To think the NHS have made me infertile and to attempt to sue them?

[outpatient]

I had a miscarriage ten weeks no bleeding heartbeat stopped I then had a d and c surgery to remove the foetus and since then my problems started,

All I've had is continual early miscarriages - which I am reading is common issue after d and c surgery due to womb scarring.

I have even had corrective surgery I paid 5k for and the early losses are continuing in the same way, I've had scans that show I had adhesions which happen after d and c, things feel different since the d and c

I'm very angry, what do I do about this I'm almost certain my issues have been caused by the d and c surgery

I am so sorry that you are having such problems but I agree with a PP that you need to stop looking for people to blame and instead try to get to the bottom of what is causing your problems. (I am speaking here as someone who spent 10.5 years ttc.) You seem to have a number of factors for miscarriages, including endometriosis and thyroid problems. I'm not an expert, but I believe that auto-immune problems leading to miscarriages can be linked to some thyroid problems as well.

I see that you are paying for private consultations but feel that you are not getting the help you need. If you have the money available, I would suggest that you try to find private treatment specialising in recurrent miscarriage. When I was ttc, Dr Shehata was the person to see.

If you are not already on it, I would really suggest joining the Fertility Friends online forum. The information and support on it (including on topics such as recurring miscarriages, endo, thyroid, and autoimmune issues) when I was ttc was amazing, and gave me the knowledge to become more active in my treatment. With the best will in the world, most obs and gynae staff do not know much about infertility. Even staff in IVF clinics do not necessarily have much understanding about the causes of infertility or about cutting edge research.

Please harness the energy which is currently playing out as anger towards the NHS and direct it instead towards finding out as much as you can about your own fertility challenges and the people and treatment who might be able to help you with them.

Wishing you good luck.

This is very sad. I chose non medical MC at home, I remember hearing the risks including scarring though

It hurts more than “period pains” for most people, can take weeks, and after all of that if not everything comes out you still end up needing a D&C anyway.

I tried medical management for 3 of my 4 miscarriages, trying to avoid further D&Cs, and they were awful (and I needed a D&C each time, but after 2-3 rounds of medication and 6-8 weeks of bleeding). At least the time I had a D&C first off, I went to sleep and when I woke up it was all over. No pain, minimal bleeding, just one day off work.

Every person’s situation is different, and medical management, “conservative” management and surgical management all have their advantages and drawbacks for different people.

Yes of course I must be one of those magical minorities who not like anyone else thus I must be corrected and have my experiance minimised by being told I'm not like 'MOST' people... even though I LITRALLY work with groups that assist women through this.

My experiance is not bizaare or even remotely unique and I clearly said that their COULD be still complications (like you experiance), please don't try to minimise other people loss and experiances or correct them on what THEY have been through by stating their loss was somehow abnormal and not like everyone elses.

I’m not saying your experience is “bizarre”, just that it’s not as straightforward for everyone as it was for you. You did seem to be pushing medical management as an absolute breeze and did say you didn’t know why more women didn’t go for it - I was explaining some of the reasons why a woman might not choose that option.

I have literally never heard anyone describe it as “just like a period” before, and I think it is important that women are prepared for the potential for a fair amount of blood and pain with the medical management route - it would be terrifying if you weren’t expecting that. Obviously if somebody doesn’t experience that, great. Miscarriages are bad enough regardless, nobody gets extra points for suffering.

People should choose whichever option is best for them, without judgement or criticism of their choices.

You straight up said 'It hurts more than “period pains” for most people', that is simply NOT true and you can not speak for most people and is implying Im 'abnormal'. Im sorry you suffered complication but thats that, you where one of the unfortunate ones that suffered the not standard complications.

Same was a PP suffered a heamorrage during D&C it an unforunate risk that can happen to SOME people in ANY given option. You say you suffered for weeks so the proceedure FAILED and suffered heamorraging during medical management but that is something going wrong due to it failing not the standard process.

What you are doing is scaring women off trying the safer less invasive second step option by telling them MOST people will suffer horrible complications which is pure agenda.

People can make their choice but many women don't know about medical management, which utilises the same proccess as pill based abortions which are very common without complications too.

Sorry but I've now had the latest update from the private doctor I'm paying £150 per half an hour and this is the exchange - so to earlier post who said my attitude is atrocious - what the fuck do you expect when this is what I'm getting - and the NHS treating me worse;

To anyone that thinks this communication is acceptable when you pay this person £150 just to have a half hour chat can do one

Those saying I'm the one to blame because my body is faulting can also do one.

I am NOT a ducking doctor so how do I know what conditions cause what. I can't even read my medical notes in English because it's in medical jargon.

It's a joke, I still have not had a reply about my blood tests, the NHS have asked me to go for a pelvic scan when they know I've had one.

One doctor says do IVF in three months another says a year because the one that told me that is robbing me

Anyone trying to say I'm not taking responsibility after I am paying money and spending hours researching this shit can quite frankly do one.

Sorry I didn't mean to swear I'm just really not in the best place right now.

Yes full of anger because I can't seem to find what is wrong with me and no one seems to know what to tell me.

No one seems to care - are those texts from a doctor that cares do you think? Because I don't

I would think you’d need to investigate and see if there’s any evidence that it is likely caused by the d and v? D and v doesn’t usually cause subsequent miscarriages.

You have to get legal advice. No one on here will know.

I'm so sorry you've gone through this - sounds horrible.

Also I believe you that it's not the same. I can't tell you how many people denied my medical conditions and told me it was all in my head that turned out to be diagnosed later.

I find it hard to follow and Im not sure if it’s because I’m missing context but that exchange is awful

Can they not write clearly and usefully? I get how you’re feeling

You don't pay people to care. You could pay a therapist to pretend to care I guess.
Family and friends are the people to turn to for care. How are things on that front, op? Are you getting support?

I'll start by saying I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility so there was literally nothing wrong with me but I couldn't get pregnant.

I've never had a private doctor communicate with me by text. If you're not happy with that service don't go to him again.

With our infertility tests we had several done more than once. Some things do change when it comes to your fertility. I lost count of the blood tests and scans I had. I had to have a pre ivf HIV test and again once I was actually pregnant.

I completely understand how frustrating and painful this is. I understand your anger and the issue is that there isn't really anyone you can be angry at or blame for your struggles. It just is what it is.

It sounds like you've done lots of tests and tbh IVF might be your best bet here.

@ArcticSkewer I mean on a basic level as part of their job to care enough to jot send me bullshit texts like the one I just posted and to give me proper advice - I'm not getting this.

How would you feel gettting those text from someone you've paid thousands of pounds to? That communication is not acceptable even on a basic level of just doing your job

@MarshaBradyo yes exactly, that's what they sent to deliver the outcome of my blood tests to see if I have miscarried.

@MarshaBradyo the first text in the e j she was underneath the picture of my bloods , when he says it's very lie I'm assuming he meant HCG levels but like you say it doesn't even fully make sense this is clearly someone that cannot be bothered

Is this is an additional out of hours text rather than the main consult? So a follow up outside of office hours?
Anyway the good news is that as you are paying you can just take your money elsewhere if you want to.

Presumably the NHS want a new scan to monitor changes or follow up? It's not a 'once I had a scan so never again' scenario. Things change. Why is it bad to have additional scans to double check?

OK so was this text to tell you that you have just miscarried again? I'm sorry op. That was an upsetting way to break bad news. I'm sorry about your miscarriage.

You’re angry and quite unpleasant sounding. I understand that you’re going through a difficult time. When fertility is anything other than straightforward, it’s upsetting and stressful.

I don’t think waving your stick wildly at someone or something random to blame will do you any good. Neither will it do you any financial or emotional good to start down a legal route that you simply don’t have a case for.

I won’t argue with you about the use of the word “infertile” but I hope that one of your pregnancies sticks soon.

I'm not got to sue them, I've decided you're correct on that. I can't be bothered I was angry when I wrote this.

I just am incredibly frustrated but anyway thank you all for replies and I will change consultant to another one.

I'm also really reconsidering if having children is worth this to be honest it's really got me thinking it's perhaps just not worth all of this,

Anyway, thanks x

I understand OP, you’re angry because you’ve spent 3 years trying for a baby, have spent a ton of money, have had an unpleasant d&c and have no answers 💐 I think you’re entitled to have a bit of a vent on here. I don’t think suing the NHS would work or is the answer, but I would encourage you to seek support on the infertility threads if you haven’t already.

I think it is not ideal to exchange texts with a clinician, for either party. Better to arrange a follow up phone consult where you can get more meaningful information and ask questions.

@Cuppasoupmonster thank you so much x