to not want to collaborate with annoying co-worker?

[russetmellow]

My line manager invited expressions of interest from colleagues for an individual to undertake a specific project with a very fast turnaround. It's an area I've a lot of experience in (more than colleagues) and I'd love to do the project and could do it super-fast. I applied, outlining experience etc.

I got an email today saying two of us applied and as such what would I think of sharing the project? The other person is notoriously tricky and hasn't even 10% of the experience I do in the area - our line manager even indiscreetly described them as 'a very difficult person.' Think someone who gets very huffy if they feel overlooked, walks out in a temper at times etc. I haven't had to work very closely with them before but have seen how they behave and have been at the receiving end of their deeply intemperate behaviour.

I asked the line manager if we could split the task and they said 'well wouldn't you like to work as a team?' I said something along the lines of thinking it would be quickest to work individually - but let's see what the other person thinks.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that the terms have changed from an individual taking on the project, and that if I have to work with this other person it's likely to take much longer and be trickier (due to their personality) than if I just did it alone? NB I work in a sector where individual projects are the absolute norm and I rarely if ever work as part of a team on this sort of thing. Any advice for how I can handle this?

I see why you might think that, but it's a project that needs to be done outside work hours with a very fast turnaround (c.3 weeks). So not really much scope for capacity building, and as I'm not in a mentoring/managerial role in relation to the other person there's a lack of clarity around how decisions get made on the project etc so I can see it being a tiresome mess. Off we all have to start somewhere, but this project isn't shaped for that - I'd have no problem w a tricky person, even this one, if it was over a longer period of time and properly structured so they could learn something properly but don't think it's a good fit.

I know it’s a boring MN reply but: stand up for yourself. If this colleague would hamper the project then (politely) say so. It’s the hanger’s job to tell them it’s not for them this time and deal with whatever fallout comes from that.

*manager’s job

So the LM has already stitched you up before...

Send the email withdrawing from the project. You realise you don't have the time outside of working hours to complete it.

Good luck.

This line is perfect "it's a project that needs to be done outside work hours with a very fast turnaround (c.3 weeks). So not really much scope for capacity building"
I'd reply with that.

Yes, they have stitched me up a number of times. And have a very strong tendency to sideline/ignore difficult people and land easier people (like me) with extra work. I go along with it much of the time but have started trying to point it out over the past few months - not in a very confrontational way, just articulating that I've covered X work in addition to my usual tasks, and asking if LM wants to move certain work off my plate when I'm asked to take on additional work rather than be continually willing to do far more than most of my colleagues.

Standing up for myself in this particular case is a further attempt to make things a bit fairer and 'encourage' my LM to actually manage people who answer to him.

You say they have stitched you up before, but you also were keen to do the project when you thought it was a solo project and you do get time off in lieu which you also stated was valuable to you.
So I don't think it's completely fair to imply your are being done over here.
Your manager seems a bit weak..but has asked you if you'd consider it...you can just say no thankyou.

I do get your point about the project not being appropriate for a training exercise.
I'd leave your colleague to it ..

Thanks for your perspective. Yes I was definitely keen to do it as an individual project. I don't think I'm being completely done over, no, and sorry if I implied that, it's probably as much a fear of feeling coerced into taking on more than I wanted to.
I've been trying to assert better boundaries in work a bit more over the past year or so but sometimes struggle with that, so I'm unsure whether I have a skewed perspective on what constitutes reasonable behaviour at work which I suppose is why I posted on here.

This is what I would do. Focus on the inefficiency of a shared project and keep it non- personal. Offer to have one meeting when it’s done to show awkward colleague how you approached the work. If the line manager tries to push back, stay polite but firm, and withdrawn.

Yes to all this. I can't see most blokes giving this too much of their mental energy - they're more likely to be applauded for their clear decision making skills in this instance. 🌹

If you're looking for a future promotion or new employment at all then this could be great experience. There are loads of techniques you can use to work with this person and get the best out of them.

Also sometimes you have to call their bluff if you really don't think it'll work, otherwise you'll come across as the bad guy.

I’ve read all the ops posts and this is absolutely a case for ‘hi lm, upon reflection I will be unable to do the project in a shared capacity to the timeframe demanded. As you know I’m very familiar with the requirements and could comfortably although it would be a little bit of pressure, fit it into my schedule turn it around on time. But adding c will take more time for agreeing work, reviewing outcomes and let’s be honest I’d be upskilling them quite a bit which is a different piece of work entirely. I think people development is a really important part of work life and I’m happy to do that kind of thing but there needs to be time allowed. 3 weeks isn’t enough for me to both do the project and train C. Do let me know if the deadlines can be extended, I’d love to do some work in that area. Good luck with it!

I don’t think it gets the op tagged for promotion. When line managers appease the tricky people and load work onto the ones who will go do it without complaining, they rarely also recognise those quiet achievers with accolades and promotions. To handle managers like that you need to be much more directive and have boundaries.

She won't. The bloke will do nothing, take all the credit, use it to get promotions and jobs that the OP should be considered for and she will be hired to support him in his new venture.

That's not what I was saying at all - although I disagree that it wouldn't demonstrate to her direct employer that she is promotable.

I meant it's great experience to draw on in interview and helps build your skills as a leader. Anyone can work with the people who are the top of their game, it takes skill to get the best out of the others.

That's a very bitter view.

Ok we don't live in a pure meritocracy but it's rather easy (and lazy) to have the view that success is out of your hands and it's all down to the patriarchy

I would politely bow out OP.

Thanks, I already manage and have managed people including difficult ones and collaborated on different projects so I don't feel I need the people part of the project as experience. In fact I don't need it as experience for me, I'd just like to use this part of my expertise and be recognised for it in a straightforward way w/o adding shouty less experienced colleague into the mix.

Ultimately, my main motivator is that it would be extremely handy to have all the time in lieu as I've a lot of pressure at home - one of my DDs has SEN and could do with some extra support which I'd be able to give her with that time off, particularly as I could take it just as she will be finishing up in her current educational setting and moving to a different one, which she'll need a lot of prep for. So it's a toss up between potentially trying to take unpaid leave (unlikely I'll be able to), doing this thing I could do quickly, sucking this up, or standing my ground.

This isn't a drip-feed or whatever MN call it, just explaining why I'd like to do it.

So what approach are you going to take? Are you going to politely decline or work with a horrendous person knowing full well they will probably take credit for your work?
This is on your manager for not having a back bone to make a decision.
I personally would politely decline.
Working with toxic people is not good for any one's mental health x

I've a meeting on Thursday w LM about it so will try to come up with a solution before then. My current instinct is to outline my concerns to the LM and ask if extra time will be allocated to it now that it's changed from what was originally outlined. Or ask if we can split the tasks so I can get on with it, control how much time it takes and the LM can deal with managing the other person.

You've had some excellent advice on this thread. Your latest response seems to indicate giving LM more options.

Too fudgy imo, you are over complicating it. Go into the meeting and ask for what you want (to do it alone) and politely decline anything that doesn't work for you (you volunteered originally, it wasn't a three line whip, and someone else has volunteered so you are not leaving them in the lurch). OK if you do want the time off, then ask to do it alone as your starting position and if turned down, which I doubt you will be, then compromise. You are holding the cards here, don't disadvantage yourself. Why so hard to ask for what suits you?

Runningintolife gives good advice.

Know your worth and be assertive. You volunteered on one set of terms and they're trying to change things to an arrangement that doesn't suit you.

You hold the cards. They can either let you work independently and manage the fall out from moody colleague, or they can hand the project over to the moody colleague and accept the poorer quality that comes with it. What they can't have is all the quality of your work, and pass the hot potato of the moody colleague onto you to deal with.

From my years of experience I know that a solo project will [work better/create more impact/align with strategy goal 6] - I'd suggest that I am appointed for this project and would be happy for Knobhead to do the next similar opportunity that comes along.