AIBU to get 6 year old get ear piercings?

[MRIELA]

Hello all, my 6 year old has been asking for months for ear piercings (her cousin got them at 5) , I have talked to her about the importance of daily cleaning, that there is always risk of infection etc and havent brought it uo myself until she asks if I have made an appointment yet and when could I make one. I talked to local piercing salons, of course needle piercings are the best but they dont deal with customers under 14. Which brings me to Claires (or does anyone know another better place perhaps?)- I had gun piercings myself at 7 and luckily had no problems, must say I am in my 30s and would still let no one near me with a needle :). Was I lucky because I read a lot of negative things about gun piercings, does anyone have any good/bad experiences with a younger child,any regrets or all went well?

I think it depends on how emotionally mature and sensible they are. I only have boys but ds1 is nearly 8 and he isn't mature enough to know how to take care of them. One of his friends just had her ears pierced but she is very sensible. I doubt most 6 year olds are tbh

If you are happy to the let DD get them done- I got mine pierced at 8 days old (over 30 years ago) and culturally it's expected that I would.

I have a DD 7months old and it's constantly brought up/complained about by the non white family members that I haven't pierced her ears yet. If/when I feel ready she'll get them pierced and like I had as a baby she'll be wearing 18ct earrings as apparently that reduces risk of infection.

Personally all this nonsense that "most people find children with piercings inappropriate" is thinly veiled racism, Many cultures in the global majority don't.

I like to send the message to my children that they can do what they like to their own bodies providing that:

1. it's reversible (you can just take earrings out and they'll either seal up or be hardly noticeable).
2. they can demonstrate that they understand the risks.
3. it's not a 'whim'. When DD2 asked for her head shaved I made her wait a few months and she changed her mind.
4. it falls within the rules of the institutions that they attend (school and clubs)

6 would have been a bit young for my DDs to have been able to meet criteria 2 and 3, however they were both able to by age 8 and were able to independently clean them and take them in and out by that age.

I let them style their hair how they like, wear what they like, play with make-up etc. so long as it fits within the above criteria.

How would she cope with infections, healing bumps, keloids? Have you watched videos on those too?

It's interesting isn't it because I'd think a belly button is probably safer? Less chance of them getting caught on something/torn when she's playing, only one piercing instead of two with her ears etc.

Why is it ok to pierce a hole through your six year olds ear lobes but not her belly button? Or her nose?

11 is the absolute youngest I'd allow.

Maybe I am out of touch but it looks awful on young children.

More relevant though is that it hurts, needs a lot of after care and there is a real risk of infection.

I don’t see a problem with using a gun as opposed to a needle to be honest. And as long as you’re not forcing your child to have a piercing I would say go ahead. I would probably say to her she can have it done on her next birthday as part of her present though as this might make her think again about how much she actually does want it done.

There was a post last week about piercings at Clare's, one reply said she used to work there and detailed the training (if you can call it that) that she had

I certainly wouldn't want my DD to have her ears pierced there and the majority of the other replies were very negative

I think something like a piercing should be done by a professional in a professional, sterile setting. If that's snobby then yes I'm a snob

Personally all this nonsense that "most people find children with piercings inappropriate" is thinly veiled racism, Many cultures in the global majority don't.

I think it's a slight stretch to suggest that not wanting to arbitrarily punch a hole through a small child's flesh makes you a racist.

Just take your DD to Claire or Accessorize and let her chose some stick-on earrings.

Personally I see my job as a parent as to get DD to adulthood in as few a pieces as possible. As soon as she is 18 she is an adult and can make her own decisions on what to pierce or tattoo but until then it's a blanket "No", she knows this, there is no wiggle room and accepts it.

If you do get them done then wait until the Summer holidays so they can heal over the summer and can be taken out for sport. Or keep it as a grown up thing that she does between Primary and starting High School. Just because her cousin has them done doesn't mean she has too.

Personally I think 6 is way too young but have you even asked the school or checked the handbook etc? - they might require them out or covered for PE? In which case surely summer school holidays are your only option?

The absolute youngest I would allow is the summer holidays between primary and secondary school, so I guess age 11. The children need to be old enough to take some responsibility for keeping their ears clean.

Piercings on really small children not old enough to properly understand and consent make me wince.

I'd definitely wait!
My DDs won't be having theirs done until they're 10 (assuming they want them at all) and it'll be at a piercing place, not the weekend girl at Claire's with 2 weeks training!

Personally at this age I would allow clip ons but not get them pierced. If I did it wou)d be at a piercing studio. i got mine done at clairs and have lumps in both my ears from it and actuslly chose to let the holes close because of it

My just turned 9 year old DD had hers done last weekend at Claire's after wanting them for some time. Was quick and easy, she didn't even flinch for either ear. She is delighted with it and is being very responsible with the after care.

Just because a child really wants something doesn't mean it should happen. A child does not need holes punched in their ears.

Plenty of people will disagree with me of course as it's MN.

But I'd let a 6 year old.

I would though make her wait for the start of the summer holidays as they do take a long time to heal.

Although there's been lots of outrage that I bought the piercing equipment myself (same one as Claire's) and then did both my 2 DDs ears during lockdown as I knew they'd have much longer healing than a normal 6 weeks.

Even me, trained by YouTube and practiced on various soft toys, pierced their ears perfectly no infections for either and healed quickly. My theory was I knew I'd take more care and precision than someone who didn't know them.

Also the system Claire's now use is a lot less force and gentler than the old fashioned spring loaded guns. So definitely if you're doing 'gun' go somewhere that uses the Studex system.

And a benefit is I now have the set and have done lots of my friends for a fraction of the price. (I won't ever pierce a child who isn't my own's ears though. That's a line I refuse to cross!)

Belly button piercings are not safer when it comes to risk of complications and infections and what a bizarre question, I think everyone knows belly button piercings are meant to be sexual to attract attention to the navel area- why would you even compare the two?

To another OP yes she is aware of the infections and complications as well, we read through the list of possible complications, discussed what they mean, what treatment she might need etc and watched videos of piercings gone wrong. Hence why I wondered how easy it is to get an infetion, my piercings were trauma free, fast,quick needle prick feeling and had sore ears for a few days/ a week? I have had moremore pain during bloodtests :) if I was just lucky or are infections and complications very common going by peoples experiences with their children.

To the posters suggesting waiting till the summer, good point, better for the healing,no hats rubbing etc plus it will be her 7th birthday in the end of May :)

I had mine done at 8 with a gun, no issues at all, only one of my DD's chose to have their ears pierced, she was 9

YANBY to allow her to have her ears pierced, but YABU to get it done with a gun.

I know needle piercings don't guarantee that you won't have problems but a reputable studio will keep in contact with you for after care.

Amongst my daughters' friends and children I have taught I know of a number of occasions with infections from gun piercings - 2 children had to visit A&E to get the butterfly back removed as it had become embedded in the ear.

In response to people saying about removing earrings for PE - they may be healed enough to swap earrings after 6 weeks, but not necesarily healed enough to keep out all day (if DD can't replace them herself). You might need to see what the school policy is and cover them for PE.

Belly button piercings are not safer when it comes to risk of complications and infections and what a bizarre question, I think everyone knows belly button piercings are meant to be sexual to attract attention to the navel area- why would you even compare the two?

I didn't compare the two. You did. You said ears are fine, belly button not until she's 16. I was curious why you felt there was a ten year difference in the appropriate age for each. I see now it's because you see one as sexual, which is fair enough. I don't personally view a belly button piercing as sexual, but each to their own.

Would you let her get nose pierced? Or eyebrow?

I’d let her.

i had mine done at 7 and it was fine. It’s not something I can get worked up about.

She dosent want them because of her cousin,her cousin is 10 and has had them for years she was a baby when she got ears pierced,

So not 5?

@mnchat

Piercing a baby's ears is considered inappropriate by many people, it's not racism, I don't care whether you are white, black or a green Martian. There's plenty of cultural practices we now find abhorrent and it's not racist, it's that it's wrong to inflict pain on a child without consent unless for medical reasons where the benefits are clear (yes I disagree with circumcision which is widely practiced within white American communities). Modification of your body is a tricky one, I think once you can understand the ramifications then you can though I'm uncomfortable with certain practices still.

It might only be ears but it's a principle. This is whatever your ethnic background (and yes plenty of white British pierce baby's ears)