To think men are just chronic?

[heyto]

Always have the same men phoning/messaging me on a Saturday night even though I consistently don't respond. These are men I haven't seen in years and years and met back in the party days when I was out all the time.

What's their plan here? To just phone and message and send me pictures until I reply?

I have this one very persistent guy who I went on ONE date with over a week ago. Told him after that I wasn't interested. At first I responded when he continued the conversation (my mistake) out of politeness but he has been consistently sending me messages without a response since the last reply.

Pictures attached in comments.

Are all men this chronic? I'm not even overly attractive, I'm very average so I wonder what beautiful women must go through.

I think sometimes with men you need to be quite bunt to get the point across. I would personally reply asking them not to message me again. If they do then block.

@Squiff70 her post and title make complete sense. A word can be used in different ways. I'm from Liverpool and I heard it used a lot to refer to something being absolutely rubbish or pathetic.

Chronic doesn't mean what you think OP.

If you don't like the messages then your option is to tell them or block them; most people don't keep random one-off dates on their Facebook friend list, because they aren't actually friends. Then you've just switched to say you find it amusing, so that means you do like it, in which case what are you moaning about? They think you will reply, in fact I can see in one of your messages that you have replied, though you tried to hide the text. It's up to you to deal with this or carry on enjoying the attention, but whining about it is pointless.

No I didn't 🤣 I said I responded to that guy a few times after telling him I wasn't interested out of politeness. Literally say that in the OP and if I was trying to hide the fact I did respond then why would I post it? God some people on here are chronic.

If you don't want to talk to Barry then why did you reply to him and add a kiss? Tell him to leave you alone, then block him.

And no, chronic doesn't mean whatever you think it does.

The message says "Oh dear that's not good x". It's right there in your OP. It doesn't say "I'm not interested, stop contacting me.", it says the opposite.
When you send sympathy and kisses to these men, why are you surprised when they message you again? Do you buy things online and then complain when they are delivered? Don't goad for attention and then moan when you get it, it just makes you look foolish.

Yes it does, Google it. Chronic can mean 'of very poor quality'.

I personally think the only one that looks foolish here is the man that texts 15 times with no response.

She stopped speaking after sending him a kiss FFS. She’s the rude one here.

That’s why it’s a cruel thing to do to someone. Send
Oh dear that's not good x"
and then ghost. It’s not on.

Stuff the semantics. The issue is that the OP is replying to these men, adding kisses, keeping them on social media and admitting they find it amusing and then posting about it.

Seems like the OP's life is a chronic really...

Ffs just block them

When you send sympathy and kisses to these men, why are you surprised when they message you again? Do you buy things online and then complain when they are delivered? Don't goad for attention and then moan when you get it, it just makes you look foolish

1000 times this, excellent post.

I saw my first boyfriend online the other month. He's living in Australia now. Brought back so many memories so I messaged him and asked if he remembered me and asked how he was doing...no agenda just genuine question. He messaged back with a nice message..end of..so I'm not sure it's that odd.

I've never heard chronic used to describe this kind of behaviour. It's clearly a regional colloquialism. But it makes perfect sense - long-term is obviously exactly what it means here. Like a chronic condition, the men are persistent and keep recurring over a long period of time. They're not a new pain, that's exactly what OP is saying.

Yes, and the OPs behaviour is chronic too... keeping inconsequential men on social media, responding to their texts because she finds it all amusing

Some of the responses on here are frankly disgusting. She’s been ‘cruel’ because she sent one message with a kiss (which many MANY people do out of habit or politeness) and has not replied since? Is he not a fucking grown up? What exactly does she owe him?

Yes, she could block but she doesn’t want to, and why should she have to? Why is pestering acceptable? Why are we so quick to dismiss the predatory behaviours of men, and equally speedy to pin such harassment on the most trivial of ‘invitations’ of women? You’ll be asking if she’s wearing a short skirt in her profile pic next.

Honestly, if my son were to act in such a way I’d be ashamed of him. As ought the PPs on here be of themselves for adopting such an accusatory tone in their response. Internalised misogyny at its finest. Grim.

And, sorry, to answer the question you posed OP; yes some men are woefully chronic. And I believe it’s the continued excusing of such behaviours that enables them to persist as such.

You have both my sympathy and empathy.

@Thewonderofyouth
Is she “not a fucking grown up” too? No one is a psychic mind reader. Not responding to messages after being friendly and sending kisses and such with zero explanation is called ghosting. Stop excusing her cruel behaviour.

Any “fucking grown up” knows that if you don’t want to keep communicating you TELL the other person. You don’t go silent and then find it “amusing” when the other person tries to make sure you are ok.

Internalised misogyny- bingo!!

More like misandry. Toying with men like a cat torturing a mouse. Just message them you’re not interested and not to contact you.

@Onnabugeisha precisely.

I expect the OP also posts those 'cryptic' FB statuses, implying something awful is happening in her life and then refusing to answer when people ask 'ok hun?'

It's really fucking childish and annoying

@Onnabugeisha no no, you’re right. She’s a big bad bully for ghosting him 😂

Next time I don’t get a reply from anyone, I’ll just bombard them with messages. Oh wait, no I won’t, because I’m a fucking grown up that is capable of realising that doing so would constitute harassment. Even if my itty bitty feelings are hurt 😢

Big bad bully? Hmm, I'd describe it more as childish and manipulative. Unpleasant and clearly chronic behaviour whatever you want to call it

I'm curious as to why you have them in your Facebook friends?
Can't you Unfriend them and block them?

I've never had any such messages but only have actual family and friends as Facebook/social media contacts which I suspect helps.

Some men can be persistent and nightmarish. It's not good and shouldn't be acceptable. Unfortunately the only way to stop it is to block them and unfriend them.