Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

When I was a waitress, many years ago, it was routine to clear up floor mess as well as clean tables. Although, interestingly, very few mums with dc were customers. If I were staff I would think you had enough to do without clearing the floor.

This depends on the age though, under 18 months or so (even up to 2) it can be incredibly difficult to find something appropriate for lunch from a bog standard coffee shop.
Even if they didn’t have a baby with them who had outside snacks they would still be entitled to sit there and have a drink, just as someone having a glass of wine in a pub isn’t less entitled to their table because you might order a meal.

Dirty tables have some strange allure for people who will actively choose to sit there, especially when there's other clear tables around

That's generally because they have the best position. Dirty table by the window or a clean one by the lavatories?

Dirty one every time.

It's not though. When I worked in a cafe food got on the floor all the time from kids and adults alike. People drop things, drag leaves in on their shoes etc. it's normal mess.

I will always clear up food that has fallen on the floor, like bigger chunk, just as I would in my own home.

Of course you clean up the mess on the floor that your baby has made, it's just a given.

I do think that that if they're advertising themselves as family friendly AND making a good was of cash out of your group regularly, then they should clean up floor crumbs themselves.

If your group are leaving a decent area of the cafe in utter disarray once a week then that's out of order but a few bits of food under a high chair is in no way excessive.

Cafe workers should be on fairly high alert for spills and droppages anyway. No need to make it more of a big deal because it's a kittle one that's dropped them.

So you offer to clean in other cafes? But the one who asks you to clean, you have a problem with?

I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

Why didn't you offer to clean up on this occasion, if it's something you usually do?

Why wouldn't you clear up afterwards. You'd clean it up at home anyway

If it required a dustpan and broom to sweep up, as opposed to big chunks that you can grab with your hands or a napkin, I say the owner was being unreasonable.

Yes I clear up mess. Not to the point that the table/floor is gleaming and requires no further attention.

I always wiped down the high chair ready for the next person and picked up any large bits on the floor, but probably wouldn’t expect to be sweeping the floor of crumbs.

I always cleared the biggest bits with a serviette and wiped table and high chairs with baby wipes
They're paid to wait on tables, not clean up as well
I guess it's a bit off just to hand the dustpan and brush to you, but you're regular customers who always leave a mess
It's common courtesy IMO

@CourdroySlacks there also used to be a time when cafes and coffee shops were for working men and not for women. When tea shops weren't for the lower classes... things move on.

If it's just a few bits under the highchair then what's the issue with you cleaning it up, it'll take seconds.

I've always made an effort to clean up after my children when they were little, which has always been appreciated by cafes, even if they end up saying "don't be silly, leave it!" It's the intent that's important I think.

I manage a coffee shop, I believe the official rule is to apologise and ask for a dustpan and brush, you’ll then be told not to worry and it’s no problem.
To walk out without an acknowledgment to the shit tip of a mess is what is rude and probably what tipped the staff over the edge enough to mention it.

It's not a "public place", they're usually private premises, that no one has any "right" to be in. Who they owners/managers want in their premises is up to them, no one else.

But why can't people just wait a couple of minutes for it to be cleared, wiped and reset instead of sitting down amongst it and then start carrying on because it's dirty?!

You can't always get to a table the millisecond someone leaves and you have to sometimes make a couple of trips with plates and cups etc to clear it because unfortunately, waiting staff only have two hands and can only carry so much at a time - I leave the spray and cloth on the table to indicate it's in the process of being cleaned and people will move everything to the end of the table, sit themselves down and then start moaning because it's dirty - yes I know, that's why there's a bloody spray bottle and a cloth there to clean it!

You choose to sit at a dirty table because it's got the best view or whatever then at least give someone time to clean it.

Yeah....you should have offered if it was a mess - I'm presuming it wasn't just a few crumbs. It may be that as a group you are there for a long time, and not ordering that much, plus making a lot of noise and leaving a mess of kids food. A smile and an apology goes a long way. I suspect I was guilty of the same when DD was a baby...now I steer clear of the cafes with lots of Mums...to avoid the noise and mess!

Went out for meal recently to a fairly expensive pub recently and there was a family with 5yr and two toddlers . The parents were on their phones,ignoring the absolute chaos the toddlers were causing and the 5 yr old was trying to cover the mess on floor with paper menus and napkins ! I felt so sorry for the little girl !
It was absolutely disgusting. I was about to go over and say something too them but they got up to leave and , I thought they would offer to clean up on their way out but nooo they paid and were off in their 4x4 without giving a toss !
I spoke to the waitress who was beside herself and she said that the table would have to be closed until the carpet could be cleaned after pub shut .
Bloody awful ,selfish ,entitled behaviour…expect the nanny normally cleans up at home .
The pub said they have taken note of their phone number and will ban them .
So yes I have always cleared up behind my children or at least offered .

I always clean up after my child.

Nothing worse than the absolute filth of a table recently vacated by a group of mums with babies.

I know it's sometimes a case of having to leave quickly, but there's no reason you can't preempt and tidy as you go.

I do think this comes down to simply how you’ve been raised.

If you’ve been raised to be respectful of others, lack entitlement, see it’s additional mess that is above and beyond that of a normal customer, then you take the 20 seconds it take to wipe and gather it in a baby wipe.

If you haven’t, you don’t.

There’s also this.

Before reading this thread, I had no idea customers were allowed to bring food from home and eat it in a cafe…