To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

if a parent with not much cash wants to make their childs 'pile' of presents look bigger by including a couple of bits of stuff others would call school uniform (or supplies), then I don't see what is wrong with that.

Yes, but to the point - the idea of a child’s “pile” of presents is very odd to me. I find it hard to imagine, because my dc only get one present from us, one present from each other (I have two DCs), one present from their only grandparent. Similarly, I will get one present from my DH, one present from my DC, one present from my mum -and these tend to be token gifts, including probably what I now gather is a despised Bayliss and Harding gift set. Where have these images of “mountains of gifts” come from? I don’t know of any.

Yes, but to the point - the idea of a child’s “pile” of presents is very odd to me. I find it hard to imagine, because my dc only get one present from us, one present from each other (I have two DCs), one present from their only grandparent.

I wish this was more normalised! When we were very poor I was anxious about how it would be seen by other children at school if DS had only got one Lego set (his real present) and nothing else from me. So some new pyjamas that he needed anyway, some coloured pencils or a pack of felt tips or similar, and a book to read and keep, seemed like a great idea.

I totally agree. I'm surprised by how many people are quite dismissive of books. Encouraging and embracing a love for reading is one of the best things a parent can do for their child.

I personally don’t agree with it, but also, each to their own.
My DH was only ever given one thing he needed for Christmas, like school shoes or a calculator (!?) and maybe a selection box as his treat.
His mum fully admits it wasn’t a money thing, she believed children shouldn’t be spoiled.
But he had a childless uncle who used to buy him and his sister toys because he thought that kids are only kids for a while.
I din’t necessarily agree with buying your kids massive piles of toot just to give them something to open.
But the self righteous brigade who churn this little gem out every year really piss me off as well.

It’s a parental responsibility to provide your child with what they need. Fair enough if you can’t afford it, but if you can, then making your child happy is good too.

I agree. My kids have a lot of books and even though the youngest is just 1 he is totally into them. My 3yr old loves books!

We're doing this for our Ds who is 3 this Christmas but it's because he has a Dec birthday and is the only grandchildren on my side and the first one in 16 years on DH side so he ends up with, to put it bluntly, a shite ton of stuff he barely knows what to do with!

But obviously we make it as kid friendly as possible.. he loves books anyway so toys, books and then something to wear we've got him new character clothes which he needs due to a growth spurt but he'll also love wearing and something he needs is a new backpack and lunchbox to take to his new pre school in the new year. He gets anxious about nursery and we thought with starting somewhere new, something like that and bigging up 'it's your new big boy stuff for your cool new pre school' seeing us put his name on it etc might help him get excited/ used to the idea.

This.

Funny, my OH came from a "fill the room with presents" family, and I from a "few but special presents" family. When I spent my first Christmas with his family I can honestly say I felt embarrassed and dismayed at the volume. I didn't want half the stuff and felt embarrassed and ungrateful. There were ridiculous items like remote control insects (for adults), just bizarre.
He spent a Christmas with mine and we received 1 or 2 presents from my parents and he much preferred it.
His family still buy mountains of gifts and actually the run up to Christmas for them all is utterly joyless and just seems like an ordeal of spending spending spending and feeling obliged to buy and receive tonnes of unwanted crap.
I quite like the rhyme. I'm not a fan of excess or waste in general and find huge piles of presents quite vulgar (but don't care what others do as long as I don't have to be involved).
I'm perfectly happy to be considered miserable.

The more I read this the more I find some of the attitudes on here pretty abhorrent.

If you want your kids to swim around in a pile of presents at Christmas, that’s fine, it’s not for me but you do you; wanting to buy lots of presents for your kids doesn’t make you a bad person.

But doing that and looking down your nose at ‘only’ four presents and saying it’s sad or miserable or stingy, that is shitty person behaviour.

The choice isn't 4 presents or piles of plastic tat. The vast majority of people will fall somewhere in between. My kids probably get one main present, 5 or 6 smaller ones and then a stocking with things like sweets, stationery, hair accessories etc.

I don't like it- and I come from a family that loves books and is pretty open with Christmas requests and lists so things we read, want, need and often times will wear are covered, so the sentiment/gifting guidelines themselves aren't the issue.

I also don't disagree with the anti greed or anti waste principles it encourages - we try to be mindful and buy gifts we feel will be enjoyed for this reason. I also think it is good idea to set some limits financially, but the rhyme doesn't mean that some items can't be a bit more expensive so it doesn't suggest avarice. I think it's the rhyme itself that makes it seem prescriptive and a bit joyless! It also depends on the interpersonal skills of the person wielding it/sticking by it as to whether it comes across as gifting guidelines, especially with the cost of living crisis, or the war cry of an utter pedant regardless of circs.

My own personal irrational Christmas crusade is "mum to be" Christmas cards. They've always given me the heaves.

I agree that the rhyme is a bit twee but I like the idea as a guideline. I grew up making a list from the Argos catalogue but knowing that I’d get a couple of things from it, certainly not everything, and some of those things from grandparents and other family members. We always had plenty of gifts but I can only remember a few of them, whereas I have very happy memories of spending Christmas with my family. I can very clearly remember the excitement of feeling a full stocking at the end of my bed on Christmas morning but I have no idea what was in it most years! It might be because they’re very young still but my dds seem to get as much enjoyment out of unwrapping a present as seeing what’s inside so are more than happy to have clothes, pyjamas, crayons, hair accessories etc., all of which are things they need. They both also love books and will get some new ones for Christmas. I’m actually struggling this year as dd5 has only asked for a dino smasher egg and a poppet handbag. There’s nothing else she really wants and we’re already drowning in stuff (mostly passed on from kind family members and neighbours who’ve grown out of it) so I think she might get new pjs and a dressing gown that she needs but will also enjoy unwrapping. Dd1 has no idea what’s going on anyway. I’m asking grandparents to buy something small and contribute to tickets for Disneyland Paris for when we go in May.
I do think this approach also ties in with our own approach to ‘stuff’. I’m really not materialistic and much prefer experiences for myself. Dd5 rarely plays with everything she gets for Christmas or birthdays and she gets bought things regularly throughout the year so piles of presents would be very wasteful for us.

But....but......but

What about the Christmas Eve boxes?

Don't they have something you want (hot chocolate)

Something to wear (PJs)

Something to read (the same Christmas book as the previous 5 years)

Not sure about the something you need nobody needs a Christmas Eve box

So then you do it all again the next day?

Exactly this. We have so many toys already, I don't want the DCs getting piles of things for the sake of it. DC1 is almost 11 now and the things he 'wants' aren't cheap. A 'something to wear' present wouldn't be school shoes but he does want a Stranger Things hoodie. His 'need' this year (for keeping in touch when travelling to and from school) is a phone. He 'wants' various big Lego sets and we will get him one. DC2's 'want' this year is a bike. Not sure what's so miserable about any of those, plus lovely books always go down well. They have had years of getting numerous toys and we simply have plenty already.

Why is four presents joyless?
Why are books as presents joyless?
Really weird attitudes on this thread. I'd struggle to think of four presents to be fair as my dc are older and things are bought as and when needed thoughout the year. Thank god we're past the piles of plastic tat (not that I ever did piles anyway) cluttering up the living room. I think perhaps the pile of presents is a British/American thing - certainly I have not seen European friends go to such extremes, for them it is more about food, traditional festive activities and being with family.

I think it's great. It manages expectations, reigns in spending and discourages mindless consumerism.

This is it in a nutshell.

One year my DDs Christmas list was basically JUST books! Nothing else, just a list of books she wanted to read (a mixture of fiction and non fiction). That must have been a particularly joyless Christmas….. (especially since we added some chocolate and a gorgeous hat & scarf set).

Totally agree. It's embarrassing to receive cheap rubbish as a present. I would rather people didn't bother. It's joyless to be the recipient
Also bear in mind that some people actually do need things but can not afford to buy them

I think it sounds like the ideal Christmas gift selection 🤷‍♀️

Fucking hell. Speechless.

That's 4 items - some parents will struggle to afford one let alone 4 - and the one they can afford will probably end up being something they need. Joyless, maybe, but that's economic reality for many

I agree with this .

I totally agree with this too. I'm so glad my parents didn't spoil me. Quite rare nowadays.

Yes, I agree.