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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weight Loss Gone Unnoticed

86 replies

Miggymoggymugwumps · 13/11/2022 10:46

Ok so this is light hearted but was just wondering why none of my friends/relatives have noticed I've lost weight?
I started quietly dieting & adopting a healthier eating regime in March this year after weighing in at 12 stone 6lbs. I'm now down to 11 stone and nobody except DH has even noticed!!!
He says it's probably because I'm tall and so isn't that obvious. But I've recently met up with 3 different friends who I haven't seen since either last year or for several months and nothing, nada, zilch...I've lost a stone & 6lbs for goodness sake😂
I can certainly see a difference so was just wondering why nobody else can!

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 13/11/2022 10:47

I can only assume because they love you & don't see your weight, but rather your worth, if you see what I mean?
But good for you! You've done amazingly well. :-)

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/11/2022 10:48

I’d never comment on someone’s weight - a lot of people really don’t like it.

If you want them to acknowledge it, then bring it up yourself.

incognitocheeto · 13/11/2022 10:48

I think it takes quite a big weight loss for people to notice.

In the past I've gained and lost about a stone multiple times but the only time people noticed was when I lost over 2 stone.

Try not to overthink - you have done really well and should be proud of yourself - don't worry that other peoples thoughts are.

Dotcheck · 13/11/2022 10:48

Are you dressing differently? Sometimes when people lose weight they continue to dress in their same clothes which makes it hard to to tell

KnickerlessParsons · 13/11/2022 10:48

I'd say that either they are too embarrassed to admit that they thought you were overweight in the first place, or that you didn't look as overweight as you thought.

Well done though - it's not easy, is it?

Castaspell · 13/11/2022 10:50

It doesn't sound dramatic enough that anybody would notice especially if you are tall. A family had lost a similar amount between us seeing her at Xmas and then a family event in the summer and after her husband realised no one was wowed by her appearance, kept pointing it out like it was some kind of achievement to be celebrated, and pointing out how hard she had worked - I hadn't noticed that she looked very different at all.

Skiphopbump · 13/11/2022 10:50

I done comment on peoples weight/ change in body shape because I hate it when people do it to me. Maybe they’ve noticed but would only mention it if you clearly wanted to talk about it.

HouseOfRunners · 13/11/2022 10:52

I made the mistake of telling someone that I noticed she’d lost weight…won’t be doing that again! Maybe people have been told “it’s not about how overweight or slim I am” and now just prefer to remain quiet.
However, well done from me 👏🏼 I’ve struggled with fluctuations in weight my whole life and know the will power it takes.

Clymene · 13/11/2022 10:53

Some people have lost weight through illness rather than through trying. I don't comment on either weight loss or gain because of that.

OnlyFannys · 13/11/2022 10:54

It's odd, I lost quite a lot of weight during quarantine and nobody really noticed, recently lost a further 10lbs and everyone I've seen since has commented so perhaps it just wasn't quite enough to notice initially but now my body shape has changed enough that it catches peoples eye more.

Shiningstarr · 13/11/2022 10:55

I've lost this amount before, and people don't always notice.

I had to lose 3 stone for people to start commenting.

Keep it up, you're doing so well.

defi · 13/11/2022 10:58

I think if people see you all the time they hardly notice the transition. Also you probably carried the extra weight well. I've gone from a size 20 to a 16 and only two people have commented so far.

Miggymoggymugwumps · 13/11/2022 10:58

Not worried at all as have done it for myself. It's been flipping hard going at times but I do feel better and my clothes fit so much more comfortably
I am 5ft 10 so maybe my tall frame concealed the extra pounds more than I realised😂

OP posts:
Cherryana · 13/11/2022 11:04

-Friends like you for you and most of the time are looking at your face and listening to your voice
-Everybody is just thinking about themselves
-Most people don’t notice anything

I get for you, it’s consumed your thoughts and affected your choices. Losing weight is a difficult thing. For everyone else - it’s not on their radar.

Loachworks · 13/11/2022 11:08

I'd never comment on anyone's weight. It's just rude. You never know if it's through illness. I'm underweight and you'd be amazed at the comments I get, as if I hadn't noticed. I've even had them ring DH especially to say something, like we don't know I weigh 6 stone and have a feeding line (which isn't visible.) I don't think they would have done the same if I had gained the same amount.

MintyGreenDreams · 13/11/2022 11:10

I'm 5ft 10 and if I go from 12ish to 11ish people comment that I've lost it.Well done! I'm trying to do the same atm

Stopandlook · 13/11/2022 11:11

If you’re my friend - I have noticed! I just don’t comment on peoples weight unless asked.

Berlinlover · 13/11/2022 11:12

When I lost a stone a few years ago my cousin said “wow you’ve lost a ton weight”. I’d have much preferred if she had said nothing.

chickeningonup · 13/11/2022 11:12

I'm 5ft 1 and went from 11st 6 to 8st 3

People only started mentioning it when I was around 9st

I was devastated 🤣

Cavagirl · 13/11/2022 11:14

I lost the best part of a stone before anyone noticed (size 14 to size 12) and then it was like suddenly an extra 2 lbs and the world commented!! I think there comes a point where your shape changes and people notice. Also you might find the confidence to wear more slim fit clothes and people will suddenly see it.

Agree with PP though - I never comment now - having experienced a colleague who I'd not seen in a long time essentially yell across the office "OMG Cava! You've lost so much weight" and everyone turn and look - when I'd just dropped a dress size - I really wanted the ground to open up - so after that, just no.

FOJN · 13/11/2022 11:15

I'm another one who doesn't comment on weight. I rarely comment on someone's appearance at all. I think women in particular are put under too much pressure to look a certain way and I don't want to be involved with reinforcing that idea by making approving comments when they have moved a bit closer to societies idea of the ideal.

If you feel better and more confident then enjoy that.

Ilovemyfairylights · 13/11/2022 11:18

There’s an app called Model my diet where you can put your height and weight and then your target weight . It physically shows how you would look at those weights, I couldn’t see any difference for one stone weight loss for myself which wasn’t very encouraging . It is quite interesting to see and you can adjust the target weights to see when there is a visible difference.

BagOfBollocks · 13/11/2022 11:19

Sometimes weightloss has to be quite a lot before anyone notices.

But if you read MN you'll see how many people have felt insulted when someone has said they've lost weight, and they actually haven't.

I think some people are just too nervous to mention it and more so when it comes to women.

Gufo · 13/11/2022 11:19

Haha, same OP - I'm the same height and have gone from 12.2 to 10.10 since April. No one has said anything either - I think our taller frame makes it easier to carry an extra stone or so.

TellMeWhere · 13/11/2022 11:20

You have to lose quite a lot before people who see you regularly will notice. It was probably closer to 2 stone for me before people actively commented on it. You just don't see it if you see someone regularly.

Weight loss isn't always planned. One person double checked to make sure I wasn't sick before passing comment.

Someone else essentially accused me of having a gastric band, which I found rather insulting after working so hard!

Sometimes the silence is more pleasant Smile

Well done though! Do you have photos of your progress? You'll get plenty of support on online forums if you want some validation (MyFitnessPal etc).