To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

Most of the kids I know in private schools are from families of IT employees married to nurses, teachers, part timers, SAHPs, public sector employees.

Too clever for state school, but you have concern he might fail the entrance exam for private?

If you have concerns about whether he is being pushed hard enough, speak to his school. My son attends some classes with the year above him - as did his father.

@Dintananadinta

How did he go on to do??

Are you resentful?

why 'they they they'. If he's your brother, surely he is the correct pronoun?

@2Late

nasty.

the 'oh so clever, too clever for school' ones, if they are oh so clever, should be able to source stretching learning for themselves, much more so than the kids that are less able & less well supported.

@PurpleWisteria1 the fees included wrap around care 8-6. Also, lots of extra curriculars included in the fees.

I went to a state school until I was 15 and then got a full scholarship and bursary to got to boarding school for yeasr 11, 12 and 13. Honestly there was no difference in the standard of teaching. All that is different is the ability of parents to pay for tutors and lots of extra-curricular stuff etc.

DS1 is also extremely clever - in reception he was doing work with year 2 (school said he should have been doing group work with year 5/6 but wasnt suitable for a 5 year old to be mixing with kids lots older as social skills etc are also important). We dont earn enough to send even 1 of our 3 children to private school but earn too much to be able to get any sort of bursary and scholarships are only token amounts.

We did say we would consider private for 6th form but actually now he is in year 11 I don't actually think it would be any good. His state school have been excellent, he is in a program with Oxford Uni, and other extension prgrams. DH colleague whos child goes to our local private school (paid for my grandparents) and they are all moaning that not so many private school pupils are getting oxbridge offers etc.

It does always make me laugh when people bang on about private school having much better results - there are a lot of reasons for that.

If a state school could cherry pick people by making them take an entrance exam, be limited to people who either have enough money (so likely to be intelligent themselves in good paying jobs) or able to pay for tutors or people who scrimp to send their child (so likely to be invested in their childs education or people on bursarys whose child is clever, and able to discretely remove children who are not 'up to standard' then state school stats would also be amazing!

Wow. Public schools aren't giving out handouts. What spiteful way of describing scholarships.

The tax payers subsidise private schools who have charitable status through offering scholarships.

Surely if you think he's too clever for state school, he'll breeze through the entrance exams?

Complete it, or don't, entirely your choice, but if you want their money, you have to play by their rules, it really is that simple.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.
Aaaaaw.
Ask DS to complete it for you.
Using his "too clever for state school" brain.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.
OK so don't share it, & leave DS in state schooling.
Are you always this negative & combative? Why do you feel the scholarship application rules shouldn't apply to you?

I lost you at ‘way too clever for state school’ 😆😆😆 That’s really not for you to decide. These places are really competitive and if you want him to even stand a chance then you’re going to have to do it 🤷‍♀️ For what it’s worth, I got one of only two fully funded places at our local private school. They funded everything down to school uniform. My sister was in the grammar school. I would never have gone to private school without the scholarship and am now a criminal barrister.

I hope that is not the norm.
I was reassured that none of the teachers knew who the 'bursary students' were, and the opinion I got from my son was that his friends and peers only knew that he got a bursary if he chose to tell them.
Not that we had any shame in receiving a bursary, but because we are aware that some people have the views you state.

Why do people who can’t afford it want to send their children to private schools? I’d rather have an academically gifted child in a ‘regular’ school not being singled out because they weren’t dropped off in a Range Rover than a in a private school where they’ll be known as the one on a scholarship.

Surely he’s definitely going to pass the entrance test if he’s too clever for state school 🙄

Everyone’s going to know as soon as anyone sees the houses that people live in though aren’t they?

@ShiningStarQueen some would say all barristers are criminal. Did you mean you are at the criminal bar.

@MxGrinch just to take the thread back a few pages, I think the school is quite right to carry out due diligence prior to the examination. There is no point raising a child's hopes whose family don't meet the bursary bar. It's entirely realistic.

Also, these schemes sadly get "played" and the "players" need weeding out. The places are funded from full fee payers and trusts and bequests usually left by former pupils. It is very important schools take care to award bursaries to those genuinely in need.

DD had a friend who got a full bursary. Child of a single parent, LA accommodation, in a very nice block. The mother was Eastern European, had perfect English, they lived quite well. The mother had never done a days work in the UK. I'd have had no objection to anything at all had she done a hands turn.

Compare to a mother who worked as an FE teacher, never able to get a fraction higher than 4 days a week. Too much to get any benefits and again in LA accommodation. No chance of a bursary for her equally clever daughter and that mother was cream crackered.

Haven’t read entire thread but too clever for state school?

OP, get your head out of your arse. I went to a private school and failed to get into Cambridge (got into a good uni but not that one!) whilst my 3 x cousins all got in (and they were state educated).

Not if they "We sacrificed everything, including the shirt on our back" crowd are anything to go by.

Anyway, my son was privately educated for 6th form only. Maybe the novelty of making the students in receipt of a bursary feel like shit had worn off by then, or maybe some of the students learnt by then that using someone's (parents') wealth as a benchmark for friendship or worth was not a good measure.

@Rainn21 not all private school dc are dropped off in range rovers. There are many scruffy cars at the gates. Mine was included.

Compare to a mother who worked as an FE teacher, never able to get a fraction higher than 4 days a week. Too much to get any benefits and again in LA accommodation. No chance of a bursary for her equally clever daughter and that mother was cream crackered.

The school must have had a pretty high bar to award bursaries.

I was surprised my son received so much. I am a lone parent with (at the time) 2 dependent children, a pretty reasonable salary, mortgage, but no other significant debts/loans, no major assets. I think we're pretty comfortable, or at least secure, but when we received the award I was reminded of how some people get annual bonuses probably of the same value as my annual salary, have multiple properties or what have you.

I had a very, very old Nissan Micra (a long story, it served a need). People probably thought it was reverse snobbery!

Yabu for saying your son is too clever for his state school. Ridiculous statement.

Not all people at private school are 'clever'. If he's clever he should do well anywhere.

Yabu also for your original question. You're asking for a free place. Obviously they need these details. Did you wait till you had a mortgage offer before submitting your finances too?

Sorry he's too clever for state, no he's not! You want to try to get a private education for free so yes there's hurdles. Scholarships are usually small as they are not means tested , do check the max bursary before you complete the forms. Yes they are intrusive but that's to stop a person with loads of assets applying

My kids are in private school, both are of average intelligence and one is getting bullied. I could have had this anywhere else and saved bloody money.

Range Rover thing was a generalisation. People will know your child isn’t paying to be there.

The vast majority will be wealthy.
It’s no good saying ‘oh they won’t know’ Yes in secondary they will know by week 2 that you are not wealthy, even if you choose not to say. Just by life experiences and pretty much everything you say. There will be some kinder kids sure but many will be sneering / scoffing behind the child’s back and even if they are not, that can be something the child is paranoid about. As I said upthread, feeling like the poor one who can’t do the same as your peers is miserable.