Weight Loss Gone Unnoticed

[Miggymoggymugwumps]

Ok so this is light hearted but was just wondering why none of my friends/relatives have noticed I've lost weight?
I started quietly dieting & adopting a healthier eating regime in March this year after weighing in at 12 stone 6lbs. I'm now down to 11 stone and nobody except DH has even noticed!!!
He says it's probably because I'm tall and so isn't that obvious. But I've recently met up with 3 different friends who I haven't seen since either last year or for several months and nothing, nada, zilch...I've lost a stone & 6lbs for goodness sake😂
I can certainly see a difference so was just wondering why nobody else can!

I’ve just tried that Model My Diet page that a PP mentioned. It’s surprising - a 1.5st loss looked a lot less dramatic than I expected it to do.

I agree that more people than you think may have noticed but nowadays it can be seen as impolite or tactless to comment.

I never comment if I notice that someone's lost weight. I don't like my own weight being commented on (for good or bad) so extend that to other people. And sometimes I just don't even notice that someone's lost weight unless it's been a very dramatic change.

I heard the saying... one stone you notice yourself, two stone your friends notice, three everyone notices

Yes, I'm a stone lighter and the only person to comment is my husband as he knows I'm wearing one size smaller dresses. No one else has even commented.

I think it’s like haircuts, you have to go very drastic before anyone notices.

Its because we all have a picture of someone in our heads and we don’t notice small changes that don’t match that impression.

I never comment on weight loss in other people, for many reasons. Firstly I don’t know if it was planned or down to illness, stress etc and I don’t like the assumption that all weight loss is automatically a good thing. I lost a lot of weight when I was in a very bad place mentally and having well-meaning people commenting ‘wow you look amazing!’ when I was feeling absolutely awful inside was really confusing and also a constant reminder of how my illness was affecting how I looked on the outside.

I also don’t want to reinforce the idea that thinner/lighter automatically = better. I don’t want someone to wonder ‘did I look that bad before?’ and I don’t want to mess with someone’s long-term body image if they put the weight back on again. I lost a lot of weight in my early 20s and everyone made such a fuss about how amazing I looked and it then meant I just chased that unattainably thin weight for over a decade until I finally got comfortable in my body again.

I also just don’t think someone else’s body is mine to comment on.

If someone proudly tells me they’ve been actively trying to lose weight and they’ve lost however much, then I’ll always be happy for them and tell them I’m really pleased they’re feeling so good and they must be proud of how hard they’ve worked. But I would never look at a friend and say ‘hey you’ve lost weight!’ unprompted because I don’t know how welcome it would be.

I've lost over 10 stone in the last 2 years and barely anyone has mentioned it.

Although I like it like that. I didn't do it for people to comment.

Thanks for all the replies. As I said it was a light hearted post and I'm not seeking validation or masses of congratulations, I just thought these friends (who incidentally wouldn't have any issue on commenting about weight) might have noticed especially as I hadn't seen them for a while!
For those who've asked I've managed to lose the weight by eating lots more fruit and veg, having smaller portions, calorie counting and not snacking on rubbish between meals. However I'll be honest when I say it has taken a lot of willpower especially as cake and biscuits used to be my downfall - I'd easily polish off packets of biscuits or cake instead of lunch!
I'm aiming to lose another half a stone to get to where I was pre-children...although that was a lifetime ago!!!😂

@Bubbles2022

congratulations!

and any tips?!

It sounds like you weren't that overweight though. If it was me I would not like to say to someone 'you've lost weight' because it implies they were overweight before, and I don't want to say to someone that they are or were overweight because it's none of my business.

That's how I feel. Unless it was a huge amount of weight and very noticeable I would want to not say anything, so maybe it's that.

Because no one thinks about you anywhere near as much as you assume.

Yeah the taller you are the more you can get away with a couple of stone.

Actually at 5 foot 9 I've been 12 stone down to 10 stone and no one said 'oooh you've lost weight' to be fair.

But when I went down to 8 stone it was noticeable as me being underweight because 10 stone is my optimal weight.

I deliberately don’t comment on weight loss because I don’t want to reinforce the idea that getting smaller is always to be congratulated. I especially don’t want someone already at a healthy weight (sounds like you were) to feel smaller = better.

But if you were trying to and you feel better: well done!

I felt hurt that no one commented on my huge weight loss when I hadn’t seen them
for aeons.
Turns out that they all thought that I was incredibly ill. I thought I looked great. Looking back, I was like a skeleton.

I think you have to loose about 2 stone before people notice

@Miggymoggymugwumps

I think I agree with your husband. Because you are tall (as you said,) one and a half stone would not be that noticeable. I am 5 ft 3 and a half inches tall, and was 13 stone 0 pounds in 2015, so I went on the 5/2 diet. I also walked 2 miles a day every day - 5000 steps - and lost 20 pounds in 17 weeks - a stone and 8 pounds. No-one said a word,.

I had dropped from 13 stone 0 pounds - to 11 stone 8 pounds and not a dickybird!

Then I dropped another 8 pounds in the next 6-8 weeks, 2 stone in all, and DD said her boyfriend asked if I had lost weight after seeing me pass his office window in town. Then a lady at Church asked if had been 'slimming,' and I said 'yes I have been trying to lose weight...... ' 'Well it's working' she said, 'you look thinner in the face, and your hips and waist look narrower!'

So it took TWO STONE for people to notice. Going from 13 stone 0 pounds, to 11 stone 0 pounds, and I am 5 ft 3 and a half inches tall. So yes, it IS possible people are not noticing. They will do soon if you lose more. I didn't care that people didn't notice mine for ages, because I was doing it for me, and not to impress anyone else.

It’s probably not as noticeable as you think

Id not notice a stone weight loss on friends unless it made them look unwell

I’m not as tall as you but lost 2.5 stone before anyone noticed
when I lost 6 stone people kept telling me I was tiny and to stop (I was still slightly overweight)
sadly I regained most of it over last 3-4 years and am trying again
ive only lost 1/2 a stone but my clothes notice it even if others dont
well done on your losses

I lost over a stone in about a month during an ED bad patch and no one said anything. But I also get “have you lost weight??” comments fairly often when I definitely haven’t 😂 I think sometimes people just notice you look different for whatever reason eg more confidence, different clothes, carrying yourself differently etc and put it down to weight.

I have been steadily losing weight for the last 12 months and nobody noticed at the 1 stone mark. At 2 stone the people who knew I was working on weight loss noticed. Only now at 3 stone are people I meet occasionally commenting on it. I am quite tall too and I think I hide my weight well - which also makes it hard to notice when I lose it.

Unless you were already very thin, people don't tend to notice a stone unless you suddenly start wearing very tight stuff...and if you were always in loose stuff before, they might just think that you were that size already. People really don't know your body as well as you do. A stone feels like a lot and it is a lot, but on most people, it isn't a massive, dramatic change in appearance. It also depends on how you carry it.

Enjoy the health benefits and personal satisfaction - you know your achievement and you can see the difference.

I lost 2 stone before people noticed. And actually I was going through a really stressful period in my life and people were congratulating me. I felt so uncomfortable when this happened cos I was miserable.

I too would never comment on anyone's weight loss or weight gain.

When I was a teenager I complimented someone on their weight loss and they went on to tell me how they're suffering from an eating disorder. I learnt a lesson and never comment on weight again.

So people may have noticed OP and are just rightfully not commenting on it.

I hate people commenting on me so rarely comment, except for a couple of people. (Who bizarrely assured me they hadn't lost weight they were just wearing flattering clothes lol.)