AIBU to get 6 year old get ear piercings?

[MRIELA]

Hello all, my 6 year old has been asking for months for ear piercings (her cousin got them at 5) , I have talked to her about the importance of daily cleaning, that there is always risk of infection etc and havent brought it uo myself until she asks if I have made an appointment yet and when could I make one. I talked to local piercing salons, of course needle piercings are the best but they dont deal with customers under 14. Which brings me to Claires (or does anyone know another better place perhaps?)- I had gun piercings myself at 7 and luckily had no problems, must say I am in my 30s and would still let no one near me with a needle :). Was I lucky because I read a lot of negative things about gun piercings, does anyone have any good/bad experiences with a younger child,any regrets or all went well?

If a professional piercer won't do them until 14, they're saying that for a reason.

I'm not anti piercing (have 13 myself) but I wouldn't have a random young girl piercing my child with a gun. It's not being snobby, it's about wanting quality.

Only on Mumsnet do girls wait until they're 15 and get it done with a needle!

In the real world, most girls have it done while they're still at primary school - my DD was 10 and one of the last in her primary class to do it.... and as far as I know, they'd almost all had it done at Claire's or a local beauty parlour (with a gun).

I remember my sister-in-law raising her eyebrows and commenting that she was "very young". Perhaps it's a cultural thing (my niece attends an exclusive public school) - and I was surprised at that comment because in our circle, it really wasn't.

Personally I think it's sensible to do it at an age when a parent still has authority to insist on proper daily cleaning. If a child is 15 then it's down to them to do it and take it seriously. Considering that by 15-16, many of my daughter's friends were giving each other second and third piercings and stick & poke tattoos with shared needles, I think that's unlikely!

There seems to be so many young children nagging and going on at their mothers at such a young age. My 4 year olds were playing with toys.

My mother made me wait til i was 16 and i'll be doing the same with my kids.

I don't think you let a child make an ill-informed choice to damage their body.

@Saffronquoda

Agreed, my 6 y o is oblivious to this stuff.

In the real world, most girls have it done while they're still at primary school - my DD was 10 and one of the last in her primary class to do it.... and as far as I know, they'd almost all had it done at Claire's or a local beauty parlour (with a gun).

This really depends on area and demographic. Few girls in our primary have it done & its generally those from a culture where its done in infanthood.

I change my mind about this all the time. I used to think not before 16 or so - but I feel more strongly about bodily autonomy even for quite young children now. 6 is still a bit young for me, as I don’t really think a 6 yr old can make a considered decision.

Bit puzzled why a belly button piercing would be ‘lol not until 16’, I don’t see it as very different? Both body modifications you may regret and that may cause significant scarring, equally both things that many people get when young and later remove or don’t bother with. If you’re old enough to choose one aren’t you old enough to choose the other? What’s the difference in your mind?

I think 6 is too young.

In the real world, most girls have it done while they're still at primary school - my DD was 10 and one of the last in her primary class to do it.... and as far as I know, they'd almost all had it done at Claire's or a local beauty parlour (with a gun).
That's how mine were done. It was common to have them done with a gun in the summer between Y5/6 or Y6/7. Thankfully I had no problems.

But now I'm an adult who knows more about piercings, the problems with guns, and the lack of training, I'd not be doing the same for my DC.

Sometimes the grown up thing is to realise that we have more information and it's silly to say "well I was ok".

I thought there was a horror of Claire's being used as a place for this?

www.thelist.com/432008/heres-why-you-should-think-twice-about-getting-a-piercing-at-claires/

I had mine done at 6 after months of begging. My best friend was in the year above and she had hers done and I was green with jealousy. Had mine at the local hairdressers with a gun and they were fine but turns out I’ve got ears of steel and can tolerate any earring etc.

I had my second piercings done at Claire’s with a gun and they’re wonky. Guns can be unreliable when it comes to placement of the piercing and for that reason alone I’d not recommend them.

Took my 8yr old niece (at her mums request) to have hers done at the local piercing and tattoo studio and I was so impressed. It reeked of disinfectant. It was so clean and every piece of equipment was opened in front of us so we could see it was sterile.

Mine were 7 , the summer holiday before ks2 so they had time to heal and be taken out for PE. Both done at Claire 's as were a lot of their friends ( and mine as an adult because my parents wouldn't let me get mine done) and no problems, many years later.

A gun is not recommended. Claire’s staff are not appropriately trained.
Yes, there’s a chance it will be fine. But a high likelihood it won’t, and it’s unfair for a 6 year old to have to deal with the issues a gun piercing can bring.
There are piercers who’ll do younger children with needles, you might just need to look further afield.

Wait until she is older. As she grows the holes may be off centre

It heals over though. No lasting damage.

It's body modification, usually for the parents vanity. Many agree that it is child abuse. The same with chopping off a babies foreskin unless there is a medical need. A tongue tie is different as they can cause medical issues.

But it is a good point. Many of your friends, family and your child's teachers will consider it child abuse/bad parenting and judge you accordingly. The only children in my DC's class who have their ears pierced are also the parents that openly shout and swear at their DC. And are generally the 'chavs'.

I personally wouldn't until atleast secondary. And definitely never with a gun. It's very common for guns to jam, blunt force trauma, clairs have virtually no training and much less hygienic. Much less likely to do them equally and charge a fortune.

Well you’re clearly going to take her to Claire’s and have them done whatever anyone says.

@Chimna where do you live that only chavs get their ears pierced? Where I live many families of south East Asian and African descent get their daughters ears pierced and they aren't the type to scream at their kids. They are high achieving children who are for the most part respectful to adults and their classmates.

I always said I’d wait until my daughter asked. She starting asking at 5 but we held out and she had them dine for her 7th birthday. She had them done at Claire’s, obviously with a gun. They healed lovely. She was very sensible and cleaned them every night. No problems at all. She’s 16 now and just had the seconds done with a needle and the top of her ear. Again no issues .

i had mine done when I was about 7 and by the time I was 12 I had 4 in each ear. All done with a gun, no issues at all.

It's not racist. I don't give a shit if it's cultural. Doesn't make it right. A child of 6 fair enough if they want them done and can help look after them. But babies and toddlers, there is just no need

A refreshing opinion that I agree with.

North Yorkshire

Having the ears of a baby or toddler pierced is vile. As is circumcision. Unless for a genuine medical reason.

OP wasn't asking if you, a random stranger on the Internet, think it looks tacky.

My dd had hers done when she was nearly 8, she wanted to and I had no issue. It was even done at claire's, shock horror. It has been fine. She was at a private school, and it was pretty much the default year 3 birthday present. I think 6 is old enough to know if they want it or not and at that age I don't think that it looks horrible, it's fine.