Accidentally found engagement ring

[lockdownbabyx]

I feel SO bad! Was looking for a pair of plain black socks in my partners sock drawer ( I prefer his 😂) and found an engagement ring in there. I was in complete shock. My sister called me about 2 mins after and I told her my discovery and she knew all about it as she has helped him pick it, plan it etc. i feel so so bad, I love surprises and now feel like I've ruined it for both of us. I wouldn't have expected it at all so it would have been a complete surprise too.
I'm not going to tell my partner I know, but I can't help but feel awful now 😔. I'm worried my reaction when the time comes will give it away and ruin his moment for him. Anyone else ever done this?

I like that idea!

Nooooo don't tell him. People have weird reactions with proposals so you can get away with acting. How disappointing to not knowing/seeing what he does.

Definitely do not tell him.

Ohhh I wouldn't tell him and ruin all his effort! He won't be that switched on and will just want the yes! Time to practice your best "that is brand new information" act!

Congratulations!

I'd tell him, I'm not good at lying and it would hurt to know that I'd be faking a reaction. If he finds out in the future he might be hurt to know it was a fake reaction. Alternatively, he may fully understand that you tried to protect his feelings and not burst his bubble x

Don't tell him. It will still be a surprise when he proposes because you don't know when or how he is going to do it so you won't have to pretend anything.

Why would you tell him?! Why spoil it for the both of you? I would have just put it back and not said a word to a soul.

Don’t tell him it’ll totally ruin his surprise. He’s put a lot of thought in by bringing your sister in and everything.
it’ll still be a beautiful moment when he proposes.
Im usually one for being honest but this is different.
Don't take it away from him.

Absolutely don’t tell him!! You don’t know when he’s planning on proposing. It might be tonight and it might be next year!
If you’re worried you won’t be able to be convincingly surprised, you can tell him, honestly, that you had a feeling he was going to propose soon.

Sorry but I’m picturing how funny it would be if you’d had a sneaky try on of the ring and couldn’t get it back off. Then hours later when he returns from work you’re sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle of cooking oil, a tub of butter and every other imaginable slippery substance you could find 😂

Would you like to get engaged, would you like to get married?

If yes, to all, would you enjoy a proposal? Or would you prefer to decide to get married together?

Would you like to have and wear an engagement ring as a public sign of this? Would you be wanting a wedding ring too? Would he wear an engagement ring? Would he wear a wedding ring?

if you want to get engaged, and married, to him, and would like a big proposal, and want to wear an engagement ring, and don’t mind that he won’t be wearing one, I would do nothing and let him do the proposal thing if that’s what you want.

If you don’t want to get engaged, or married, or don’t want to be proposed to or wear a ring as a public sign to a commitment he won’t share, then I would tell him.

if you want to get married but don’t want to wear a ring or you’d like it to be equal, I’d buy him a ring back so they when he brings out his you can bring out yours, for him. Then he can have a ring too and it would be fun.

Don't tell him. It'll still be a surprise if you don't know when he has planned to do it, enjoy the anticipation and the moment when it comes!

You can tell him afterwards that you found a "clue", but everything else can still be a surprise.

Thanks all! I never had any intention of telling him, I wouldn't want to ruin his moment. I don't know any other details so there still will be an element of surprise. Plus my acting skills aren't awful, il be able to pull it off I think lol.

As for the ring.. I'm very happy 😆 imagine if I wasn't!

As for his choice of hiding space.. he knows I steal his socks all the time! Aswell as put all of the clean washing away, silly man 😂

Agree . There’s no need to stage a theatrical shocked reaction. Just looking happy (and saying yes) is all genuine. No need for shaking and crying if it doesn’t feel natural 😬

I think I’d rather know actually. At least now you can plan something heartfelt to say in reply?
And you can make sure your nails look good.

Like others have said you don't know when or how he will propose, so that is the surprise! I already knew what my ring would be as it's my mother's, we'd talked about it so I knew it was on the cards.

I came home from work one day and he'd filled the living room with candles and was down on one knee - THAT was the surprise. You tell him now, you will piss on his chips, and he will feel deflated. He will also feel a lot of pressure to propose ASAP and may scrap whatever nice thing he had planned for you and just give you the ring then and there! So you'll not only have ruined his surprise, you'll have ruined your own proposal.

Tell him some time after if you must, and tell your sister not to blab to him either.

I already know what DH is getting me for Christmas, unfortunately I was checking our spending on the banking app and saw it. I won't be saying a word, especially since his present to me last year was delivered in a clear plastic bag dumped on the doorstep, and I got home before he did. He felt awful that I wouldn't get to open a surprise for Christmas and I don't want it repeated for the 2nd time in a row.

How exciting for you.

Just pretend you didn’t see it and keep it a surprise - you still don’t know when he will pop the question, so there is some element of surprise left.

I would definitely NOT tell him! Let the surprise happen! Your emotions will take over at the time

I was cleaning up at my boyfriends house and while I was tidying I saw a notepad with a to do list and it said buy engagement ring and had a tick next to it… I have never told him I saw that and it was still a surprise when he proposed so I say don’t tell him. Don’t ruin all the hard work he’s put into it, it will still be special

Awww don't tell him! I did this, I accidentally found the ring box when I was cleaning some stuff out of a gym bag to do washing. I felt bad, but kept quiet, it was a bit nerve wracking wondering when and waiting and trying to act normally at certain times when internally I was wondering.....is it going to be now?! BUT we have now been married for 13 years, he still doesn't know I found the ring before hand, he got to propose just the way he imagined and it was still every bit as exciting and lovely in the moment.

I knew a proposal was coming and it didn’t stop the moment being a total and utter surprise as in I wasn’t expecting it at that moment. If he’s planned how he will do it you haven’t ruined that! I wouldn’t say anything.

I'd not tell him but maybe fess up after the wedding 😉then it can just be a funny story.

Don’t tell him (at least not until after) and to be honest you’ll probably still feel a lot of genuine ‘in the moment’ emotion anyway and that won’t be fake.

You are going to have to do your best Phoebe Buffay impression "oh my god this is totally new information" when he asks 🤣🤣. You can practice your reaction, maybe drop to the floor and sob like Rylan did that time 🤣 (obviously don't tell him).

I did exactly the same thing OP! I only told one friend, and husband will never ever know. He is rubbish at putting together surprises and things and had gone to a whole load of effort (I found not just the ring, but a whole presentation thing) and would just be really deflated to find out that I'd had a heads-up. I went along with it all on the evening, and it isn't as though it wasn't a wonderful emotional thing nonetheless. I do sometimes wonder how it would have felt if it had been a surprise, but I'm a bit of a control freak and am not heartbroken to have known in advance.

My husband went to a lot of effort to surprise me with a birthday gift 10 years ago. I found out about it accidentally by reading something he had forgotten to put away.
I never told him and still haven't. His face when he 'surprised' me was amazing. To this day (around birthdays etc) he will talk about how he'll never be able to pull off a surprise like that again.
If you're able to see it through, I wouldn't tell him. A lot of the joy for him will be surprising you.

He has not asked you yet. You have only found intent!

Believe me, you will actually be shocked when he does.

He could still take it back, he could be hiding it for a friend etc (I know he is not but... you get my drift)