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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you allow this?

172 replies

maccaroni · 20/11/2022 13:11

My child is in year 11 and aged 16. They have asked if they can go on holiday abroad with 4 friends (2 male, 2 female) and stay in one of the friends parents apartment. There will be no over 18 present on the trip.
I was interested to know what parents with kids this age think? Would you allow your teen to go? This will be after exams are finished.

OP posts:
Badgirlriri · 20/11/2022 13:42

I went abroad with friends at this age. Was absolutely fine.

VisitingThem · 20/11/2022 13:42

I'd be uncomfortable with it being abroad but in the UK yes.

twoandcooplease · 20/11/2022 13:44

No. I went at 17 but definitely not 16

twoandcooplease · 20/11/2022 13:45

Imagine something happens in a foreign country and it's only a bunch of kids to sort the problem out. What if they need a doctors help or embassy...

Letthesunshineonin · 20/11/2022 13:45

Depends on where and how mature your child is. One of mine I would have had no problem, the other child no way.

Numbat2022 · 20/11/2022 13:46

Nope, and definitely not a mixed sex group. I to went to Reading age 16, but I was nearly 17 and it was all girls, sharing tents. Of course we met guys and had fun, but it's different to a nice comfy double bed in a holiday house.

Autumflower · 20/11/2022 13:49

No

BiggerBoat1 · 20/11/2022 13:49

I have DC very similar ages. Absolutely NO WAY would I allow that. They are too young.

KingscoteStaff · 20/11/2022 13:50

UK, just the girls OR abroad with a grown up in next apartment - yes at 16
Abroad no adults - not til after A levels

Sparkletastic · 20/11/2022 13:51

18 yes
16 no

Original poster
maccaroni · 20/11/2022 13:52

It’s Spain if that makes a difference? And my child is female. She is sensible but I think they are too young and should wait till next year or better still the year after when they are 18.
I’m being made to feel like I am over strict and completely unreasonable by the other parents… and my child.
Just wanted a reality check tbh

OP posts:
MeridianB · 20/11/2022 13:52

Not without an adult present, no.

Amanita24 · 20/11/2022 13:54

No way

Whatsleftnow · 20/11/2022 13:56

Not a chance.

When I was 16 I gave my dm such a hard time for being a fuddy duddy parent. I was 21 before I had enough maturity to admit to her how grateful I was that she held the line. I could not have coped at 16 with what really went on at sleepovers and trips.

ladywithnomanors · 20/11/2022 13:58

No. They're still children.

grayhairdontcare · 20/11/2022 13:59

We let DD1 go at that age BUT it was because the compromise was that we were in the same place but a different area . Just in case.
We were never needed though

Coasterfan · 20/11/2022 13:59

I m pretty laid back about most things but this would be a no from me!

thelobsterquadrille · 20/11/2022 14:00

Not a chance in hell.

If it was in the UK where I could drive down in an emergency, then yes - but not abroad.

Bathtubbathing · 20/11/2022 14:00

DD, yes.
DS, who is older, no.

My two are extremely well travelled and have watched me deal with tricky things abroad, so that's what gives me confidence to say yes for my daughter.

Fwiw, our last family holiday was hard work so I'm actively encouraging DD to arrange to go abroad next summer with a friend... She'll be 16 by then.

Insaneinthemembraneee · 20/11/2022 14:01

I let my 16 yr old dd go to Greece with her boyfriend who was 17 at the time.

She knew the place & lots of locals/Brit expats out there. As we'd previously been on family holidays there on numerous occasions.
They had a fantastic time.

Dd is mature for her age and also isn't a big drinker even know at nearly 23; I've never seen her drunk.
So no fear in that respect, you know your child best.

Dontaskdontget · 20/11/2022 14:03

No. It would probably be fine but they’re too young to deal with the unknowns. What if their bags get lost by the airline? What if someone gets ill overseas and they have to deal with hospitals, insurance etc? What if they go to a cafe and their drinks get spiked? What if the boys are expecting sex and the girls aren’t? What if they clash with a group of local teens and end up in a fight? What if they get locked out etc etc

They’re too young to cope alone if something goes wrong.

youcantry · 20/11/2022 14:07

I did allow this when my daughter was 16, but there were 18yr olds in the group (Older sisters of a couple of the 16yr olds). There were no issues. They'd already been to Reading festival with no dramas. I also did the same at 16, one of my friends got really ill whilst we were away and we managed to deal with it, including getting her and her sister an earlier flight home. No mobile phones in those days either so had to use phone boxes for communication. I buggered off to Australia just after my 18th for 6mths.......still no mobile phones, think I called my parents every couple of weeks - at least now we have ways of being in contact 24/7.

ArabellaScott · 20/11/2022 14:07

Yes, 16 is fine. Someone can leave home at 16, they can go on holiday at 16!

Georgeskitchen · 20/11/2022 14:09

No . Not at 16 x
What are the other parents saying?

hennybeans · 20/11/2022 14:12

Not a chance until 18. And even then I would worry a lot. There are lots of men/ criminal groups who are on the look out for vulnerable girls. I have a very responsible DS in year 11 and no way would he go either.

I also wonder if under 18s are allowed to travel without an adult abroad due to trafficking laws.