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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are we morally obliged to work ?

611 replies

Justthisonce12 · 17/11/2022 11:55

630,000 economically inactive people in the UK not claiming benefits. Early retiree’s I guess.

Hunt plans to tackle this and encourage work force participation to allow businesses to grow. ie cheap labour I presume ? But also preventing a brain drain.

Will be interesting to see how he plans to address this.

OP posts:
Schlaar · 18/11/2022 19:35

The decision shouldn’t be taken away from us via lack of affordable childcare and spaces, lack of breakfast or after school clubs etc.
No after school clubs at my kids school for KS1 pupils. There are KS2 clubs but not five days a week, so no use to working parents.

There is actually a breakfast club at my kids school but it’s full! So if I get a job tomorrow the childcare simply isn’t available. I asked if they intend to expand their capacity and they said no, I’ll have to wait till next September when the older children leave school. It’s just not helpful.

Topgub · 18/11/2022 19:36

Schlaar · 18/11/2022 19:29

We need to be asking why so many men are seemingly earning double what their female partners do before they even have kids and why in reality the stats don't back this up.
The PP who said “husbands earn more than their wives” is spot on. A man and woman of the same age in the same profession may earn roughly the same. But women tend to prefer men who are older and wealthier, while men prefer younger women and aren’t bothered about their salary.

Those two colleagues who earn the same - the man will probably marry an attractive woman who earns less while the woman will marry an older man who earns more. So when it comes to having kids both couples are in a situation where the woman earns less.

Jeeze.

That sounds like you're saying men just want an air head and women a meal ticket.

How depressing

Topgub · 18/11/2022 19:37

@Schlaar

Why do almost adults need childcare?

MarshaBradyo · 18/11/2022 19:38

Schlaar · 18/11/2022 19:29

We need to be asking why so many men are seemingly earning double what their female partners do before they even have kids and why in reality the stats don't back this up.
The PP who said “husbands earn more than their wives” is spot on. A man and woman of the same age in the same profession may earn roughly the same. But women tend to prefer men who are older and wealthier, while men prefer younger women and aren’t bothered about their salary.

Those two colleagues who earn the same - the man will probably marry an attractive woman who earns less while the woman will marry an older man who earns more. So when it comes to having kids both couples are in a situation where the woman earns less.

I wonder what proportion of women do as it’s not what I see around me, tg

Silvers11 · 18/11/2022 19:38

Freddosforall · 18/11/2022 18:56

I wonder who the people who strangely disappeared from the workforce after Brexit and used to do a lot of low paid work could be? It sure is a mystery.

LoL!! Absolute Mystery. I cannot imagine what could have happened 😁But you'll not get any Tory Minister admitting what happened to them!!

Battyfumworts · 18/11/2022 19:40

Topgub · 18/11/2022 19:18

@Battyfumworts

Your link doesn't say what the gap is for young women. Just that it incresssd to 33% by the time the child is12

The decision shouldn’t be taken away from us via lack of affordable childcare and spaces, lack of breakfast or after school clubs etc.

Yes, I agree. However men need to step and do more and stop falling back on the rubbish excuse they earn more

I’m sure that figure is hidden away in some figure somewhere

It does say 18% on average so that isn’t mothers alone

The WEF state that the motherhood penalty makes up 80% of the gender pay gap.

I def agree with that, if you can contribute to making them, you can also have a hand in raising them. And maybe stand up for the women in their lives when it does come to the workplace/government/MIL or whoever else doesn’t value or is threatened by female input in society

Battyfumworts · 18/11/2022 19:45

Schlaar · 18/11/2022 19:35

The decision shouldn’t be taken away from us via lack of affordable childcare and spaces, lack of breakfast or after school clubs etc.
No after school clubs at my kids school for KS1 pupils. There are KS2 clubs but not five days a week, so no use to working parents.

There is actually a breakfast club at my kids school but it’s full! So if I get a job tomorrow the childcare simply isn’t available. I asked if they intend to expand their capacity and they said no, I’ll have to wait till next September when the older children leave school. It’s just not helpful.

Do you live in a rural area by any chance? I’m becoming convinced that schools in these areas thinks that most mums are SAHMs by choice and have enough money in the bank to not be bothered by any of it.

venus7 · 18/11/2022 19:59

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/11/2022 12:05

I think we’re morally obliged to provide for ourselves financially if we can. I think we have a moral obligation, if we expect to benefit from the NHS, the education system, and the welfare state generally, to contribute via taxation if we can or via other methods if we cannot.

I think there are a lot of early retirees who think or feel as though they’ve earned their keep and thus the right to sit back and claim their pension, when the reality is that the tax and NI they paid during their lifetimes didn’t even cover the services they and their family used, let alone decades of a state pension. Which isn’t an attitude I’ve much time for.

And those who didn't use much in the way of serviced, no family using services, and certainly won't have decades of pension?

venus7 · 18/11/2022 20:00

venus7 · 18/11/2022 19:59

And those who didn't use much in the way of serviced, no family using services, and certainly won't have decades of pension?

Services, not serviced.

Schlaar · 18/11/2022 20:18

Battyfumworts · 18/11/2022 19:45

Do you live in a rural area by any chance? I’m becoming convinced that schools in these areas thinks that most mums are SAHMs by choice and have enough money in the bank to not be bothered by any of it.

Not exactly rural but it’s a village school. Nearly all the kids get picked up by grandparents. I don’t have that luxury unfortunately. I’ve been looking out for childminders at the gate (so I can ask them to take my child too) but there are none who pick up from there. It’s 98% grandparents and a few SAHMs.

DrFoxtrot · 18/11/2022 20:28

All the PP saying they don't work, don't want to ever get back into work, don't use taxpayer funded services (Confused) - let's hope that enough of us carry on to keep the country going, eh? Keep contributing so that there's money for those who need benefits and the essential services.

the80sweregreat · 18/11/2022 20:38

Dh is still working , but after 44 years plus his fed up with the grind
All I hear at work are people planning their escapes!
When employers treat you as a number, no wonder people just want out

Battyfumworts · 18/11/2022 20:41

Schlaar · 18/11/2022 20:18

Not exactly rural but it’s a village school. Nearly all the kids get picked up by grandparents. I don’t have that luxury unfortunately. I’ve been looking out for childminders at the gate (so I can ask them to take my child too) but there are none who pick up from there. It’s 98% grandparents and a few SAHMs.

Very familiar, I also don’t have that luxury but WFH now, the school run easily takes 2 hrs out of my day.

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 18/11/2022 20:44

User98866 · 17/11/2022 12:03

It’s almost like they need a large influx of working aged people Hmm

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

NCFT0922 · 18/11/2022 20:47

DrFoxtrot · 18/11/2022 20:28

All the PP saying they don't work, don't want to ever get back into work, don't use taxpayer funded services (Confused) - let's hope that enough of us carry on to keep the country going, eh? Keep contributing so that there's money for those who need benefits and the essential services.

A lot of the SAHMs mum I know have husbands who pay more in income tax than a lot of 2 parent working families earn in a year. So yeah, should be covered.

ExhaustedFlamingo · 18/11/2022 20:48

This is an interesting post as it’s a conversation we’ve been having.

I'm self-employed and I work F/T. Our circumstances are about to change where our outgoings will shrink considerably.

DP is currently off work sick - probably won’t be well enough to return til January. Currently the financial burden on me is significant but when we move and it changes, life will be easier financially.

I enjoy working. I enjoy what I do and as I’m self employed I have both flexibility and the ability to earn more if needed.

dP hates working. He’s never found a job that he loves. He regularly gets ill and struggles with chronic, low-grade symptoms that make his life miserable. He’s grumpy, snappy and constantly tired, plus he’s uninterested/unengaged in household stuff that needs sorting. I literally do everything.

When he’s off sick, even though he’s unwell he’s so much nicer to be around! And he takes a proper interest in the house/things that need to be done.

By his own admission he’s a bit of a lazy git, and I’m the opposite (I have adhd so I don’t stop!). But as a package, our lives are just more enjoyable when he’s not at work.

We are considering if he could work part-time, maybe 2-3 days a week. It would be a radical change but he’s not a piss-taker - he’s always worked and paid more than his share financially.

We both just think life is too short to spend it being miserable if you don’t have to be.

Bunty1958 · 18/11/2022 20:50

I am an ex 'work coach'. Thankfully. Never had such a depressing job in my life. Work coaches are not given the time to give claimants the help they need and deserve. Many appointment slots are for just 5 minutes.
I left 4 years ago so appreciate my knowledge may be somewhat out of date. Our 'targets' included placing into work single parents -always seemed to be the mothers- or those with mental health issues.
Very basic training was provided about health conditions but certainly not sufficient to be of much assistance. Skills and experience are required to fully assess the employment potential of the mentally ill. And indeed to assess those who in my experience do exploit the mental health card.
Much was made of the support available to aid lone parents into work. In reality a 'better off in work' calculation is done by a work coach but does not take into account any extra costs working involves. Financial help with childcare is available but not the full cost and normally the lone parent has to pay the first fees upfront which can be unaffordable.
Most current job vacancies require flexibility with shifts. Nurseries and childminders are usually open 7am till 6pm Monday to Friday.
So many job opportunities effectively closed to lone parents.
I could go on but don't want to bore anyone anymore. BTW I'm one of the 600,000 early retirees who doesn't claim any benefits

Zebedee999 · 18/11/2022 20:52

WatchoRulo · 17/11/2022 12:05

I have had to turn off the radio so I stop shouting at the cunt - considering the utter drivel and lies he's spouting it's a wonder the ground doesn't open up and swallow him. The sheer insult to all our intelligence is breathtaking.

Jeez with your foul language I so hope you are not a parent.

AnnieSnap · 18/11/2022 22:27

Zebedee999 · 18/11/2022 20:52

Jeez with your foul language I so hope you are not a parent.

Haven’t you heard of ‘Tory Tourettes’. Those who are outraged at the corruption and gross lack of compassion at this shower of bastards, have acquired it. If you are offended by colourful language, Mumsnet may not be the place for you!

fetchacloth · 18/11/2022 22:42

the80sweregreat · 18/11/2022 20:38

Dh is still working , but after 44 years plus his fed up with the grind
All I hear at work are people planning their escapes!
When employers treat you as a number, no wonder people just want out

This definitely.

DuchessDandelion · 18/11/2022 22:45

healthadvice123 · 17/11/2022 13:07

@DuchessDandelion 600000 with potentially families so the effect is on more than just those targeted and maybe changes that whole families prospect
You can't always just tax the companies and never address anything else as well
It takes looking at everything not just doing some things
Plus tax companies too much they leave for overseas its a balance

I didnt say the answer is to only increase taxation of wealth and high net worth of individuals and companies, though.

I'll add to it further though by saying stronger systems to provide care and support to those who need it (living with disabilities and carers) would also make a big difference.

It's not rocket science to recognise that you need to address the problems which prevent people within this demographic from working in order to get them working more. Most people I know who don't work full time would love to, but it's just not possible.

And a larger cultural shift within businesses re flexibility in employment contracts needs to happen as well.

blueglass · 19/11/2022 00:03

"men need to step and do more and stop falling back on the rubbish excuse they earn more"

Eh? But what if they genuinely do earn a lot more? It happens you know. Quite a lot.

N1no · 19/11/2022 00:08

Schlaar · 17/11/2022 12:05

I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of them are SAHMs whose partner earns too much for them to be entitled to claim benefits, but childcare costs too much for them to be able to work.

You’ve hit the nail on it’s head!
The childcare system encourages the lower earner to give up work, miss out on career progression, pension and security in case of divorce. Here is your once in a lifetime opportunity Mr Hunt!! And while you are at it £20 something a week should become about £50 to make it comparable to other developed nations and SMP should be 90% of the salary.

JubileeQueen123 · 19/11/2022 00:35

Not all retires or carers, some are young people (16-24).
The number of young people in employment fell by 13,000 in the quarter to July-September 2022 but increased by 81,000 from the previous year to 3.69 million.
The number who are economically inactive (not in or looking for work) increased by 59,000 from the previous quarter and increased by 22,000 from the year before to 2.75 million. 77% of the young people who are economically inactive are in full-time education.
The inactivity rate for young people is 40.2%, up from 39.4% in the previous quarter.
commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn05871/

Liebig · 19/11/2022 00:57

AnnieSnap · 18/11/2022 18:31

Those services are paid for through council tax 🙄

Yeah, so, like, a tax then, right? Kinda like a thing you own into for the communal good.