.

I don’t get the ‘not till they’re 18’. Do they magically become mature on the dot of their 18th birthdays?

by 18 they, hopefully have had two years of building up their maturity/experiences in he UK etc.

But my son could handle a ‘difficult’ situation like a bag going missing or an injury, like others have listed. I’m not saying all 16 year olds would be but my son had shown me he could.

Im not sure why you want to use that to justify some pervy 45 year old man dating an 18 year old. Do you have an agenda here? 🤔 My son would have the sense not to date some pervy older woman though as he’d see the imbalance and would also see her as boring compared to the females around his own age. Weird thing to bring up though. Very dodgy. Keep away from the youngsters maybe? 😅

Nope.

To all the people saying ''it's fine if they are mature for their age'', would you say the same if your 16/17 yo brought home a 25 yo man and he said he liked her because she was mature for her age?

I've lost count of the amount of threads that condemn men who date teens and young adult women using this excuse.

No, and I’m very liberal. Another year makes a big difference to their abilities to judge situations.