DD with granny all day without lunch

[VCO]

I am a mother of a 3 year old that since she started eating she's not the kind of toddler that will eat anywhere, at any time, any kind of food. Routine is the key to get her to have proper meals. She's quite good at nursery as she seats with her little mates and she follows their example. Today she spent the whole day with her granny. From previous experiences I decided to prepare a lunch box and snacks for the afternoon as I know she wouldn't bother cooking her a decent meal. Sure enough she came back at the end of the day with her lunch still in the bag, all the snacks were gone and a bag of sweets that her G bought were there, half gone. She texted saying she didn't touch her pasta (that just happens she didn't even bother warming it up and put it on a plate!) She said she can't force her to eat when I mentioned she should have fed her before leaving to the park as she likes to eat at the table and the food needed to be warmed up (basic I know... I wonder how she had two kids of her own!) Can't blame my daughter not feeling keen on eating cold pasta straight from a Tupperware! She had cucumber and biscottis her Granny said... She left at 11am coming home at 5pm! I am flabbergasted, DD was happy when she got home but starving! As a responsible adult, wouldn't u make sure your granddaughter would have more during the day rather than sweets and cucumber?! AIBU?

Why did she spent the whole day with her gran?

Don't leave her with her then.

My mum’s the same with my little guy. Always reports that ate loads of yoghurt...

So she offered her the food that you provided and your daughter didn’t want it. I wouldn’t heat up the pasta either? Cold pasta isn’t unusual, my kids have eaten it plenty. Your daughter was happy when she came home.

You know that your little girl isn't keen on eating out of routine but you expect her to eat out of routine? Okay then.

Best not send her to Granny's any more?

11-5 really isn't that long to go without, she had plenty of snacks to keep her going. As a once off I wouldn't be too bothered about it.

My mil let's my kids nap for hours when they're at hers. So I don't use her for childcare any more. I don't know if it's deliberate but it certainly worked 😂

My DS is similar OP, and same with drinks - you have to offer regularly. I sometimes think he was a camel in a past life. I can imagine this happening with him, so YANBU!

It's a bit annoying but I wouldn't be flabbergasted. But I would have expected you to tell her to warm up the pasta.

Missing a meal but eating her snacks and some sweets - not going to do her any harm! Unless she's with her gran several days a week this wouldn't bother me at all.

I can't imagine it did her any harm as a once-off.

TBH, I am a big fan of letting a child who doesn't want to eat, not eat. I wouldn't give the sweets, but I don't think forcing a child to eat is great. My generation were brought up with 'finish everything on your plate' and eating whether we were hungry or not, and it's not actually a great lesson.

I'd just shrug and remember cucumber is healthy enough, and she was hungry for her dinner, so there's no harm?

My DS is 3 and a fussy eater so will often go all day without eating. It's not ideal but it's hardly the end of the world. I would much prefer that the people taking care of DS respect my boundaries about not forcing him to eat and making a big deal out of it.

But of precious first born syndrome here. When you have two you'll just be happy they are safe and you have time to yourself!

Main thing is dd was happy after a day with granny. Could you send sandwiches next time?

It's hardly the end of the world is it? If I want my kids cared for exactly how I would do it then I would do it myself. When other people are doing the looking after you have to accept that sometimes they won't do it the way you would.

6 hours isn't the end of the world if she had snacks. If you've got yourself flabbergasted over it, I probably wouldn't let her go as long.

She was offered food. Not Granny’s fault she didn’t eat it. If she’s bad with meals when out of routine then it can’t be that surprising. And she’s 3 and she snacked. No big deal. What exactly do you think will happen? Feed her dinner, move on.

My kids were fussy too. That said i would have cried with joy if a grandparent had taken them at all. One day is fine, if she was hungry there were snacks available. Grannies have form for mucking up your routine, that’s normal.

My mum is like this.. sometimes she says "oh does he need a proper dinner, can't he just have a banana?" He's 6!

You are being ridiculous. Sorry. But Very PFB. Child offered food, didn’t want it. You could argue with granny that she needs to be stricter about trying to get the food into her.

ps. Children don’t need a plate and heating to eat. Nor do adults. Might be a bit nicer but your child would eat their sweets off a dirty floor if they wanted them.

So what? She was happy when she came home and was offered food but didn’t eat it. Sounds like she had a lovely day with her granny.

If you’re so adamant that she needs to stick to your stipulated routine and eat what you say, you’ll have to not let her have a day with her granny (or anyone else).

Or you could relax a bit and accept that some people do things differently to you and no-one died.

Free childcare great, never even ask what my mother has fed them. I doubt they will fade away for a day. I would have just emptied and washed out the box, and you wouldn't have been any the wiser. she's managed to raise children before without starving them maybe they had a greggs

What happens on the odd day with granny isn't going to wreck either her nutrition, or her habits when not chez DGM.

YABU. She had a day out and didn’t want the cold pasta. Big deal! Put a meal in a thermos if it’s that big a deal.

Oh dear, just don't leave her with her gran any more and problem solved.