Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

But if you were idly scanning a cafe looking for someone to judge, you'd judge me and my kids and their little tupperware containers.

I have a toddler and a 6 month old weaning baby, and we visit a cafe attached to the building where we do baby and toddler group twice a week.
The amount of people with toddlers and weaning babies who leave the tables covered in food, crumbs, wet wipes, empty baby pouches, and spilt food all over the floor is honestly disgusting! The girls who work in the cafe aren't paid to clean up after parents who refuse to, they're there to serve customers.
They now have a sign asking people to ask for a dustpan and brush if there is mess so the cafe is clean and tidy for all customers, but I'm yet to see anyone acknowledge it.
I clean up after both my DDs, it's not hard, I do the same at home after meals, why would a cafe be any different?

Yanbu I would be leaving a bad review, honestly that's shocking from the cafe!
I always pick the bits up off the floor and if its been a big mess and asked for a dustpan and brush ive been told not to worry about it. It's awful customer service and I'd leave the review and not return there

@Dogtooth You thought you could escape the loneliness and drudgery by leaving the house to go to a cafe, but you can't!

With the number of threads ranting about mums recently it feels exactly like that 😂

It's interesting because where I live an artisan cafe started out which turned in a very family friendly chain of cafes once the owners had DC with their DH's. They pride themselves on being family but equally know that families without kids are also their customers, they started out in a pub apparently and then as a station cafe.

On a Saturday morning you primed yourself to go in there if you didn't have DC because you knew the amount of mess, noise etc - which could be there, not all the time but some of the time.

Funnily enough, last few times I've been to their main cafe, I haven't noticed lots of parents with kids.

They have a cafe in a playpark and 2 others (probably more) in large parks - near play areas - with outside seating etc and they also hold events, but I don't think they'd love mess/parents not clearing up after themselves if it's excess mess etc. Usual child/baby mess, the odd spill, of course staff will help out where they can.

The vast majority of parents I know are considerate and don't let their kids/babies smear food or make excess mess, and they help clear it up if it's excess spillage. I think this is reasonable. There's a reason why some cafes after lockdown have remained as 'takeaway' or less seating space - not just because of babies, but there is a lot involved in looking after a space and catering for a variety of customers, including e.g. disabled in wheelchair customers.

I went to clear up a table recently with two highchairs.

I di get the dustpan and brush, don't mind that little children drop food

What I find revolting is the tearing up of paper and then throwing it on the floor, this seems unnecessary, why would you let your dc do that ? they take the children menu and tear it up, get it wet with fizzy pop and drop all over the floor.

Even the amount of chocolate ice cream inside and outside the highchair doesn't bother me - and there was masses - probably more than was in the bowl to start with

I always clean up after myself in a cafe. Leaving food on the floor is a bit gross.

@Wnikat if they're leaving a massive amount of food on the floor then they're ordering food

I think you and I are reading a different thread... and I think OP makes more mess than she's letting on.

I'd be mortified if I dropped food and just left it there (excess too) for staff to clean up. The odd spillage and crumbs is fine, not lots of food your baby/young child has dropped.

This thread is an example of the sheer entitled-ness of certain parents with young children/babies towards cafe owners/about their mess.

@goodmorningsunny

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

A group of mothers with prams and toddlers isn't a "family".

A family is 1/2 parents with typically 1/2/3 children of varying ages.

I think people are missing the point that OP said her baby was overtired and crying as she packed up. That little egg timer of other people's tolerance was already ticking and OP was probably getting stressed and wanted to get out for her baby's sake and other people's sake.

To then be presented with a dustpan and brush, so you have to leave your baby sitting there crying for a bit longer while other people in the cafe watch you clean up, is humiliating and rude.

It's not ideal to leave mess behind but it's not right to humiliate customers either. Sometimes with a baby there is no right thing to do, you just have to make a decision and hope for the best. Arguably, getting a crying baby out of there is more polite to other customers than scrabbling around to clean the floor.

I can't believe most cafe owners would present a dustpan and brush to someone with a crying baby and think that was a good way to treat a customer.

People leave a mess in loads of ways - do they check for skids after customers use the loo? See if adults have spilled drink on the table? Check outside tables to see if people are using ashtrays correctly? Nope, it's picking on mothers with babies because people love to do that and feel powerful about it.

I disgree regarding families.

I frequently see small family groups - Gran/Mum/kids - and really enjoy watching the dynamic of such groups (mega-people watcher here!)

I'd much prefer to visit a cafe with a few such small family groups as opposed to a 'gang' of mummies who bring their own food, have crying competitions between their offspring and dominate the entire place with their loudness, buggies and mess.

I vote with my feet and would avoid the cafe described in the OP when the OPs gang is there, and I'd be completely unhappy if I were there (with anyone) enjoying a coffee etc. when they descended, just I would be if a gang of teenagers or loud, leery men appeared and dominated the space.

I can’t imagine anyone having a problem with this?! You’re waiting for your child’s food which you’ve ordered from the cafe, and the child is hungry in the meantime so needs a snack while you wait. I see no issue here.

Clean up after yourselves, or better still have your get togethers in each other’s houses. Sick to death of these bloody baby groups in cafes.
They treat them like crèches, completely oblivious to other customers!
I’d ban them if I had my way.

I used to put a napkin or a muslin in the floor to catch the worst of the mess. Easy enough to scoop up as you leave.

If I saw somebody being handed a dustpan & brush I would assume that they'd left it in a state before and staff were fed up with them
There's no hatred against children just against inconsiderate, lazy intitled parents . They are bringing it on themselves Leave somewhere as you'd expect to find it

So cleaning up a mess that their own child has made is humiliating for a customer, but being expected to clean a big mess made from food not bought at the premises isn't humiliating for the staff?

You didn't read this post from the OP:

I always buy food from the cafe because it always ends up being that my DD isn't interested in what I bring for her and always wants what I'm eating, but to be fair some of us do bring our own baby friendly foods. That is a good point, I suppose if it isn't cafe mess, if money hasn't been put through the till for that mess, it is annoying.

She admitted that most of the mess isn't from food they bought.

I mean why on earth would the cafe want them to come back?

Maybe she doesn't want a 'screaming overtired baby' in her cafe? Are you putting off the other customers? How long was the baby screaming for?

Maybe that, coupled with the mess you make, is too much for her?

This. See it all the time. Mum buys a small coffee then gets a full on picnic out for the kids to eat / make a mess with.

Since baby led weaning became a thing more and more babies are making a 'mess' in cafes and restaurants. I tend to use a bibado bib whilst out as I find it catches everything. My 1 year old is mostly spoon fed but she likes to try whatever we eat so I do pull out the big bib. I give the highchair a wipe before and after we use it. If there is bits on the floor I will pick them up or ask for a dustpan if there is lots.

I can understand they were probably annoyed but what's the point in asking you when baby is so unsettled. If anything that would annoy other guests. If anything they could ask as they take your order and at that point you could decide of you wanted to eat with them.

Do you left half chewed food on the floor that you didn't even buy at the cafe and got up to leave ? I'd have given you a dustpan too. Overtired child or not

*apologies for the typos but you get the gist.

I always clean up. Maybe not every last crumb, but the high chair if any and visible bits of food that have hit the floor. I think this demographic has a bad rep in hospitality and I'm trying my best to improve it! I tend to over-order for myself if I am bringing in a puree or whatever for the baby (ie if there's nothing on the menu for them).

Further to my other response on here I think the only time I have ever made a customer clear up themselves was when a child had been sick over one of the squashy leather armchairs. I genuinely couldn’t do it. I gave them everything they needed, soapy water, cloths, blue roll, bags, even a spare tshirt for the child to wear! Thankfully there was two adults and it was the end of the day with only one other customer!