To think I and other people with commitments should get a medal

[GrrrrrreeeNotgreatactually]

Kids have an inset day and their dad is home and so for the first time (possibly ever) I am getting ready for work without having to get them ready for school, nursery, holiday club.
I'm actually bored. It's not time to leave yet. I'm dressed. I've even done a bit around the house. It makes me think of how easy this is, even for a serial procrastinator like me. So know I'm wondering about all my child free colleagues who roll their eyes when I come in frazzled, frizzy, five minutes late (I also stay late) and sometimes with someone else's toothpaste on me. Do they have any idea how easy it is to get yourself out of the house for work compared to getting other little two people out the door (who frankly aren't as motivated)? Do they not realise that those of us with kids/ caring responsibilities are not just wilfully blasé but that it's actually really fucking difficult to get somewhere (almost) on time without looking like you've been through tough mudder with an added sticky fingers obstacle?
I could do this every day.

Fucking hell, it was clearly a lighthearted post from someone letting off a bit of steam. Mumsnet is as much for people just having a bit of moan about things and decompressing as it is about more serious matters and if you don't like it, just don't read the thread rather than being a massive arse about it.

Cleary you've not been on MN long then ...

You wanted kids, what did you think it was going to be like?

What a pointless thing to say. You could say that about anything. What did you think a mortgage would be like? What did you think a job would be like? What did you think marriage would be like?

You never quite know until it happens and circumstances - and people - change.

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup how about all of it? Bitter, nasty, unnecessary.

I think once you are a parent you learn "organisation" and "planning" skills and it just becomes part of life and a normal way of living.
I had 4 Dcs (at one time all 4 under 6 years of age) I managed to work despite facing many challenges, and I understand the point the OP is making.
The first time since we had the children that DH and I went away for a break on our own (oldest was 19 and looked after the others while we were away) we found it hard to adjust to just being responsible for ourselves.

@pinkyredrose - I had no idea 🤷‍♀️, people can tell you it’s hard work, the books give you some advice but the reality it something different. As with most major life decisions. I’ve also renovated a house, they was also a lot harder, more expensive and more time consuming than I expected. Somethings you just can’t be prepared for without practical experience.

Hmm, I dunno actually.

Mornings are a bit crazy now with a 4 and 6 year old, but I now only have a 20 min drive to work/30 minute bus ride/none as I sometimes wfh.

Before I had kids (and actually also before DC2 was born) I used to have a 2-hour commute (made up of 30 min walk to station/1 hour on train/30 min walk to office). Then I used to feel like I'd done a day's work before I'd even got to the office.

So YABU... I'd take getting two kids ready for school over a two-hour trek into the office.

How far does that analogy stretch? Why can't mothers recognise, in the company of other mothers, that it's bloody hard? We don't know what to expect. The realities and relentlessness of parenthood are not spelled out in advance. And even if they were, why can't we sometimes moan? It's a bloody chatboard for parents!

"You wanted nice things, what did you think would happen when you didn't concentrate at school"

"You wanted a husband, what did you think would happen" when a man turns abusive

"You wanted to work part time, what did you think would happen" when passed over again?

There's no need for all these nasty posts.

But also this. There is nothing remotely similar to having your own kids that will go even 2% towards preparing you for what it's like.

@pinkyredrose that line of argument is so silly.

when people have a baby they have no idea if that baby will be a boy or a girl, healthy or unwell, go on to have SEN, be a “livewire”, be shy, be a talented musician/sportsperson/artist, etc etc. We just don’t know and every child brings their own joys and challenges.

As others have said, the shutting down of the OP making a lighthearted thread about getting out of the house reeks of spite and misogyny.

It is hard to do anything with children. It can be hard to remember what life was like before children. We change anyway, life in our 20’s and 30’s child free is different to 10 years down the line when we’ve had children and also moved on in our own lives/careers etc.

before children I lived in central London and had to be up before 6am to get to work (teacher). Now I have children I don’t have to get up till after 6am but 90% of my time between waking and leaving the house is focussed on my small(ish) children. Life changes. We roll with it. Some mornings it’s slick, some mornings I cry with the stress, most mornings we middle through.

It’s ok for people here to share stuff about being a mum without panicking that they will offend people who don’t have children or who have other caring responsibilities. The OP was not insensitive at all and I hope she’s having a good day and isn’t too deflated by some of the really unkind posts here.

YABU sorry OP but you chose to have kids, get up earlier

What a shitty arrogant post. You had some extra free time this morning and you chose to spend it bitching about people who don’t have children instead of doing something more constructive and positive.

@Adultchildofelderlyparents you’re right! The OP should spend EVERY WAKING MINUTE being constructive and positive! Of course she should! ;-)

You might have more luck in real life OP. The relative challenge of getting out the house in the morning with kids is an entirely normal theme of enjoyable, lighthearted conversation between all of my friends. Then again that probably means we’re a ‘clique’ that makes all the miseries on here with the terminal inability to get on with other people sooo anxious about doing the school or nursery run, lest they run the risk of seeing another mother smile or talk to someone within ten metres of them.

You sound a bit hyper this morning

You deserve a medal for being goofy that’s for sure

*goady,not goofy. Bloody autocorrect.

Oh my god. This is disgusting.

Most adults have responsibilities. You have chosen yours, and what you are suggesting is that they are more important than anyone else's instead of just different. Have you any idea how many infertile couples physically yearn for your commitments? The mornings you describe..And how many of your child free colleagues have caring responsibilities because they are the ones in the family that don't have kids so it all gets dumped on them? I could go on.

Those saying they won't come in on a non work day, or do the commute if it will detrimentally affect that work day, are operating within the boundaries of their contract. Totally different from what you are doing which is suggesting that you are some sort of superwoman for both working and parenting?!

I'm an older mum who works full time. I miss those days of chilling before work, just concentrating on me I dread a call from school in a meeting, and I'm frequently up at midnight doing home admin, sewing trousers and making packed lunches. And I spent my 20s watching my colleagues do it. Its life.

However I chose that life and my rewards are ten fold. I don't expect those rewards from my employer, and I don't expect anybody with a different lot to bend over in any direction to make mine easier or praise me for it. My time will come.

Have a good journey down from that horse of yours!

Wow. Some proper hostile comments on here.

So much is wrong with a society where bringing up the next generation should be seen as something done on the side, quietly, with no venting allowed, no support offered.

It might be the making of her. I hear lots of parents say having children was the making of them.

Both work