Leave 16yr old to party while we're away overnight?

[Lors72]

16yr old SS wants to have a group of friends in our backyard pub on a Saturday night. Numbers not clear.
SS asked knowing we're away on an overnight & in response to
us asking SS to come watch the dogs as we're away until following day.
I've said NO. Husband said YES. He tends to never refuse his kids requests.
But no adults present for a group of teens in a pub & empty house for 24hrs not on.
Am I being mean?

No! Obviously SS has access to the house so no doubt it’ll end up indoors, then what about the dogs? They are quite likely to be terrified. The kids will get over not having the party and will no doubt remember this when their own children ask for an unsupervised teen party. Potential nightmare on so many fronts!

Just one ‘friend’ puts this on Facebook or similar and all the freeloaders will be around. You need to stay there or another relation

Oh god no way, utter madness, my dd had her 16th at home me and dh was at home, started off lovely, in the end I called the police, it was horrific, gatecrashers ruined it, climbed over fences to get in, drug dealers turning up, it put her off ever having a party again
this is a disaster in the making, what if something tragic happens, I’m sure you would be held responsible
my dd now 18 and has a gathering as it’s called, 10 people at most

Oh this brings back memories of DS 15th party...we were in house too. By 9pm we had to collect all the alcohol in ( we didn't provide any) as they were all bladdered.

Party carried on fine and all had left, bar a few by midnight...thought we'd nailed our first teen party...until the armed response unit turned up at 5am...in full riot gear and blue flashing lights cos neighbour complained about group of lads running up and down our road, into park and back out again ...

.....we didn't have another one

I would rather chop both my nips off with rusty scissors than do this!
no matter how sensible you SS is, you can’t control what other people do and it’s a recipe for disaster.
I have the most sensible 16 year old son but I’m afraid this would not be happening as it really is a bad idea.

Oh my life! I know I shouldn't laugh, but assuming no one was hurt, can I?

What did the police say?

Just another experience of leaving a teen with friends over, like others have posted.

There's a big difference between having a few friends over in the house and throwing a party in the garden. It isn't the SS or his close friends. It's others turning up. How many stabbings are there under these circumstances? Even at adult parties were random people turn up, there's fatal fights. That's beside from things getting broken and stolen.

Others could only turn up if they were told. DS and friends are on Discord and see FB as being for their mums. Making the point that teens can get together in a group without parents and without others turning up or the house being trashed. I agree that large amounts of alcohol being available is a problem.

Indeed. Although, I'm 64 and we used to regularly go to 'parties at classmates' homes' when I was 16-18 and (obviously) no Internet, etc. Word was passed round at school.

They ALWAYS resulted in carnage, much vomiting, etc. And we all brought LOTS of alcohol. Some people did not treat the host's home well...

We let our DS (16) have a birthday party at our house over half term, and we had a night away. It was a bit messy in the morning, but not too bad. Nothing broken. But we did limit numbers, and as far as I could tell, he stuck to them. Also DS (18) was there.

I don't know if I'd allow it if I were you, it really depends on the teemager I think. If I were to, I'd definitely remove any alcohol from the bar. They can bring their own, I wouldn't be providing it.

@Athenen0ctua you weren't away overnight, it was four friends not a party?

It's totally irrelevant to what the OP is asking.

It's a no from me. I think that you should both be singing from the same hymn sheet. Not good.

Conkers.... well I slept through it, it was DH who had to open door in his boxers and crocs... police gave lads a right talking to and they were cowering ....I don't think they were very impressed especially as they were the only unit available to go out!

Oh we do laugh about it now ...DS is now 23

No way. Even if the SS was the most sensible and only invited a few, word gets around and dickheads gatecrash. No 16 year old could physically stop a group of older gatecrashers from doing whatever they wanted to.

It was a 'group of friends' the same as the OP says. I was away for a few nights each time. Not sure what makes it a 'party' or rather a gathering that is not a party.

My siblings were also living together at 17 and early twenties, the 17 year old being the mature one. Frequent gatherings involving alcohol, no unwanted gatecrashers or other issues.

Sometimes you don't need any further responses than the first one

I'm fairly relaxed and liberal about most things - but noooo!

My first reaction was ‘that would be amazing!’ But then I realised I was very much imagining this from the POV as myself as a 16 year old and the havoc we would cause! Snapping myself out of it and imagining it from the POV as the adult mum I now am… yeah maybe not 😂

My husband was in the police, affluent area, teenage parties were regular call, house trashed, drink and drugs. On such party involved serious drugs, one boy passed out was put in the garage and next morning dumped in the road as he was dead! Is your DH aware that you cannot claim on your household insurance for damage done as the guests were invited?