To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

I've always put in the stocking a lot of things they need:
New pants/socks, stationary for school, toothbrush-they've even had new school uniform.

When they got old enough, I sat them down one year and said to them that they had a choice. I could get them things like pants etc when they needed them and they could choose and come with me to get them, or I could continue and choose myself and put them in the stocking.
They all chose to have them in the stocking.

They're mid-late teens now and still would rather have them in the stocking.

It means that they look like they have loads in the stocking but a high proportion of the things they'd have anyway.

They like it.

Actually I'd have a minor preference for not as the wrapping takes ages 😁

I think its OK to get them something they need if it's new clothes /trainers but not sock and pants or new school shoes etc.

Personally it wouldn't be something I would do. Only four presents seems a bit crap but I do feel kids get way too much not only at Xmas but all year round. I'm guilty of it too. My parents growing up in the 50s only got 1 or 2 things. I did get a lot in the 80s/90s but not to the level that children get today, and I feel like I appreciated what I got and was more excited.

We probably as a society need to scale it back but admittedly I do spoil my nephews and my sister gets them an obscene amount too, my daughter is still too young.

In the stocking presumably, which is separate and meant for small presents like that.

I don’t find it depressing but surely most parents (bar those really hard up) give kids a mix of want/need gifts?
DC presents would follow that poem by accident but we add in a few extras. We are quite strict and rarely but toys etc other than Christmas and birthday so we are generous then. Probably end up with a stocking (usually socks and knickers then crayons, bath bombs etc) and then around 7/8 gifts each. They certainly aren’t spoilt but we do like to treat them at Christmas

Surely it depends how you interpret it? As a broad principle combined with stockings and family presents I do not see the issue.

For example my 5 year old has got:
Want: Large lego kit
Need: New bike
Wear: Spiderman onesie
Read: A set of his favourite books
Plus one extra surprise from me (remote controlled car), then family presents, and then a stocking from Father Christmas full of little gifts like fluffy socks, a playmobil carry case, a board game, joke box, slinky, LED scooter wheels, chocolates, more books, craft materials, a mini-microscope, more books, soft toy, snap bands, a science kit.

I hardly think he's being deprived. Or do you think that people who follow that principle don't do stockings, and forbid family and friends from giving any presents either?

Why don't you just do you and leave other people to it?

I get the sentiment but yeah. Joyless. Anything my kids need they get from me anyway. Not buying it for xmas. Xmas is for wishes, for treats, for things you wouldn’t normally get. So much slog and misery in life sometimes it’s a day where dreams are made and wises granted. Of excitement and wonder. A day to remember forever. A feeling to pull out of the memory bank when you are feeling shit later in life.
It’s not 4 presents - one of which is a book which doesn’t really interest them (not for lack of trying), one of which is clothes (only the teen appreciates clothes- not young kids!) and something else the ‘need?’ What’s that then? A tube of toothpaste or a toilet roll? 🤣

I actually think it’s a good guide for not buying loads of shite
but unfortunately for me I always read it in a fucky voice
sumTING they want
sumTING they need etc so when I see it written down it gives me the ick irrationally ,
a bit like those wedding poems

Why does excitement, wonder, dreams, memories, etc = big pile of presents, though?

I think it's really nice, it would only be joyless if you put no thought into the presents!

For my DS, a build your own robot kit, a bike. a superhero cape and a Dog Man box set would be absolutely perfect.

For my DD, a giant squishmallow, a tablet, a Gryffindor scarf and a Harry Potter box set.

They get absolutely loads of tat from their grandparents so their piles are always big. But even without the extra stuff I think they'd be very pleased with that haul. After the tenth present they seem to get a bit bored of unwrapping anyway, and don't play so nicely with the things they recevied.

When did op say she bought a big pile of presents?

I don't want to be that person but I feel like it's way more joyless to criticise peoples' methods of gift giving.

I don't do this btw, I tried one year but it didn't feel right. But I know people who want or need to limit how much they buy and I don't feel like a small or big pile of gifts makes or breaks Christmas

The rest of the year it means something else- a family outing somewhere exciting or a holiday or meeting with friends or family somewhere fun. But for Xmas day. Yes it’s presents and things my kids have been waiting for all year in some cases. We don’t buy things they want much through the year- certainly not the second half of the year. It’s birthdays and Xmas only. So my kids will say they would really like x and I sat out it on your Xmas list (even though it might be June)

I was replying to the post above mine which implied the 4 presents of the poem was not enough magic, wonder, etc.

@PurpleWisteria1 Haha, when I say “put it on your Christmas list” in June I mean “and then forget about it”

Oh trust me.. mine don’t forget 🤣🤣

PurpleWisteria didn't mention a big pile of presents either. They said getting pants for Christmas isn't magical.

OK. Have fun.

Have fun with your magical pants.

I don’t think it’s joyless, it’s a pretty good guide. I find I unconsciously stick to most of it every year.

So for my eldest this year it’ll be,

Want: Large lego kit, mini fridge with snacks.
Need: Name brand trainers.
Wear: Anime themed hoodies and t-shirts.
Read: Kindle and Amazon gift card.

I also add on ‘surprises’ to the list and keep these under £10, so he’s got a mandalorian hooded blanket, smellies, phone case, American sweet box, posca pens, s’mores kit and a chocolate lolly maker.

They all get loads of family presents, and then a stocking and a Christmas Eve box.

I find the list helps me stay on track and not go mad with loads of tatt and crap they’ll never pick up again.

You get something they need that’s nice though. My kids (they get much more than those 4 tbh) are getting tennis racquets from family members, they need those. I always give them socks with cute patterns, they always need socks so at Christmas Father Christmas gets them nice ones. I had thought maybe I should phase that out but my 4yo was talking about Christmas and how he’d get new clothes. Me:why would you get new clothes? We just sorted your drawers and you have lots of clothes! Him: but Father Christmas always brings us socks. Marvellous socks! (Sounds like an Enid blyton book but he really said marvellous 😆) so now of course I have to get him socks until he’s 40. It’s a shame Christmas isn’t at the start of a season though so you could get a nice coat etc.
Something to read is an absolute must.

The “something they need” bit is how I ended up getting items of school uniform/school shoes as birthday or Christmas presents more than once in my childhood.

The way I see it, if I child needs something, they need it. To try and dress it up as a present is pretty crappy.

Honestly why on earth do you care what people you don't know on the interweb do?!!

This thread is weird. Very weird.

I kind of add good for them toys/games eg they might not say please can we have carcassone for Christmas please please, but it’s these things that give them hours of play for years to come.

I remember as a student , returning after the Christmas break and telling my (wealthy ) flatmate I had been given a much needed and expensive reference book as a gift, which I was grateful for and happy with, and her "sympathy" in response "Oh, poor Floradora 😔"

Something.you need isn't pants, or toothpaste or a mop for the kitchen floor. It can be something that is needed but that is still not an everyday item. For example my child's something you need is an amp for his electric guitar.