Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

So basically you're all taking the piss

Whenever I went out with DC or DGC we would clean up after them

This.

My son often makes a huge mess but I grab some napkins and scoop up the food from the floor with that once he’s done eating. Often I’m told that I don’t need to but it’s beyond a normal mess and I don’t expect the staff to have to deal with my child’s mess. Takes me all of 30 seconds. So yes, I think YABU.

They could well be family friendly, but that doesn’t mean they have to put up with people that bring their kids food and leave a big mess behind. By making the points they did, asking your friend to clean up and then (I can’t believe you still left food on the floor) handing you the dustpan, they’re probably sick of your group taking the piss. The fact you left your mess on the floor after your friend had been asked is very telling.

I worked in cafes and pubs part time when I was at college/uni and we’d never have give a customer a dustpan and brush, that was our job. We appreciated people leaving the table tidyish.

Now my son works part time in a coffee shop and it’s the same. Staff sweep the floors, not customers.

If I was handed a dustpan and brush, I wouldn’t be offended, but I’d be a bit shocked. I’ve never seen customers being given one. I have always tidied up our table and wiped high chairs over when the kids were young, leave a good tip and say thank you obviously.

Maybe the mummies will feel less entitled if they are expected to clear the unnecessary mess. I was once in a NT cafe where the mummies were letting their sprogs 'paint' the table with upturned Tesco yoghurts, they then got up and walked away.

If they’re making a mess with food brought from home then absolutely YABU.

I always ask for a dustpan and brush as a courtesy (and pick up any big bits with a napkin). Sounds like they’re fed up with the behaviour of the group tbh.

As a general rule, I don't think it's right to hand a customer cleaning equipment!

However, from your posts, it sounds like the mess is being caused by things that haven't been purchased from the cafe. I think that makes a massive difference - a customer dropping the odd crumb from something bought on the premises is to be expected, and the need to lightly clean up after that person is built into the business model.

If, for example, you're bringing in baby pouches, getting sticky puree all over the high chair arms and on the floor, the cafe is doing you a favour in the first place by turning a blind eye to the external product - it's an ask too much to then expect them to dispose of the extra rubbish and clean up after the sticky residue of something they don't even sell. They're making a loss on this.

I'm sure all if not most of you have buggies with you and you're taking up more space than the typical customer - and I bet there are some people who are choosing to not eat in because they feel the group is dominating the cafe. (Doesn't matter who's in the group, a large party is always off-putting to some customers, which is fine if they're spending lots of money, but not if they're nursing a pot of tea for two hours.)

Basically, you need to be better customers.

When I take kids out, no one ever asks me to clean up after them, but I make a point of thanking the staff verbally, apologising for the chaos and also leaving them an excessive tip to compensate for the extra effort they've had to put in. I appreciate not everyone can afford to do this, but everyone can acknowledge to the staff that they've been a challenging customer, and if they don't have money to tip generously, they can offer to sweep up.

OP, if you had offered yourself, chances are the staff member would have turned you down. It sounds as if the brush was handed to you out of weeks of built up frustration. I don't think the staff member has covered themselves in glory, but equally, it doesn't sound like your group has either.

We're not all perfect, and sometimes the way to defuse the conflict is to simply own our imperfections. 'Thanks for taking such good care of us again - we tried to stop them, but we know the babies were messier than usual today. We appreciate you and your colleagues always making our weekly meet-up so pleasant.'

What absolute pigs. Some people are disgusting.

I would be embarrassed to drop food on the floor and leave it there. Just as I wouldn’t leave it there if my child dropped it.

Theyre probably sick of groups of parents coming in and then leaving the mess under the table either oblivious or just not giving a toss about it. As a customer I see it all the time

I’d take family friendly to mean baby change facilities and we’ll warm up a bottle for you. Not somewhere to just be a slob and have someone else pick up your mess

Sounds like the floors and chairs in our Starbucks branch in town…mess not caused by mums ‘n babies/tots. So I reckon adults are just as bad at leaving mess and food on floors and staff don’t seem to give much of a toss about cleaning up these days! Perhaps they are very badly paid :-(

I'm starting to think there should be a special kind of cafe designed a bit like a smaller version of the coliseum, mums and babies go in a fenced off bit in the middle and everyone else sits around shouting at them every time a child makes a noise/drops something/makes a smell/eats something sugary.

You dropped something!
Your baby is crying!
Your baby is crying while you pick things up!
Your baby is crying because you won't give it food while you wait for food to arrive!
You gave your baby crisps!
You haven't slept properly in a year and your relationship is falling apart!
You thought you could escape the loneliness and drudgery by leaving the house to go to a cafe, but you can't!
You picked up the big bits of food you dropped, but you didn't scrape up the crumbs with your bare hands!

You could let the mums in free and get judgy people to pay to attend, everyone would be happy.

My first wasn't a very messy eater so I used to just pick up the bits with wipes but my second takes the mess to a whole other level and I don't enjoy crawling around on my hands and knees using tons of wipes.

But I always without fail ask for a dustpan and brush to clean up properly. However they always say no and I then feel really awkward walking away and leaving such a mess. I'm sure other customers must talk about me!

I would never leave food on the floor in a cafe or restaurant and always ask for a dustpan and brush or a cloth if liquid spilt on the floor. I don't think "Family Friendly" means its ok to leave food on the floor for the staff to spot and clean before the next customer. If the staff are busy and miss the mess you have left, someone could slip on that. I saw that happen once and it was awful. The woman landed on her knees.

The other problem is that if there is a largish group of parents and youngsters it can put off other higher spending customers; so I’m told by a friend of mine who runs a cafe near me. She has a garden so in the summer it’s not an issue at all but in the winter it can really affect her takings, especially at lunchtime. I think she’s in really struggling at the moment so if a group of parents come in, buy one coffee each over a long time and take up a lot of space and make a lot of noise it’s galling to see other higher spending customers come to the door and think better of it.

Leave as you find, this applies to pretty much everything. The entitled attitude that your mess is someone else’s problem is exactly why the UK is often criticised for being dirty, littered and unkempt.

Come on OP, clearing tables of plates and crockery is one thing, staff removing food from the floor because parents can’t be bothered to ‘leave as they find’ is appalling. Bear in mind that many cafes and restaurants are running on a shoestring due to the rising costs, the least that patrons can do is leave things neatly stacked and pick items off the floor to help the few staff on shift.

I'd clean up my babies mess,is it food you bought there?if you are making a mess when it's not cafe bought food that's even worse.clear up and maybe spend more or stay a shorter time if you're making one drink last a very long time?

I would try to clean up after myself generally but if a staff member was brandishing a dustpan and brush at me, I would feel judged and unwelcome so wouldn't be returning and would certainly not describe the place as family friendly.
Also sometimes if I try to clean up after my daughter it just draws her attention to it and she wants to eat it, so for instance in McDonald's when I can see someone going round already with a pan and brush is leave them to it.

Absolutely this which is what I was trying to convey, but you put it much more eloquently than I did! 😁

I'd say 'family friendly' means just that: families consisting of parent/s and a couple of children.

On which planet does gangs of women, all with small babies/toddlers possibly screaming and crying in unison, bringing in food for the children, buying one coffee apiece, taking over a substantial area for a substantial period of time whilst nursing said coffees, being loud and leaving a battlesite behind equate to a family?

As pps have said, I'd be swerving any cafe with that sort of group installed. It's highly possible my partner and I would spend more than the messy group spend between them plus we're tidy and leave generous tips wherever we go.

Now, ask yourself who would you rather have as customers? Where would you rather spend time with a friend or two, or your own wee family?

Strictly speaking they don’t like you doing it. Why would they? I never did it because I couldn’t help think how I would feel it it was my cafe. I wouldn’t have been too impressed.

I don't usually leave the house without snacks of some sort. If we go to a cafe, I would order but often give the kids some snack in the 20 mins or so it takes for food to be served. Carrot sticks etc. Not messy, not cutting into cafe profits, preferable to kids crying and wriggling while we wait.

There is a big difference to taking food to an independent cafe or a chain. I would not with an independent, I have with a chain.

That’s different. You’ve ordered for your child / children from them. Can’t see anyone having an issue with that.

Midweek daytimes outside of lunch hour traffic, you get pensioners and mums. Not many families on a weekday.