Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

If the babies are young are they even eating the cafe food or is it just the mums (and they are bringing in pre-prepared food for their babies)? In which case walking out and leaving a big mess on the floor of food the cafe didnt supply is quite cheaky. I would be fed up of you if I was the cafe owner. If they are busy at lunch time and cant get to work cleaning up your mess straight away it is going to put other customers off. Even if the cafe supplied the baby food it is still good manners regardless to try and clear up after yourselves. Anything beyond the standard amount of mess that customers would leave (ie a few crumbs and used serviettes on the table) ought to be tackled by you and your mum friends as a matter of courtesy to the staff and other guests in the restaurant. I can certainly remember picking up food from the floor and wiping down the table when I took my children to cafes as babies as I would be embarrassed to just walk off and leave the mess and wanted to come back to the cafe again!

I'm often surprised at the state people leave tables in. Dirty tissues, banana peels etc. There are bins in our local sports centre cafe and mums will routinely walk off leaving dirty wipes and tissues for the cafe staff to clear up. It shows a distinct lack of respect for service staff.

I was clearly referring to posts about customers who bring a packed lunch / snacks for themselves or for children. There was one post about a woman who brought tea in a flask to a cafe. I’m aware young babies need food that most cafes do not sell. Try reading the rest of the thread instead of looking for something to be offended by. 😒

Why is a mother and 1 or 2 kids not a family? Why does there have to be kids of varying ages?

What a bizarre thing to nitpick on.

Having worked as a waitress many moons ago, the mess mums and babies made disgusted me. Tables covered with crap, food stomped into the floors, dirty nappies being changed on the table (!)… just appalling. I was the poor sod on minimum wage cleaning it up when they waltzed out with “see you next week”.

I think they are telling you that they don't want you in there each week!

Think they're telling you their cafe is not a creche.

Nothing worse than going into a cafe for a quiet cuppa than to be accosted by a bunch of babies and toddlers.

I would leave straight away. Maybe you are taking custom away from them?

Ooo difficult one! I have/had a screamer too so I feel your pain. He's 14 months now and is obviously eating solid food, he makes a hell of a mess!! I always tidy up but I can understand if you were on your own, baby screaming, people probably staring - you're probably just looking to get out of there. I think there's some relevance to whether or not the food was bought there or brought from home too.

Depends how much mess. Some small crumbs, no. Proper chunks of food etc or an absolutely horrendous mess of crumbs then yes. If I couldn't do the latter without a dustpan and brush I'd ask for one and have done a few times with my kids. Both of our kids we've given them proper solid food from the get go of teething, we've not eaten out much with either as babies, but when we've had we do tidy up after ourselves and this includes a full wipe down of the high chair which I do with my own wipes. Can't stand going to put my baby in a manky high chair, we always clean up after ours.

I think it’s disgusting and yes it should be cleaned up to the best of your abilities. I have a DS aged 3 and I clean up after him and always have. Not so it’s gleaming, but just so it doesn’t look like carnage.

soft plays are the worst for it. Trampled crisps and chips all over the floor.

Another one agreeing with @weathervane1

frankly , if it were me, I’d be mortified. But I never did leave mess of food on the floors when I went out with my children.

Leaving food mess on the floor does not mean family friendly to me.

Encouraging families, foods suitable for children, changing area or family room, high chairs, maybe a cover outside for parking prams etc. those are the things that mean family friendly to me. Not feeling entitled to leave a mess on the floor though.

I used to put one of those huge muslins underneath the high chair and then just scoop it up with all the mess and put it in a nappy bag. Or just pick up the bits or ask for a dustpan and brush. I’ve never just left the food on the floor. But then again I would expect better customer service than that- especially if the food the baby has dropped was bought from the venue.

I haven’t seen a single post saying someone brought a flask of tea into a cafe and or a packed lunch for an adult. Every single post I have seen is talking about children with regards to food.

I always cleaned up. It's a health and safety thing. If it get's trodden on they can slip then they put a compo claim in.

So true, my late OH used to refer to the Costa Wagon Train of buggies blocking the place, Wagon Train will only be understood by MNers as old as me, hint, it was in black and white!

I worked for years as a waitress/host during university and mother and baby groups were the bane of my and colleagues existence. They would take over the entire cafe/restaurant, would sit on a coffee for hours, wouldn’t tip and then to top it off would leave the most disgusting messes behind for us to clean, chewed and spat out food, liquids, ooze, dirty napkins, wet ripped up napkins/menus. Absolutely rank and then we were left to clean it up once they left.

The entitlement of some of the posters here highlights some of the nightmare customers we had to deal with. Anything more than the normal few crumbs left behind the customer should clean up themselves, I always clean up after myself if I make a spill or drop food.

My youngest brother is a good decade younger than me, and I used to occasionally join mum with her weekend baby group, she always cleaned up after my brother and requested a dustpan and brush unasked to clean up afterwards.

The staff are servers, not cleaners. Especially post covid/Brexit when staff are hard to come by, staff are overworked and exhausted and don’t have time to clean up after your little darlings.

Yep agree on that. Babies are fine. Once kids are on solid food though I think it's cheeky. Maybe a small snack to tide them through the wait but not a whole meal. The kids I am talking about in my example ranged from 2-10 probably. The cafe does loads of child friendly food. There's a kids hot food menu and one of those sections where kids pick a combo of 5 things in a little paper box and it's a good selection.

Your title is disingenous. They didn't ask you to clean up afteryourself. They asked you to pick up after your baby when you had allowed them to throw shit all over the floor. Big difference. Your group sounds like a nightmare.

Is the cafe manger the owner? The brush and pan is overkill but yes, I'll always clean as much as I can after the kids have made a mess. Mind you, plenty of adults make as much a mess imo

I always clean up if my grandkids make a mess when we are eating out. I dont know why you think you shouldnt.

Surely any child post weaning would be ok with a cheese sandwich or a piece of toast - something pretty much all cafes can produce fairly easily.

Sorry, meant to quote luxxlisbon - I agree with weepingwillows.

If you’ve left food all over the floor, whether a baby or not, you should pick it up. Tables are wiped between customers and that’s it.

It’s difficult to say who was being rude or unreasonable since I wasn’t there. I always find myself cleaning up in cafes before I even sit down because I have a child with food allergies. I appreciate it when people clear up their food in any public space as it could be dangerous for my child.

Rude asf. I always without fail pick up after my baby with wet wipes and pretty regularly the waiter will pop up and tell me not to worry. I do it anyway since it takes two seconds and I think its polite. But if they'd handed me a dust pan and brush or said anything I'd laugh in their face and not leave a tip either. I've been a waitress and I'd never behave like that. But some people aren't very good at hospitality roles.

I think it's unusual to be asked to clean up. But if my baby left a mess I would make an effort to pick up after them. If cleaning products were required I would draw the staff's attention to it and apologise.

I also think it's unreasonable to bring a baby into a cafe and give them a proper meal, in a high chair, unless the food is purchased from said cafe, and I wonder if that's what is actually going on here. If it's just a few snacks sat on your lap to keep them occupied while you eat/have coffee that's different.

Maybe when the cafe said they wanted mum and baby groups they were envisaging little babies who were breast/bottle fed.