Partners birthday -I’m so hurt

[bagpuss90]

I know some of my posts are a bit controversial-but I’m feeling quite heartbroken -so please be kind.
It was my DPs birthday yesterday . He’d decided he wanted to visit his old home town for a bit of nostalgia . I tore ligaments in my knee a couple of weeks ago -still painful. I’d hoped we could still go but i could only hobble about yesterday and just wasn’t up to it .I’m Self-Employed and I’d booked the day off . I suggested I also book a day out in a couple of weeks time when we could go to his home town together -after all it’s not going anywhere . I offered to take him out locally for a meal -anywhere he wanted to go -somewhere really nice or do something else .I’d bought a card, pressies -I felt really guilty but I still wanted him to have a nice day. Anyway he basically went on his nostalgia trip on his own -I didn’t see him yesterday .I suggested we had a meal in the evening but he didn’t want to “clock watch” I’m hurt that he didn’t want to spend the day with me -but walk about on his own . If we’d booked something Id get that -but we hadn’t. I get it’s not about me -it was his birthday . Pressies and card are sat there . I couldn’t help not being up to it . I’m just upset that he’d rather spend the day on his own. I might add things haven’t been great lately but we’d both agreed to make the effort . I’m bloody gutted 😢

And it would seem in your love life, your family and your friends 😂

l I was NOT being sarcastic ffs . Jesus

None the less, it definitely comes across as gloating.

It's an unusual reaction to say you aren't gloating. Most people would think that they were a bit sad that someone they loved had had a bad birthday.

Gloating wouldn't feature on the list of emotions people would have in that situation.

You might as well have said 'I wasn't embarrassed' or ' I wasn't terrified'.

Of course you weren’t.

Januarcelebration
im not arguing . I think you’re vile . I really do .

Ok

I wasn’t being sarcastic

I might moan but the viciousness of some posters on here appalls me . Not just to me but generally

I get the need for a nostalgia trip and understand that sometimes it can’t wait. I have to do it then and now whilst the thoughts are strong in my mind.

Sometimes a birthday can cause unexpected emotions and a longing for times gone by.

I can see why he wanted to go back there on his birthday

I can also understand that you felt deflated and upset that he went without you.

My solution would have been that you went together but you were sat in the car or cafe whilst he went walkabout to various places and were reunited during the day for a meal.

Don't feel special @Januarcelebration from the plethora of old posts OP thinks EVERYONE is vile!

He actually wished he’d not gone cos it’s changed so much- and no I’m not gloating -not at all

He definitely does not feel that way.

I’m not sure why people are jumping on you this way OP, but I’ve not read your previous threads!

I think that this thread is probably only going to make you feel worse at this stage. Might be worth coming away from MN and having an open chat with you DP. From the sounds of your updates he seems rather upset himself so be kind. Good luck

Same here. I go on a trip to a place where I’ve never been because I wouldn’t be able to do those things with family in tow without having to make it child-friendly, having several stops in between for food and the loo and constantly making sure we have the kids things. I open cards when I return and send a message of thanks.

It would be a dealbreaker if I had a spouse who had an issue with the way I spent my own birthday .

Blimey, I'm starting to see why you fall out with everyone in your life from your responses on this thread!

So did you just not bother working even though you knew you wouldn't be seeing him? That's a bit mad if you're already struggling.

I don’t recognise you OP, but clearly lots of people do.

Why don’t you name-change?

If you’re going to come on here incessantly whinging and venting - and expect people to give you the time of day - you need to do it under different usernames.

Because you’ve clearly got a hard and fast reputation as a tedious moaner.

You both agreed to make more effort and then you're upset because he did something he wanted to do without you, because you weren't up to it. If it was the other way round would you be mad at him for not making the effort?

Perfect content for…. Your next thread!

girlmom21
it was too late to book any work in at short notice

The trip was a present from you, not something for you. Surely you just want him to enjoy it as he wishes?

How are you feeling about things today OP? X