To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

OP I think your DS will do well wherever he goes.

School governor here and part of my role is to assess bursary applications. Two thoughts….
Definitely apply as many parents don’t think they will be accepted. Private schools need to fulfil their charitable status by giving out bursaries. The financial information is obviously to get a feel for your position. I’ve turned down applications when parents have asked for 20% for their three children but I can see that they will need just about 100% from the beginning which the school might not be in a position to offer longer term…applications are reviewed annually. Likewise I’ve seen existing parents plead poverty and then post glossy international holiday photos on social media at every opportunity.

Secondly, the assessment results may well determine how flexible they can be…the higher the scoring, the better the offer.

Good luck!

From your posts, it looks like you're thinking of applying for a 100% bursary. Those are pretty rare, in my experience. The child, or the circumstances, would usually have to be exceptional.

You definitely should apply for your child/children (is there more than one? I'm slightly confused because you've referred to a DC, but then have said "they" which implies there are two children that you're applying for). I think you're very unlikely to be awarded full bursaries for two children at the same time, but it's not totally out of the question, so go ahead and apply anyway.

Regarding the application forms, they are very likely to be in line with recommendations from the Independent Schools Bursars' Association (ISBA) and the selection criteria may be theirs also.

Remember that by applying for the bursary, you're asking the school (a business, usually charitable but a business nonetheless) to give you for no charge what other parents will be paying hundreds of thousands of pounds for. It's absolutely acceptable that the business wants to know every detail of your financial circumstances before deciding whether or not to award your son a bursary.

A scholarship is a very different matter and is based on merit,so there would be no disclosure needed. Most scholarships, in my experience, are for 10% of the fees.

@ToInfinityAgain At the private school where I work, bursaries are funded by a separate charitable trust, not from other parents' fees. I don't think that's unusual, although it's by no means universal.

That sounds more sensible / reasonable. We were told directly that in our case it was taken from normal fees.

Too clever for state school - might not pass the entrance exam. Hmm.

Try and change state school to one with a "gifted and talented " or "high achievers " programme, might be hard though?

That's my sticking point too. Unless his state school is incredibly shit this is pure snobbery.

(Both my children have achieved extremely high GCSE/A'levels at our local state school)

I understand where you're coming from but if they don't know if you would even be able to afford a place / be eligible for support to afford it, if he did pass the test, they may not want to waste the resources on providing for him to sit the test.

No one is being unreasonable in this situation.

Despite being really quite leftie I did consider pulling out all the financial stops for my son who is dyslexic and not academic enough to manage very well in a big class in an overstretched system... clever kids have a good chance of doing well in an average school... For most people I know who have gone private it's because the DC has problems of some kind, not because they are clever! Fill in the bloody forms.

That’s there criteria for the application then that’s what you have to do.

I’m also sure that this information is keep perfectly safe and confidential at all times and only reviewed by the person or team allocating the bursary’s - so I would worry xx

Recently diagnosed Type 1 diabetic as well and took over management from the start. Doesn’t want me fussing! Took it in his stride and is very matter of fact about it

Just to say, this isn't really the big deal you seem to think it is @MxGrinch . DD was diagnosed at the age of 6 and within weeks she was doing all her own fingerprick blood tests and injections, which she altered according to what her blood sugars were. This is not uncommon, kids like to take control ime.

Also FWIW she later went to a not very good secondary modern school but now has a first-class Masters from a university ranked above Cambridge for her particular STEM field. Seems hard-working and determined DCs can do quite well even if they are state-educated.

How do we know that those bright kids wouldn't have done better if they had been stretched or whatever you want to call it. Wasn't there a study that showed if you told teachers children had a higher iq the children did better at school because they were treated like they could do better?

My 11 year old has been coding and developing games since about age 8 and I was told by juniors he is gifted and talented, my 13 year old got top marks for all his year 7 tests out of 150+ students. However I trust in the state school they go to to help them both meet their potential. It worked with my 18 year old who got fantastic results and is doing the course he wanted at a great university. It even helped with my eldest (22) who has learning disabilities and is finding his own success in the world of work - we are lucky enough to be near good state schools, sounds like OP may not be so lucky where she lives.
However…
OP - your comments have sounded boasting and have obviously rubbed everyone up the wrong way- we’d all like to send our kids to the awesome private school for free so please understand how lucky you are to have the chance you have been offered.
with regards to the ‘invasive’ form, you have no idea!! I bet I have filled forms in that are so much worse - I’m talking PIP forms and help with debt (stories for another time!).
If, after the exam, your son doesn’t get the place at the school, they have to remove this personal data legally from their records within a given time and you also have the ‘right to be forgotten’ where you request they remove all the personal data they hold about you.
There! - no harm done! except for your precious time lost filling out the oh so hard form from records you should already have to hand.
I hope for your son’s sake he gets the education he needs to be successful and happy and that he can grow up to be a decent caring person

They're not going to bother picking through your finances unless they're seriously thinking of offering him a place. Will you even qualify for a Bursury? I'm asking because you weren't aware how much the scholarship is worth. You need to submit the paperwork to show commitment and to get things in motion. You're basically asking them to give you charity of tens of thousands of pounds. It's a vast amount, so you need to play the game.

If your DC is so able they'll ace the entrance tests and that's when you'll have to worry about the school bursar noticing your payments to Love Honey

Boredom isn't a sign of intelligence, btw - it's usually the complete opposite.

This!

Yes, private schools get better results because they are selective. There's no advantage to the individual pupil, apart from the status and networking associated with privileged families.

Just disclose your info for gods sake. What a whinge.

Guessing the form wasn't that complicated in the end, OP, as it only took you about 20 mins from saying you would fill it in to saying you'd completed it. Hardly the onerous task you were making it out to be. Sounds more like this post was simply to tell us all just how clever your son is...

YABU If you want the privilege and advantage that go with private education, you'll have to jump through the hoops.

This might apply on the macro level, but at the individual level you’re looking at particular children and particular schools and some schools are better than others. Being able to choose away from a poorly performing school (or one that performs poorly for your child) is an advantage. Well off parents do this in many ways, moving house, paying for private schooling, or hot housing for the 11 plus in areas with a grammar system.

In OP’s case she probably can’t afford those options but she can try and improve her choices by applying for bursaries at private schools in her area that are better than the school her son is allocated by the state system.

It’s privileged to be able to assume that your child’s state school is going to be good enough. There are many that do a bad job with at least some of the children they serve. And the ones that do the best job tend to be hard for people who aren’t well off to get into - it’s not just academics that make schools selective - leaving them without the likelihood of their children getting a place that will help them reach their potential.

I've figured it our guys; OP's son is in fact Chuck Norris.

I am so relieved to read this post which is the most balanced argument on the entire thread. Thank you.

Yes, to all this. State schools vary. Some DC will be motivated if with other motivated DC but unmotivated if with less good influences. See the thread about behaviour in schools running at the moment! Those at the bottom of the social/ financial scale will not have the same expectations made of them. Accessing the same opportunities is difficult. Enrichment requires resources not always available to low income families. We were lucky there was a charity that paid for 1 extra curricular activity each.. We applied for scholarships and bursaries for all 3 DCs at varying ages. All were given 95-100%. Yes, the forms are intrusive but the price to pay.
Good luck OP, but do you have a plan b in case you don't get the funds?