To ask if you've ever met an 'alpha' male ?

[ALPHAquest]

If so, what were they like and what made them an 'alpha' in yours or their eyes?

Genuinely interested in both positives and negatives after a thread where Op mentioned her DH was an alpha.

Totally this - the ones who would describe themselves as/strive to be Alpha are awful.

The ones who actually are Alpha would never utter the word in relation to themselves! Typically clever, accomplished, charismatic, confident, empathetic and extremely attractive.

Got a name or handy link? I'd like to read up

I think the phrasing of alpha and beta was used about chimps. They regularly cannibalise other chimps so not sure if it translate well to human society. I think people who think of themselves in those terms suffer from insecurity. if you have to use terms to aid you in a process of comparison against other men all the time then you have low self esteem.

Most of the men I used to work with are alpha males. Lots of the local dads are too.
I’ve since had a career change and it’s so refreshing working with polite techie geeks instead.

The self proclaimed ‘Alphas’ are generally on the same level as the other gurning idiots who say ‘I’m mad me!’.
The most tragic posts I’ve seen on Facebook recently is your woman Sue from down the road gushing over hubby Steve ‘a true Alpha’.

There is no such thing. And anyone claiming to be one is to be avoided at all costs. It’s code for “I’m a total cunt”

I think you have misunderstood the phrase “alpha male”. Your husband is not one.

Yes, they 'hold court' at any gathering, assume the leader role and conversation seems to be with the intent of getting the next laugh from the room, at anyone's expense. Know several and they are dominating men who I keep at arms length, not to be trusted.

I’ve worked in the City for 20 years

i can spot them a mile off and I have mastered the art of drowning them out in meetings and social situations

It’s a heady mix of childhood issues meet ASD and/or NPD in most of the ones I’ve met and worked with

Well, we either share the same DH or they were twins separated at birth!!! 😂
Meant light heartedly of course!

Totally. I know the syndrome.

A very large proportion of them are alcoholics or substance abusers and a lot of them are serial cheats.

Avoid.

Yes. They're always wankers.

A loud empty vessel who has extraordinary self believe in himself.

There’s the Alpha Male and the Wannabe Alpha Male.

The Wannabe Alpha Male is a loud, self-centred knobhead who thinks he’s the bees-knees and likes everyone to know it. He always plays the bad guy in movies.

The Alpha Male is secure enough in himself without needing prove anything to anyone. He has a quiet confidence that isn’t arrogance. He is capable of being kind and gentle without thinking that it shows weakness or emasculates him in some way. He is not afraid to follow his own path even if he is subjected to ridicule by others. He always plays the good guy in movies.

I've met alpha men and alpha women. Good leaders, confident, well spoken, capable of understanding the needs of others and working to see that their needs are met in a mutually beneficial way. Resourceful. Compassionate. Strong and steadfast.

But anyone whoo claims to be an 'alpha' probably just a bellend with a god complex.

Same thing for Mr arrogant who doesn't claim to be yet seems to think he is better than everyone else. Being physically strong/confident/arrogant/balzy/brave or brazen, does not make you an alpha. Nor does taking things you want without regard for reason and other people. It just makes you unevolved.

An actual alpha example - Aaragon from Lord of the rings.

A ģod complex example who claims to be an alpha - joffrey from game of thrones.

Oh please, alpha 🙄

The only thing more tragic than a man calling himself alpha is the simpering fool on his arm.

Nobody can be 'alpha' in any situation can they? You'd have to be thick skinned and arrogant to think you could be. The 'alpha' types I've met have been dominating pains in the arse who stopped those around them from being themselves and contributing. Best avoided.

Dwayne Johnson to me would be an alpha male. Could walk through fire to save you whilst holding teeny tiny baby bird in his hand

This

Met plenty of men who think they are alpha males turns out they are arrogant pricks. Zero respect for anyone elses opinions particularly women's. Loud, brash, can't stand being wrong, belittle others and general knobs.

I’ve never met an alpha male, that might be because I’ve always worked in office roles and all the alphas are firefighters, in the army etc. I would consider someone like Ghengis Khan an alpha.

This is what an alpha male is. I too married one.

I don’t know what your husband is like @PortiasBiscuit but I find that the alpha males I have been with (have a definite alpha type) are often quite lonely.

They support others, are usually in a leadership role even if not the actual boss. And people (especially younger staff) will look to them almost as a father figure type role. This makes it hard to just make friends as people often need something from them.

Bruce Willis has played the alpha male in many films hasn’t he? Heroic, smart, supportive, lonely.

Big, gym-hitting, loud-mouth man does not an alpha make.

Yes - i come from a family of them.

I prefer an Alpha male to a beta!!