Friend has posted this on FB

[Conkersareback]

Am I missing a double meaning with this? Or should I be concerned that my friend is feeling low and I should reach out to her? It's an
unusual type of thing for her to do if she is publicly saying how she feels.

People seek attention because for some reason they need attention.

I never quite get why people want to ignore a friend who is wanting or seeking attention. Give them it - they need it for whatever reason.

I joke about this with my husband. We are both not the favourite. If I was posting it publicly I think I think something major had happened that had really bought this home and upset me. Definitely time to give her a ring.

I'm sorry

She's not showing as active yet, so I'll give it a while longer.

Hope she is okay op you're right to check on her.

I agree.

Is she the family scapegoat?

Recommend some good youtube channels if she is. Jay Reid, Patrick Teahan, Jerry wise.

I am the lowest rung in my family. My purpose is to make them feel superior. Sometimes I press ''like'' on comments under psychology today articles about scapegoats and or silent treatments/stonewalling/defensiveness as I really relate, have been through it all. This might show up in my brother's feed and he will no doubt roll his eyes at my ''drama''.

The horroe!

I'm morally superior so I go my whole life trying to be ignored and never ever seeking any kind of validation from others. In fact, I exist in a sealed pod where my sense of superiority meets all my emotional needs and keeps me warm at night.

Jesus. Take a look at yourself.

She's not pathetic, that's a really unkind thing to say.

I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to find out.

Not everyone can be strong, she's reaching out and I'm going to help her.

This post has made me realise why people end up extremely mentally unwell, because people "don't want to be friends with them", because they need a little tine and help.

OP you’re a good friend, ignore the negative nancies on here, I hope your friend is ok…and at the very least I’m sure she’ll appreciate your call, no matter how she’s feeling

Reading the FB post critically, its crafted nature suggests that it is meant to be a 'poem'. To me, it does not read like a cry from the heart, but it does read like genuine teenage angst. (My qualifications for arriving at this conclusion are careers in education, publishing and writing.) I think it may have been fiund on the internet. Does your friend write? The original implies there are at least 3 sisters in the writer's family. Is your friend actually one of three or more?

But I agree- get in touch. If she were my friend, I'd ask her what site she'd found it on, and why she posted it. If she wrote it herself, then I'd do my best to help; in fact I wd suggest counselling.

Yeah it's attention seeking but I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing. Someone is feeling low and seeking attention and connection with another human being. Maybe it is just a pattern of annoying behaviour or maybe it would save that person's life knowing someone sees them. You never really know and I'd rather give someone that attention and it be a waste of time than leave them feeling isolated and desperate.

Seeking attention or validation is not a bad thing - it's what we do as humans to meet our emotional needs. You could reframe "attention" as "human interaction". Still sound as bad?

The phrase "attention seeking" has a bad press and negative connotations, when all it essentially means is someone is seeking interaction with another human - an entirely normal behaviour that as all do daily. In fact, if you've posted on this thread you've done just that, as @ReneBumsWombats has so articulately pointed out, did you post here to be ignored and feel invalidated? I'm going to assume not.

People go about seeking interaction with others to meet their emotional needs in different ways. Some use social media. It's not wrong, just a different way of seeking to meet a very normal need that we all have.

OP - you sound like a lovely caring friend. I hope your friend is OK.

Check. I have just lost someone close to me who chose to end it. None of us saw the signs. We will be beating ourselves up about it for the rest of our lives.

Op well done for choosing to reach out to your friend because your noticed a worrying post that unusual for her.

I’m confused about the “attention seeking” type comments. Every post on SM is attention seeking isn’t it- posted to be viewed by others? That’s the whole concept of social media.

I know a few people with significant mental health needs. Some regularly post things online like this, others don’t even have social media. I don’t think posting on social media, or not, is a reflection on how worthy they are of support for their mental health.

Attention seeking, you ok hun territory. I know someone who'd post rubbish like this, it's fishing for likes and comments, which the same group of people usually bite and respond.

A few people I know (who you really wouldn't expect) admitted having mh issues recently via fb they all wrote a long ish post outlining what they were feeling and what had been going on, not attention seeking, they were also signposting other people to places of support too. I'd reach out to a post like that. Mass share rubbish like this is "look at meeeee, I'm bored".

Gah. This is a dark side of so called society. Everything has to look okay. My neighbour told me recently that his daughter was struggling with her mental health but was also at pains to make sure I didn't tell anyone. It hadn't occurred to me to do so but his desire to keep it like some shameful secret is so bloody sad, for her, for him, for society. Facebook is an extension of this, it's like a contract we all agree to, to make out we're all super happy and we force it on others too. It's like 'if I have to pretend I'm always happy then everyone else should too'.

How were the second group of people not attention seeking? Did they post in hope of being ignored?

It's not necessarily that she's not strong. What she posted could be an attempt to speak the truth about her family. A truth that might see her branded mad, bad, sad, ''not strong''. If she's a good friend I'd listen to her and validate her experience.

I also would roll my eyes and think it's attention seeking.

I don't think anyone disagrees that having emotional needs is anything less than a human basic.

Personally I try not to have my emotional needs met by others (friends) as it's too much for others to take on and they all have their own stuff going on.

If I needed to, I would book to see a therapist.

Emotional needs are not limited to mental health problems and trauma. Otherwise none of us would have friends at all. We'd just have therapists.

What I'm wondering is why so many people are still FB friends with people they clearly can't stand and haven't even put them on mute. Is that a sign of a sincere or sensible personality?

Sounds like something Prince Harry might post..

Honestly, I'd roll my eyes too but, if it was unusual, I'd phone.