Grandparents and Christmas

[AutumnFox]

I think my MIL goes OTT at Christmas with my DD. She’s her only grandchild but she shops for her as if she’s her child. I appreciate it and it’s lovely of her but I worry that DD will grow up getting used to these piles of presents and if MIL gets other grandchildren she won’t be able to carry it on. She spends more on DD than I do!

for example this year so far she’s bought her books, pyjamas, slippers, games, multiple toys etc - DD is only 2!

AIBU to suggest that she maybe tone it down a bit? She messaged me this morning saying she’s back out today to get more stuff.

How much do grandparents normally get their grandkids for Christmas?

To be honest, as long as they can afford it, if it makes them happy I don't see the harm. We are in a cost of living crisis so if it takes the pressure of you, then surely it will help? Although it can be frustrating if the GPs seem to trump everything, think of the bigger picture and what it will save you in the long run.

It really is. At a conservative estimate of the number of days they wear jumpers (everyday of a weekend/school holiday barring only about 6 weeks of the summer so very conservative) and a jumper easily lasting 2 years that's only about 10 wears per jumper. Which is a ludicrously small amount.

Having to get rid of in size still good condition clothes to make room for new ones just for the sake of someone buying something because they like buying stuff pisses me off.

It’s not.

If you want your kids wearing worn out old tatty ill fitting 2 year old jumpers then go ahead but 6 jumpers isn’t a lot. Some of use like our kids to look nice.

and yes the jumpers will look tatty if you only have two and have to wash them a lot because you are too tight to have more.

Approx 10 wears per item, which is what I estimated above in no way makes an item tatty. Something very wrong with your washing machine if it does.

We give one good present and several smaller things to our granddaughter. She does get lots of presents (her other grandparents give about the same number of gifts) but her mum puts some away for her to give as birthday presents, and some she saves for opening later in the year.

Of course they only wear it 10 times😂. I suppose you don’t let your kids out to play so it doesn’t get dirty either so you can preserve it’s life.

bet they only need 2 pairs of pants too 😂

@KittieDaley if stuff is getting put away to give later in the year and to be given as birthday presents would you not be better cutting back what you give and put money in a savings account.

Or give mum money to get her new shoes or something later in the year?

I did the maths upthread! You can believe it or not but as they don't change after school they don't wear a jumper year round and rarely get less than 2 years out of anything as they don't grow that quickly then yes, 6 jumpers would average out at about 10 wears. Obviously it isn't even as some are more popular than others.

And yes they get plenty dirty. I like how you've managed to accuse me of letting my children look tatty at the same time as insisting they stay inside and pristine. Not sure how that works.

Couldn't care less how many jumpers any one else's children have, obviously. Fact is that if MIL ignores me and buys more this Christmas I will have either over-stuffed drawers with stuff in that will hardly be worn or have to give away stuff still in size and looking good to make room. Both of which will annoy me.

My 3 year old has clothes in her bursting wardrobe that have either come from her 8 year old brother or 6 year old sister...how are people only getting 10 wears out of things.

By having too many! My argument is that 6 jumpers averages out at not much more than 10 wears which is why I don't want to be given anymore. This apparently makes me tight.

Ahh I get you. I thought you were arguing the other way.

Yea I am a massive fan of hand me downs if anyone walks into my house with clothes for my kids I would cry. We have more than enough.

10 wears in 2/3 years??? Really?

Exactly but apparently she’s done her maths. 😂

I just don’t get it? For example; my DC this weekend on Saturday morning went to a trampoline park. Saturday afternoon we went out to the theatre & then for dinner out so that’s another jumper.
Sunday morning we visited family; a jumper each again. Then we put on warm clothes and went out for a big walk with friends in the afternoon.
4 jumpers..
Tonight DD has dance and DS2 has football; they will both wear a jumper over their kits as it’s cold.
I am completely lost as to how a child can only have 6 jumpers yet that’s too much? What about when they go away, do they only take 1 outfit?

Ha, I went a bit awry there now I've rechecked! OK it's more like double that and probably 20 averaged out. Must have divided twice between the 2-3 years.

Very silly error. But I still think that's very little wear overall. And doesn't change 6 jumpers being absolutely plenty as far as I'm concerned.

I just don’t get it?
We probably change less.

For example; my DC this weekend on Saturday morning went to a trampoline park. Saturday afternoon we went out to the theatre & then for dinner out so that’s another jumper. They wouldn't have worn a jumper somewhere hot like a trampoline park. If they did it would only be on the way there. Wouldn't have changed it for the evening.

Sunday morning we visited family; a jumper each again. Then we put on warm clothes and went out for a big walk with friends in the afternoon. Wouldn't have been a change either. Warm clothes would mean a coat over their existing jumper.
4 jumpers.. So 2 at most. If they didn't get filthy at dinner which is possible although unlikely it would be one
Tonight DD has dance and DS2 has football; they will both wear a jumper over their kits as it’s cold. Probably an extra one each there but our activities are either have jumpers that are uniform specifically for that or its onesie over swimming stuff.

So wearing 2 jumpers every weekend still equates to more to 20 wears in 2/3 years.
There are 312 weekend days in 3 years… they’re wearing 6 jumpers every 3 weeks for the sake of argument; 2 a weekend.

Yes. But there are loads of warm weekends when they don't wear one at all or very short periods so they dont need changing. So often only one every 7 days.

I've never thought about my children's jumper wearing habits so much! This is all hilariously odd.

I can say for certain that I have given away plenty over the years to charity shops that they have finally grown out of but look like new because they have repeatedly been bought too many.

Pretty much every post I see on here is women slagging off their MIL’s for seemingly extremely minor “crimes”.
Why do so many women have issue with their MIL’s ?
would you be asking the same question if it was your own Mum if you knew she could afford it.
If more grandchildren come along and the budget has to be eventually shared so what ?
Im sure you’ll have far more difficult things to explain to your daughter over the next 18 years. If it bothers you that much tell her to keep all the stuff at her house for when you visit.

This jumper conversation is a bit mad. But I'd agree 6 jumpers is a lot and it also depends on the kids.

My youngest has a hoodie he loves, a fleece and a couple of sweatshirt. Plus some nice ones that wouldn't be missed if they weren't there. A bit of snow and we might persuade him that it's jacket weather.

Oldest has only recently starting wearing hoodies his preference is a big winter coat - worn in all 4 seasons. Only to be surgically removed in 20deg.

We put money in a savings account already.

Honestly I'd still say cut back spending and up what goes in the savings pot.

Who is really benefiting from stuff going in the loft to later be given away? Or pulled out later in the year?

Little kids have tastes that change. What's to say what they want now is what they want in 6mths?

would you be asking the same question if it was your own Mum if you knew she could afford it

Yes. I told my mum to stop buying so much crap. I think this might be the year she finally listens.
I leave it to DH to tell MIL to cut back on the presents. He's not as direct and blunt as me so MIL will probably still buy mountains of stuff this year.

I’ve had Christmasses where my DD was totally overwhelmed with the number of presents in total and just started crying as a toddler