to not want to collaborate with annoying co-worker?

[russetmellow]

My line manager invited expressions of interest from colleagues for an individual to undertake a specific project with a very fast turnaround. It's an area I've a lot of experience in (more than colleagues) and I'd love to do the project and could do it super-fast. I applied, outlining experience etc.

I got an email today saying two of us applied and as such what would I think of sharing the project? The other person is notoriously tricky and hasn't even 10% of the experience I do in the area - our line manager even indiscreetly described them as 'a very difficult person.' Think someone who gets very huffy if they feel overlooked, walks out in a temper at times etc. I haven't had to work very closely with them before but have seen how they behave and have been at the receiving end of their deeply intemperate behaviour.

I asked the line manager if we could split the task and they said 'well wouldn't you like to work as a team?' I said something along the lines of thinking it would be quickest to work individually - but let's see what the other person thinks.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that the terms have changed from an individual taking on the project, and that if I have to work with this other person it's likely to take much longer and be trickier (due to their personality) than if I just did it alone? NB I work in a sector where individual projects are the absolute norm and I rarely if ever work as part of a team on this sort of thing. Any advice for how I can handle this?

I would withdraw interest and cite you are concerned that working with this other person will increase the workload of the overall project due to extra meetings etc, and you are already feeling stretched with your current work workload.

Under no circumstances would I offer my services to answer any questions etc - because what is stopping the co-worker from trying to push their workload onto you?

Plus you are assuming they don't have the experience or knowledge - how can you be 100% sure? I have been in workplaces where my co-workers really have no idea of my background, skills and knowledge.

Life is way too short for this - lots of good answers on this thread about how to say you're up for it as a solo project or not at all. It would be a nightmare with this person - don't do it to yourself! Best of luck.

No dont take this on and leave yourself at the mercy of this difficult person. Say you applied under the impression it was to be an individual project and you have your own ideas for it.

This!! You are a professional and need to be able to work with 'difficult' people. Especially if you ever wish to progress up the ranks. This could be a great experience and you'd always be able to give and example for the dreaded interview question "tell us when you have worked with a difficult colleague". You can aways come back here to vent.

I absolutely know they don’t have the experience or knowledge, I know their entire employment history and qualifications.

Your comment about you not wanting others to have this knowledge / experience because you want to be seen as the expert speaks volumes.

I stand by my earlier comment and think you're creating issues where there probably aren't any because you want your own way.

@HotDogJumpingFrogHaveACookie there is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen as an expert in a field that you have worked and trained in! There is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be forced into a mentor/trainer role without any consultation or discussion of renumeration for the extra time and effort that would be involved.

The fact that you think there is something wrong with that is puzzling.

I totally agree.

It can take a lot of time and effort to become a subject expert. It's fine if you are mentoring someone who is respectful and values you knowledge but that's often not the case. What often happens is that people (sorry but generally younger people) either think they know better or quite happily take credit for work that isn't even their own. I think the op could potentially be heading down this route if she agrees to engaging with 'pain in the arse' colleague on this joint project.

What are you talking about?

I was giving my opinion on the op to the op.
I'm not sure where you think you came in.

I wouldn't touch that with a bargepole...

I'd just say that "I feel a joint project would increase the hours required to do the job, and wouldn't be in the companies best interests. I'd be interested in doing this as a sole project but can't take on additional hours to teach someone else"

Let them know you'll still do it, but not with this other person!

Well I put time, money and effort into gaining the qualification and experience and competing for jobs that required that expertise. I don’t mind other people gaining experience but they’re not going to be able to in three weeks as opposed to many years! And why wouldn’t I want to be acknowledged as an expert in a particular field?

Absolutely right, @russetmellow - why shouldn’t you be proud of your hard-won achievements?

Thank you SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius, I should add the gender politics in my workplace are also a bit of a factor here, with women often encouraged to take on more pastoral roles and not being promoted despite often being more qualified than male colleagues. So seeing as I've put in the time and effort I'm a bit annoyed at the prospect of being made to work with someone much less qualified for half the time and pay allocation when there will be more time and hassle than if I just did it alone.

Might need to summon up the courage to put on my mn 'big girl pants' and just say what has been suggested to my line manager. I know I'll regret it if I don't and hope there won't be too much fall-out.

Might need to summon up the courage to put on my mn 'big girl pants' and just say what has been suggested to my line manager. I know I'll regret it if I don't and hope there won't be too much fall-out.

Please do. Your employers sound terrible, I’d be looking for a new jiob.

OP, can I ask how you'd feel about this project if the other applicant was keen, willing to learn, even-tempered albeit with little experience? Would you still feel resistant to doing the project together even though it would unquestionably add to your workload?

i agree with saying you’d applied knowing it was a singular task but sadly don’t have enough time to do a collaborative piece at this point in time. However After completion, you’d be more then happy to meet with tricky person and talk them through how you went about the project. This way you are helping this person become skilled up without enduring the trickiness.

Perhaps not, particularly if it was set up so it was specified that I'd be mentoring them. Although what's annoying me in this case is that this person is known to be difficult and described as such by the line manager, and I applied to do the project as an individual one and had a strong sense of what that would entail.

In case it's relevant - I've worked with people who have more experience than me and benefitted greatly from that, and have worked with people who have less experience than me including managing a number of people, and mentor people willingly for free outside my working hours. So - I am interested in capacity building, but in this case it feels like it would be a total headache and not on terms I signed up for.

Blablablaaaaa thanks, that might be a good idea.

Agree with all others stating the withdrawal. Think you'd be setting yourself up for a possible career damaging fail. Outcomes likely to be.
-the colleague is poor at engaging with you and its a shit show- they say your fault as you didn't help/were mean/wouldn't listen
-the colleague is obstructive and it's a shit show- see above.

• Colleague does bugger all and takes credit
• on off chance does go well as pp says weak boss now uses this as opportunity to forevermore palm them off on you as 'you do so well together'......

Someone who is huffy at work and has a temper they are not afraid to show is not just a tricky person but completely unprofessional.

Why was their interest even considered if the initial spec was for a fast turnaround and an individual job? They applied believing they had the aptitude for it when they plainly don't: talk about Dunning Kruger syndrome!

You would be pissing in the wind if you had to work with this person: it will take more time than needed, the "tricky" person won't learn anything from you even if it's framed as you mentoring them because it seems they over-estimate their competency and you will be on the receiving end of their moodiness and temper when they feel out of their depth, plus no doubt fielding complaints to your boss/HR about you not helping them (aka not doing their job for them). I'm all for knowledge sharing and teamwork but with people like this, it's an uphill struggle.

Your LM is being weak and shuffling this on to you rather than tell Tricky Person they don't have the skillset to execute this particular project within the defined parameters just yet.

I don't quite get it, you have been asked how you would feel, not told (at this stage). You can say that you want them to choose one of you, and sell your abilities again. Let them do the managing.

Well if I was brutally honest I think you're probably right.
Why was their interest even considered if the initial spec was for a fast turnaround and an individual job? maybe because the LM knew they'd kick up a stink as only two of us applied so the rejection of my angry colleague would be clearer than if 4 or 5 of us did? And the LM is as others have said completely weak and loves passing on problems. They have previous for this (the LM) - two of us were supposed to run something a few years ago and the other person didn't pull their weight at all and left it all up to me. LM knew but didn't do anything until I went to HR asking for advice. So maybe the LM is resentful that I showed them up a little bit? I do generally get on ok with the LM but they love passing on their problems as I think the case is here.

Another perspective is..the other person might want to gain experience in this area hence went for it...after all someone gave the OP her first chance at doing a project once upon a time.
The colleague might not be tricky with the OP ..they might be really keen to do it and learn.
I think it's not about being kind ,it's about being part of a team, recognising we all have to start somewhere and once someone took a chance on us, or gave a bit of extra time or put themselves out to give us experience.

LM is a rubbish LM. They can't say no to awkward colleague so have passed this to you. This does not sound like a project for mentoring or capacity building. You need to be be factual and concise in presenting why not (and therefore why you won't be doing this jointly) to your LM. Plus if I were you I'd be job hunting....the culture sounds crap...

Your line manager doesn't sound very good at managing OP.

This was never advertised as a mentoring or training project and wasn't advertised as a collaborative project. It's just become this because it's convenient for the line manager to avoid managing a tricky colleague, who is probably behaving the way they do at work because nobody is willing to challenge them professionally.

The previous posters are right for you to regrettably withdraw. Say you've assessed your workload and time, plus the time for the project and the additional hours required for collaborative work and it doesn't work for you right now, so you'd be happy for your colleague to take the lead this time.