AIBU to get 6 year old get ear piercings?

[MRIELA]

Hello all, my 6 year old has been asking for months for ear piercings (her cousin got them at 5) , I have talked to her about the importance of daily cleaning, that there is always risk of infection etc and havent brought it uo myself until she asks if I have made an appointment yet and when could I make one. I talked to local piercing salons, of course needle piercings are the best but they dont deal with customers under 14. Which brings me to Claires (or does anyone know another better place perhaps?)- I had gun piercings myself at 7 and luckily had no problems, must say I am in my 30s and would still let no one near me with a needle :). Was I lucky because I read a lot of negative things about gun piercings, does anyone have any good/bad experiences with a younger child,any regrets or all went well?

@AllThingsServeTheBeam @Sarahcoggles report away - I've said nothing wrong. I simply disagreed with you and I do think your comments were vile. I could just as easily report you for conflating ear piercing decisions to child abuse and making what I feel to be xenophobic comments. If mnhq take issue with the use of the word vile compared to all the profanity and derogatory remarks that says more about the platform than me.

You said I was a vile person, which is a personal attack, which is not the same as disagreeing with me.

There's nothing racist about saying that inflicting pain on children (who are too young to understand or consent) for purely cosmetic purposes is abuse. I don't care what other cultures consider acceptable, that's not the debate. In my opinion it is abusive to physically hurt a vulnerable person without a compelling medical reason.

Most parents find it quite upsetting when their babies cry when having their jabs, even though we know it's for their own good. I will never understand how a parent can watch their baby cry in pain as a needle pierces their ear just so the parent can bling them up.

Perhaps you can explain how you rationalise inflicting that pain for cosmetic reasons? Or would you prefer just to tell me I'm a vile person? I guess it's easier to just slag me off than formulate an argument.

@Sarahcoggles I am informing you that in certain cultures ear piercing isn't seen as "just" cosmetic beautification . I don't have to rationalise those cultural positions to you - if you care so much research yourself instead of asking me to take on unpaid labour on your behalf.

You don't understand how some parents could pierce daughters ears or circumcise sons - that's fine, don't allow your DC to. What you can't do is cast aspersions on these parents for taking a different approach. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

I'm not going to give you the pleasure of going back on the least productive game of internet tennis. I've said what I've said. I won't be apologising nor will I be explaining.

WhenIgrowup42
You're probably right, and if it's not as an accessory then it's down to an adult getting involved in playground peer pressure.
I'd be mortified as a mother if my reason to put my child through a more risky piercing procedure is because other 7 year olds in playground thing it's cool.

It's so telling that there's all these children who are 100% giving informed consent to everything ear piercing involves but they have to have it done with two guns at once because when having holes in your ears hurts (shock horror!!) they might not want the second one done.

You don't understand how some parents could pierce daughters ears or circumcise sons - that's fine, don't allow your DC to. What you can't do is cast aspersions on these parents for taking a different approach. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

I understand that in some cultures parents routinely physically punish their children.

I wouldn't do so and wouldn't remain with a partner who did.

I would absolutely judge a parent who physically punishes their children, even though those children aren't anything to do with me personally. Because I believe it to be wrong.

Being a parent doesn't make someone immune to someone 'casting aspersions' on them.

They don't have to respond to that by changing, obviously. But why can't they be criticised?

I got mine done for my 12th birthday after YEARS of pleading. I was old enough to look after them, and was only ever really allowed to wear studs - and certainly not for PE at school. (My dad had seen too many jewellery related injuries at work - torn ears, finger débridements, and the like.)
I had gun piercings done at a hair salon. Then my seconds at 19, with a gun again. After that, they’ve all been needle, but have always struggled with healing of cartilage piercings…

Anyway. I’d say give it a couple of years. Find nicer clip ins, and bide your/her time.

To be clear, I'm not saying piercing is punishing. I'm giving an example that shows the logic you've asked people to follow - that parents with different cultural practices to them shouldn't have 'aspersions cast' on them if they are only affecting their own children. I've used physical punishment as an example.

Go to an APP registered piercer.

Don't trust someone who's had three hours training and uses a plastic "gun" which is splattered with the fall out of previous users.

Go to an APP registered piercer.

Oh, and lastly, go to an APP registered piercer.

I come from a culture where piercing babies/toddlers/young children is very normal, and I think it's an awful practice.

I wouldn't be allowing it before secondary school at the absolute earliest, preferably later.

Painless (or at least less painful) clip-on earrings are easy enough to come by on places like Etsy. Vintage ones are also great.

6 is too young to understand the impact of making a lifelong choice about her appearance. Wait until she is older. Surely she can have clip on earrings in the meantime?

It’s better to get your ears pierced when you’re younger. That way the hole never closes.

That's only good if you don't want it to. My ears were pierced when I was 2 and the holes have never closed up but I don't wear earrings.

@monsteramunch the post I was referring to called piercing a child's ear child abuse. That was what I am complaining about.

You only said you wouldn't do it because you don't like it which is your prerogative. That isn't what I was talking about.

Yet it's your comments that were deleted. Ear piercing a baby or toddler is vile as is circumcision. There is zero wrong with that statement.

This is such a bizarre topic on mumsnet with such strong feelings. I don't know anyone in real life who considers getting their daughter's ears pierced as abuse. Is this a recent thing as when I was at primary school in the late 80s/early 90s, most girls had their ears pierced, it just wasn't a big deal.

The end result is not the same with gun piercings - they create blunt force trauma rather than neat holes. Gun piercings are far more likely to get infected and be generally problematic.

I also think my child deserves better than the 16 year old Saturday girl at Claire’s Accessories.

Not abuse. Just unnecessary for babies and toddlers

@AllThingsServeTheBeam as I said says more about the platform than me

Erm not when you're the only one calling people untrue names.

That was 30 years ago, so not all that recent at all really.

I'm surprised at most of the responses saying YABU... When I was 6 I feel like most girls had their ears pierced... Mine were done as a baby (cultural thing), but they closed up when I started school as I had to take them out for P.E. and kept forgetting to put them back in again, so I got them done again at 10. At Claire's, and apart from the initial shock they didn't hurt at all.

At 6 I think you would need to be much more proactive at making sure she looks after them, takes them out and puts them back in for P.E. etc., but if she wants them and understands it will hurt a bit then I don't see a reason why not to get them done for her.

I have multiple piercings, I like them and also like them on little girls. With a child I think it is an informed decision. Will they cope with the pain after? How will they manage at PE/Swimming? Are they sensible enough? That can happen at six years old, although 10 might be better.

FWIW I think my eight year old wouldn't cope. My version of aftercare is "leave it the fuck alone' and I don't see her managing that.