I am not the keeper of all things - AIBU to be annoyed with DH

[SpookyPanda]

My DH has taken to asking me "do we have any xyz?" "Is the xyz dirty" "where are my xyz?" Its giving me rage. Today he was asking if we had any sellotape - he was right by the place the sellotape lives and I was in the middle of dealing with toddler DC.

AIBU to snap?!

have done this so many times. He just goes "well I can't find it" and then I give in and find the thing usual in front of his eyes. Do you think as he never used to do this it's something for him to see a doctor about?

YABU for giving in!

I've decided I'm going to go for this approach

I like the new approach.

Every morning ask him where your clean knickers are

Think of this as a game which you are both playing. Then stop playing it. Stop being google (or however you might think of it). Leave him to it more. He'll work it out.

@ICanHideButICantRun - Brilliant - I am going to try that idea 💐

God. The bliss of living alone.....

😅

My DH has ADD and constantly loses things. He constantly asks and I used to reply but now I don't. After 25 years of it I've earned the right not to. I just pretend I haven't heard.

My H has been doing this for all 17yrs. And when I ask where something is, a few times lately as my brain fog is getting bad, I get I don’t know. but I can’t even believe that. A while ago I put some covers for the stroller on a shelf in the garage out of the way. Then thought I should get it all together to sell and couldn’t find themz. I asked where they were, he swore up and down he hadn’t seen them. He was away so I thought I’d clean up the garage and going through some boxes in the corner found them shoved down the bottom of a box with something else and another box in the box on top of them. I certainly didn’t put them there and neither did the Dc. He can’t understand why I’m so angry all the time.

I have a husband AND a son and I’m telling you that I will NOT play that game no matter how hard they try and make me. Seriously makes me want to lose my shit.
I will either say “Use your own (fucking) brain”
”Do you look with your mouth or your eyes, because just bellowing from beside the fridge is looking with your (fucking) mouth. Using your eyes will reap better rewards.”
Or the wild goose chase.
”Where’s the sellotape?”
”Freezer.”
Bellows after having checked futilely in the freezer “Why would anyone put sellotape in the (fucking) freezer???”
”Pretty sure they wouldn’t.”
*That one is fun.

It’s just a lazy thing they tend to do. My ex was the same asked where things where while standing beside them. My mantra always was same place it was the last time as everything is left back where it belongs. If he moved it he used to huff and start a row if I didn’t hand him it. Hence why he’s my ex! Always started a row about nothing

we have a find jar. I charge 5 quid for every time I find something that someone in the household has claimed they can't find and they have looked "everywhere!! It's just gone!!".

I get it a lot at work
Men will ring us to ask when their MOT is due
I load up the website, type their reg in and access the system which is available to anyone and you can even set a reminder, and tell them
Surely it's easier to just Google it?!

I had such fun yesterday! I needed the anti-bac ointment and it was nowhere to be found. Now, DH has a habit of taking it out of the bathroom and putting it by his chair for who know why. So I told him "I can't find the anti-bac! Where is it?" He insisted it was in the bathroom I said it isn't. Whereupon he went to get it because he knew it was there. He ended up searching the house for it whilst I sat in my chair with a very sad face and an 'ouchie' on my finger. He eventually found it, in his top dresser drawer!

It was glorious!

You dh definitely thinks all of this wife work is your job.

I would sit down and ask him to stop asking these obvious questions. He is to take it for granted that you don't know AND don't want to be bothered by these questions. You are busy and these questions are interesting your thought process. Tell him that if he asks those questions you will ignore him. Then ignore him.

Try not to say "you have got painted on eyes mate! ".

The more helpful you are the more reliant he will be. Just let him get on with his own stuff.

Try countering with your own stupid questions:

DH: where's my shirt?
OP: not sure, when's my next dentist appointment?

Jeez! After reading this thread I am glad I live alone.
After doing the 'dont know' maybe three or four times of asking I would be asking him what he would do if he lived alone. Because that's what would be happening if he didn't stop asking where things are when he has a perfectly good set of eyes. And if he wears glasses tell him not to lose them before he signs the divorce papers 🙄

I have an insane useless encyclopaedic memory for anywhere I’ve ever packed or stored anything. I can tell you where the sellotape would have been kept in a house I lived in 20 yrs ago. My rule is that if I was the last person to touch it I WILL know where it is.

however if that place is the correct place. I will NOT divulge or discuss. Other than to say the Thing is Where It Should Be. Or not.

Otherwise the only answer i give is ‘up your arse‘ and if he questions that, then ‘er…up my arse?‘

seems to work

I like this one! I used to tell mine (OH and kids) that if I had to stop what I was doing to find something they couldn't, it would be going straight in the bin. They usually found what they were looking for fairly swiftly.
See also : staring into food cupboards claiming we have no beans because they're not on the front row of tins.

Exactly @iloveorange ! My husband is not capable of looking (and finding) (for) anything! Where is The Object? It's in the top drawer, in the back on the left. No it's not. I drop what I'm doing, go to the drawer, lift A Thingy that's on top of The Object, hand husband The Object. He claims he can't find things if I keep stacking other things on them. But it's impossible to keep all your stuff in single layers, isn't it? You need to use your fingers to lift and find!

The worst is when my DP will say something like, have we got an open jar of marmalade (or something similar) and I’ll say, “yes, in the fridge” and then he’ll say “whereabouts?!”. The rage.

The think is you dont do it. You need to say "i dont know" and theb nothing more, no words and definitely no actions!! He keeps doing it because you give in. Stop giving in and doing it for him and eventually he will stop. Or he won't but you will be much less irritated

The think is you dont do it. You need to say "i dont know" and theb nothing more, no words and definitely no actions!! He keeps doing it because you give in. Stop giving in and doing it for him and eventually he will stop. Or he won't but you will be much less irritated

Most excellent. I’m using that one. Thank you.

I would estimate that he is the same as 99.99% of the male population. Possibly an underestimate.

You are 100% not unreasonable but it is also 100 not unexpected. IME men seem to be incapable of taking any sort of responsibility for their personal lives when a woman is even remotely within earshot

@stuntbubbles

I’m a writer so if I’m pottering around the house I’m usually daydreaming about a scene or letting a plot point work itself out in my head then I get interrupted by “Do we have any milk?” as if he’s allergic to opening the fucking fridge

That sounds like it would make a very good comedy murder-mystery story