Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

Ughh they clearly had too much time on their hands and needed to get back to work. oh no wait, someone else works for them so that they can sit in cafes all day making a mess and pissing people off.

Of course you should clean up ! Do you just throw your crumbs and napkins on the floor when you leave a café ?

also you probably all sit there for ages with one coffee and share a bit of cake so the manager has prob had enough.

YABU

The minimum wage worker is paid to serve and do light cleaning (wipe tables etc), not scrabble around after your kids week in week out. Crumbs on the table is expected, food on the floor is too far, especially if it's not food even bought at the cafe. And especially if you're not leaving a decent tip which I'm also guessing you don't.

Plus you say you're there with your friends every week. This isn't just a one off where the staff can role their eyes abit, deal with it and move on. It's week in week out. You're taking the piss and the poor staff have probably reached the end of their tether. Cleaning up after your baby is your responsibility, you'd have to do it at home, why shouldn't you do it out (especially if it's your own provided food!).

I always clear up after my baby/toddler's mess in any cafe/restaurants. Handing you dustpan and a brush is really odd but I'd say that's a gesture of them to say we had enough!. Being a family friendly cafe doesn't mean they welcome families come to make a mess. As other pp have said, you should leave the place as the way you would like it to be.

I think it’s fine to give your toddler some rice cakes from home while you’re waiting for the food you’ve ordered for them to arrive. Better than them screaming because they’re hungry.

(and yes I do tidy up afterwards).

I found that groups of mums & babies would take over the cafes where we used to live and hated it. I’d go out for linch with DM a couple of times a week and we’d go to cafe’s where we could sit and chat while using a local business. After a while we’d find a group of mums had decided that that particular cafe was their venue of choice, they’d take up 4-5 tables, moving tables to make enough room for them all, leaving their buggy’s in any gaps they could find (which was often the route to the toilets) and it would get incredibly loud with noisy babies. The mum’s would all buy a coffee and maybe a cake but would bring food for their babies and they would stay a good couple of hours.

Then, once they had left the staff would have the job of putting everything back where it should be, clearing up the mess - and there was was so much unnecessary mess with piles of wet wipes and discarded food pouches on tables, food and often napkins on the floor. So we would go to a different cafe - and, a few weeks later, the group of mums would suddenly be there doing the same. It was pretty clear they were using each cafe/coffee shop as their territory until the staff made it clear that they had outstayed their welcome and then they’d move on to the next venue. As a non parent user of the venues it was off putting if you were in there after them and had to wait while it was all put back to rights - of couldn’t use the facilities because you couldn’t reach the toilets. Now I’m a mum and don’t go into coffee shops with my twins simply because I don’t like to inconvenience other people the way we saw back then.

it's courtesy to either clear up after yourself or to apologise to the staff for them having to do it for you

these things are about courtesy and they can be done with a smile

generally, people are buggers about leaving a mess in cafes. and should be taught some decency about it

Not great manners for the cafe owner to hand customers a dustpan though imo

I think the fact that the OP's mum told her to leave a negative review on the cafe's social media says a fair bit about how she's been raised ...

No they should not make you sweep it up , youre a customer
Children and adults are always dropping food on the floor its expected,
as long as you pick up any big bits and wipe the table of crumbs , the rest is their job
I wouldnt eat there again

They don’t. People might bring in baby appropriate food for a baby, that’s hardly comparable to and adult bringing a packed lunch to a cafe.
What would you recommend off the coffee shop menu for a hungry 13 month old’s lunch?

Your posts are bizarre, you have such limited understanding of what young kids are like, what babies need etc and yet you constantly post extremely judgmental comments about what parents do with their children.

I've always cleaned up after my child. It's the decent thing to do.

Because you've behaved terribly by leaving such a mess behind! You should leave the tables clean enough for other people to want to sit there.

I'm always bemused by these threads as I simply don't recall DS making these huge swathes of mess when we went out somewhere. If he started crumbling a biscuit, we'd take it off him, same if he started throwing or dropping food.

Family friendly simply means they will have high chairs and a baby changing station. In the same way that if a pub or shop is dog friendly I don't expect them to clean up rookiedogs poos and wees.

That is absolutely fine, but the number of parents who order a single coffee, pull out a whole packed lunch for their child (when cafes serve almost identical food too) then proceed to spend over an hour there and leave a massive mess of only food not bought from the cafe is incredibly high. And that is completely unacceptable and incredibly rude.

I think even in an adult group, most considerate people would clean up obvious mess - wipe spillages with a napkin, pick up food that's fallen on the floor and so on. That's not the same as wear-and-tear cleaning such as wiping up crumbs, which you'd expect the cafe to do.

This has been done to death and I don't have DC.

But whenever I've been out with friends/relatives with young babies and toddlers, no. 1, always always clear up after yourself - even if they spill a drink over the table as DNephew did the other week with his babycino! No. 2 - don't bring stuff from home to feed them - it's so rude - I don't do this as an adult so you shouldn't do this as parents.

I've also been a waitress in the past, part time holiday work - and it's hard work - on your feet all day - even in a cafe. It does create extra pressure to clean a table and under it of baby food debris and then you get other customers complaining if it's not cleaned... (with baby food debris), so you can't win!

It's more likely to be because you are regulars but don't tip

Of course you should clean it up. Jesus how is this even being debated. Were you brought up on a farm?

Family friendly simply means they have facilties for families not that people are free to leave their mess behind.

Many people are extrapolating handing the op the dustpan and brush to being evidence of the cafe not wanting the op and her group in there as they are sick of them making a huge mess, spending a huge amount of time there but only spending the minimum amount on food and drink. Then of course many are taking the stance that the op didnt want to clear up the mess and that this is a sign that she is inconsiderate and entitled , but in reality babies make mess and the crumbs were from spending in the cafe for the baby to enjoy, to bring custom to the cafe and surely the mums can enjoy their food/drink while leaving the little ones to happily enjoy making a messs shouldn't be a problem needed solving until everyone is packed up and ready to go and up to that point it's unlikely people coming in would regard this baby mess as evidence that the cafe is lax on cleaning standards and it's much more likely that this would happen because the staff are not viewing cleaning high chairs and floor space nearby as their job hence approaching the op to hand her a dust pan and brush while the op was trying to organise her crying baby to leave . This was not reasonable and while the op sorted out the baby the staff member could have quickly used the dust pan and brush to sweep up crumbs and this is actually their job and the cafe don't have the dustpan and brush for customers to use . It is in the job description that they are expected to make sure the table and floor space are tidy for the next customers . Those saying they would only exoect to wipe the table then dojng that and the highchair tray would likely get some crumbs on the floor requiring them to sweep up anyway . If peoplr think it's unfair as the staff member would be on minimum wage then that's the employer in charge of that and not the op!!! Xxc

I think OP has grudgingly admitted that she should've been more considerate and cleaned up her child's excess mess.

Not all parents are like this though and maybe OP is having a bad day.

I don't shudder when I go into local family friendly cafes - as they're kept really clean!

However, there was an eco friendly baby cafe which has now changed hands and was exclusively mums/dads and babies and young children and you do wonder at the mess they made based on OP!

Family friendly simply means they will have high chairs and a baby changing station. In the same way that if a pub or shop is dog friendly I don't expect them to clean up rookiedogs poos and wees.

Hits the nail on the head perfectly and a brilliant comparison. Friendly means families are welcome there (whilst some places simply won't have children in), we still expect your family to be well behaved and courteous.

If you do that then someone else nabs it first!!

But I do get your irritation about it.

Recently though I've been in places that are so understaffed that the dirty tables sit there for ages before there is someone available to clear them. More than once the surrounding tables have not been cleaned before I've finished my meal and am ready to go.

I did baby led weaning so my children were feeding themselves from weaning onwards. They made a mess. I cleared it up (and left a big tip)