Not wanting random people touching my child

[RiceRiceBaby16]

It honestly happens every.single.fucking.time we go anywhere. I've got a one year old. Ever since he's been born, when we go somewhere, shops etc, at least one person ends up touching or nearly touching him (if I manage to move him in time). AIBU to think it's inappropriate and rude. Germs and all aside, I don't even know you! I'm also genuinely concerned about people's perception about boundaries.
Or is this a normal British thing? Im not British but have lived here a while.
The problem is that I also struggle to say NO a lot of the time and find it awkward to tell someone please don't touch him. Especially if it's a person at a till who we might see Eve try other day when shopping.
I need to learn to protect my sons boundaries and be an example for
Him so he doesn't grow up thinking any stranger can just walk up to him and touch him. Any advice?
I really really wish I was more strict if that's the word. How can you be kind / not awkward but still enforce your boundaries?

A person who we see every other day when shopping *

What do you mean? Like try and pat head or something?

It’s funny that us Brits have a reputation as being a nation that barely tolerates children at best, dislikes children at worst, yet somebody showing affection to your baby is deemed to be a nuisance by you op.
Just say “please don’t touch my baby, I’m overly anxious about germs” rinse and repeat. You’re a grown up now.

People touch your 1 year old every time you leave the house?
I can say I don’t think a stranger has ever touched my 1 year old although plenty have chatted to her.

I'm also genuinely concerned about people's perception about boundaries.
Or is this a normal British thing?

Isn’t this literally the opposite of the British stereotype?

I really like it when strangers interact with my baby. He’s cute and smiley and it makes people happy.

Oh another thread bashing the Brits.

Are you sure you're talking about Britain? Not Italy or Spain or Turkey...? My DC always got touched when on holiday in Europe, not so much here. Can't say it ever bothered me.

I don’t think either of mine were touched by strangers as babies. Just manoeuvre the buggy so that the serial offenders don’t get the opportunity? Or say, he’s a bit poorly at the moment I wouldn’t touch.

Utterly bizarre. Where on Earth do you live? I've got an 11-month old and a three-year-old and aside from people stopping to make witty observations such as "you've got your hands full" I can hand on heart say no one has ever touched my babies without my permission. In that time I've lived in NI, Ireland and England.
Where are these people?!

I really like it when strangers interact with my baby. He’s cute and smiley and it makes people happy

I don't have children and never wanted them but cute smiley babies are great. They make me want to smile back at them.

YANBU - I hate it. I don't want to be touched by strangers and I don't want my children to be either.

Ugh that’s weird, I wouldn’t like that either. Maybe I just don’t live in a touchy place (and also my
son was born just before lockdown) but I haven’t had any strangers try and touch him. I’ve had a few people wave at him or say hello (he’s also in a stage of blurting out HELLO at strangers these days).

I’ve had 4 children and can’t say this has ever really happened, talking to them yeh but touching? every time you leave the house? The only times that annoyed me is when strangers have offered them food 🤢😒

My children must have been very unappealing as babies/toddlers I don't remember a single occasion when anyone touched them

And I have never knowingly touched anyone else's child whilst out and about

Whereabouts do you live?

I’m with you, OP. I really don’t like it. I’ve had a random stranger asking to hold my baby (to be clear, not to help me in any way, just to hold them), a man who practically rubbed his hand all over my daughters face and a woman trying to pull back the hood of my son’s pram in a cafe whilst putting her other hand in to touch him. Just bugger off!

Never happened in my experience

The only time I remember people touching my dc was wanting to put a silver coin in their palm. That was years ago and only happened a few times.

I think that you are well within your rights (and his) to say please don’t.

Awww I think it's pretty instinctive to reach out to a small child and pat their cheeks or let them grip your finger

Sad that it's obviously so unwelcome nowadays. But your child. Your rules.

I have kids and this has never happened. But please rest assured, although i am British i have no desire whatsoever to touch your germ riddled child. Hope that helps.

People would speak to my children, in fact they still do just not as much.

They never touched them though.

Just like someone said, I don't like being touched by strangers, so why should my baby have to be touched? 9 out of 10 times he also gets visibly upset and scared, sometimes he also cries. People laugh it off. Going by most replies on this thread, it is obvious that it's normal and accepted here. I am not bashing British people at all, that was misconstrued. I love this country and the people, it was simply a question because it's my first child that I'm raising here. Sorry if it came across that way but it's certainly not what I meant. It's also common in my experience for people to laugh it off when they touch him and he gets scared / cries. It seems that many people respect babies less than adults just because they can't speak for themselves.
I don't think any child should be touched by a stranger unless they are visibly reaching out to them.
Example of what I mean for those asking- child is in shopping trolley, pointing at a food item. Older lady passing by grabs his hand and shakes it "oh you cutie".
People pinching his cheeks. Stroking his head. Grabbing his leg when I'm holding him and saying some googoo gaga.
We were speaking to a complete stranger at the park about the council not cleaning the park up after it was trashed, son was in my arms. She just reached out and grabbed his hand. He cried,
These are the scenarios I mean, I don't see how people are ok with this. And I'm not bothered about germs.

Also it seems that it's mostly older people. So perhaps there is a generational difference of what's seen as normal in term of physical boundaries. And those that have had their physical boundaries broken and not protected in childhood , tend to do it to others as they get older. Because they know no better. I just want to say to everyone reading this who thinks it's okay, not everyone is comfortable and I think the parent should be asked first - "can I touch him/ her"? Why do we assume it's okay to touch someone's child who we don't know at all? Just to reiterate I mean complete strangers, not family and friends. We go to baby groups too and he's seen the women several times who lead the groups and know them, so he's fine being touched by them. I also follow his reactions now that he's older. Also if we allow all and any stranger to touch our kids, aren't we teaching them to trust people we don't even know? What kind of lesson does that send?

I’ve literally never seen this happen. People are so precious these days I’m worried to even look in the direction of a baby.
i always love how it’s about teaching their baby to “have boundaries” too 😂