To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

I think this is great as a guide. For ‘something they need’ my kids are getting microwaveable plush toys to warm their beds before bedtime. They’ll be thrilled with them, I won’t have to put the heating on, win win!

a huge part of the joy is the opening. They still get that!

What's wrong with it? Some posters really ae scraping the barrel of petty. What does it matter to you how other people do ..... anything? I very much doubt everyone makes all the decisions I do. If I want to spend money and time on thoughtful gifts for my family why do you care how I do it?

My kids enjoy it and don’t feel deprived. We probably spend a tiny fraction on Christmas presents that other people do. It used to be about avoiding consumerism but now we actually can’t afford to spend a lot. So I’m glad it’s their normal!

Obviously if it’s something they need, I would make it a nice version of that thing e.g if they need PJs I’d get them ones with a character that they like.

Better than being given a load of shit! In these tough times most of us would only too grateful for your list to be applied.

I got piles of presents at Christmas, I'm not spoiled or entitled. We knew we were fortunate.

Equally, I spend a lot of time and effort giving to others, and my DS is along for the ride. He gets a pile at Christmas because I like to do it. Same goes for the elf and Christmas Eve Box etc. It brings me joy. He's not spoiled or entitled and is a kind, generous little boy.

I've tried to do more intentional present buying this year but I wouldn't do the want, need, wear, read rule.

Wear and need are weird. I provide my kids clothes and what they need for everyday life, why would I give it them as a gift? Or expect grandparents and so on to do it? Get them what they want within reason and budget, and a few books. How much other crap is out there just because it rhymes? Something old, something new, something borrowed and something sparkly would be much more fun.

Ooo, thank you, OP, for reminding me about this rhyme; I am grateful to have some guidance now that I've begun Christmas shopping!

Explain why and what you do! I don’t use that but it’s a good range of stuff!!

i personally have just been part of what I think is joyless. Giving secret Santa online delivery straight to me no wrapping no seeing others open a present, yes I get something I want but bloody takes the joy out of it for me did it cus was asked - rather at least open together!!

Makes perfect sense to me. If they don't want or need something why would would you give it to them?

My two know that for three months before Christmas everything they need gets put away and wrapped up - so deodorant, socks, school stationery etc. It bulks out their stockings and gives them things to open, and makes the piles of presents look bigger and last longer! We sometimes wrap things in a way to disguise what it is, and have hours of fun guessing......

Obviously they have lots of surprises as well, and things they have asked for - but agree with PPs that filling the house with useless tat that they don't want is completely pointless. We're not saying you can't spoil them - depending on finances we all like to treat our DCs - but only with things that fit one of those categories.

if you think that giving your child 4 gifts at Christmas is joyless and makes you a miserable fucker, perhaps you should check your privilege, especially seeing as lots of people on MN are probably wondering how the hell they pay for Christmas presents this year.

and for those of you having problems with giving a child a present of something they need… do you lack imagination???

my child needs a new bike. So we’ll give him one at Christmas. What kid would think that was boring??
my other child has a scooter that is a three-wheeler plastic one which is too small and too slow (he can’t keep up with his friends when we go out) and his OT has told us a 2 wheeler where he has to actively balance would be better for him… So he is getting one. I promise you… he is not going to roll his eyes and say ‘borrrrrring’ on receiving it

we could have bought these back in September but well, Christmas wasn’t far and I don’t have any problem telling my kids to just suck it up because big presents come at Christmas or on birthdays.

i need new bras and knickers and if my husband deigns to buy me some sexy lingerie (and throw some basic cottons pants and a sloggi bra), I’d love that. Equally if he wants to buy me the new pair of trainers I need because my old ones are falling apart I would love that too because it’s something I hate spending money on.

Honestly MN pisses me off sometimes and this is the kind of stupid post that does it.

I know what you mean OP. It sounds a bit joyless when it’s put that way - too formulaic.

However, it’s probably a good guide for a lot of people who struggle with planning for this sort of thing. Half the time many of us probably do something like this automatically.

I don't understand your problem. Sounds very sensible and enjoyable to me.

Have you just been spending with reckless abandon up to this point?

Never said it was miserable or bad to just give 4 presents. I keep seeing the same "4 presents" comment I wrote but it's got added arms and legs on it now 😂.
If people are happy to stick with the concept in the OP that's fantastic, but don't know why my comment has been twisted so much. What with us all being able to give our own opinions and what not.

As someone who grew up in a very poor household where my single mother was only really able to get us things we needed as gifts, no. I don't think it's miserable. I think it's a great reminder for children that even having things they NEED is a gift. There are plenty of children in the world who would think that.
and books and clothes make great gifts even without this "rule", kids always want the trendy sneakers or the cool hoodie idk, and I looooved to read as a child so getting a book would definitely be a "something they want".

teaching children about reality and prwcticing gratitude might seem MISERABLE to you but those things are what will ensure they're not miserable for life, complaining about not having things they want and blaming everyone else for having to spend on things they need

The question OP is why does it bother you so much?
Ignore it. No one is forcing you to do anything.
It's just a nice simple way to actually think about what things to buy people rather than just going into a shop and buying random presents.

So for my kids, instead of buying them everything under the sun, I'll spend more on less items.
A nice jacket they've been looking at and need to replace an old tatty one.
A good book they haven't got round to picking up themselves.
A pair of trainers/boots they wouldn't be able to get (or justify the cost)
And something they want that isn't useful but just because they want it; last time it was a driving experience.

They will also get the standard terrys orange or to toblerone bar, pack of socks, etc etc. but they aren't the actually gifts, more the fillers that don't cost much.

So not joyless and actually they enjoyed the gifts massively. It's not about having a ridiculous amount of gifts to open. That's what leads to kids/adults having loads of unwanted Christmas presents.

It bothers me loads, I’m furious about it actually. My seething rage is evident in my posts.

@Pumperthepumper Wildly, profligately, without restraint. Thank goodness I now have a formula to help rein me in...

Something they need can be something like a new phone charger or a gel saddle seat for their bike. It doesn’t have to boring.

👏👏👏

Perhaps you don’t give a crap about people who can only afford a few gifts but your thread could be making people feel really bad. It should bother you if you have any human empathy. This is a particular tough year for some people. Honestly!!!

One of mine “needs” new earphones after breaking them so he’s getting a fancy, expensive pair. It’s a rough guide to help with ideas, not a cast iron rule. Mine needs boxers too but I’m not wrapping them up to go under the tree! 😂 Some people have zero imagination.

14 year old kid. I insist on buying some sort of reading material every birthday and Christmas, but does he read it, no. This might (or might not be the time I stop bothering) Luckily younger kid will read a bit so it will all get passed on.

Also, trainers and hoodies, general clothes, bedding etc carefully chosen rather than first thing you see because they need it, my kids have always been happy with that.

The trainers I guess. He needed new trainers, kids always do, and he got posh ones, lucky him!

The kid might nag me throughout the year about how they want the Spiderman toothbrush and I refuse to buy it because it's more expensive than a normal one so I can get it for Christmas. I've covered what they want and what they need there is writing on it so I covered something to read too, just need to get them something to wear now.