AIBU not to help DD out with childcare?

[reesep]

DD has a son with special needs age 5, and a daughter age 1.

She has requested I look after them one day at a weekend, every month. She has also requested I do some daytime childcare during the school holidays

This is so she can get into nursing. She's desperate to be a nurse and has been accepted into a Healthcare Assistant role on bank, meaning she can pick shifts

AIBU not to provide such rigid help? It's too much of an expectation and I can't handle it

I do feel bad but it's just too much. She also lives 1.5 hours away so it would mean bringing the DC here

AIBU?

Totally agree

It’s possible to say yes to one thing without saying yes to another thing.

My guess would be that the OP knows her daughter well enough to know how this will play out.

Yes, and as such it's best OP is open and upfront about this right from the word go.

Better than her posting in 3 years time my 18 year old won't talk to me and has moved out. My 13 year old is trying to move in with their 18 year old sibling and keeps refusing to come home. They both say I neglected them to look after my difficult and violent elder grandson while leaving them to look after my granddaughter, who was a baby.

That’s not my point. We need to know ourselves well enough to know when people are asking too much of us and when to say no. If we know ourselves, we can look after ourselves and even if we say yea to one things we can be firm enough to say no to another thing that would be too much for us.