to not want to collaborate with annoying co-worker?

[russetmellow]

My line manager invited expressions of interest from colleagues for an individual to undertake a specific project with a very fast turnaround. It's an area I've a lot of experience in (more than colleagues) and I'd love to do the project and could do it super-fast. I applied, outlining experience etc.

I got an email today saying two of us applied and as such what would I think of sharing the project? The other person is notoriously tricky and hasn't even 10% of the experience I do in the area - our line manager even indiscreetly described them as 'a very difficult person.' Think someone who gets very huffy if they feel overlooked, walks out in a temper at times etc. I haven't had to work very closely with them before but have seen how they behave and have been at the receiving end of their deeply intemperate behaviour.

I asked the line manager if we could split the task and they said 'well wouldn't you like to work as a team?' I said something along the lines of thinking it would be quickest to work individually - but let's see what the other person thinks.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that the terms have changed from an individual taking on the project, and that if I have to work with this other person it's likely to take much longer and be trickier (due to their personality) than if I just did it alone? NB I work in a sector where individual projects are the absolute norm and I rarely if ever work as part of a team on this sort of thing. Any advice for how I can handle this?

I would also see it as a development opportunity, you can take the lead on the project and train them in something you’re already an expert in.

I was also recognised as a department wide expert in an area. My job was 100% more enjoyable when I stopped doing all the legwork myself and trained up other experts on each team/office. In the end my role was challenging guidance and creating guides to help walk people through the process

Nope. The other person sounds like a headache.

Tbh it’s not really something someone can be trained in quickly - and it won’t be known who took the lead. It’s similar to being a specialist trainer with this project being speccing out the actual contents of the training. I can imagine the other person putting something together after a fair amount of guesswork but they haven’t actually done that sort of work before and have no experience of actually delivering the thing that’s like specialist training whereas I have years of experience in it.

I got an email today saying two of us applied and as such what would I think of sharing the project?

Managing people is a nightmare, instead of thinking about the question asked and delivering a diplomatic but honest and reasoned response, you fudged it and now it’s more complicated.

I’d email along the lines of: On reflection, the project sounds interesting and I’d be a good fit but in this instance I’d only be interested in taking full ownership. I’m happy working collaboratively but I think this specific project can be more efficiently managed by one person.

Ok thank you. I asked did LM think it could be split into two parts (i.e. both work independently), he said why not do it as teamwork, and I said that it would be quicker to do it independently and I'd get back to him to let him know once I'd thought about it - so maybe a slight fudge but I haven't agreed to anything yet.

@russetmellow - I’m sympathetic and from your posts I think working with this knobhead will really annoy you and it’s just not necessary.
Is the goal of the project training Knobhead? Not as you’ve described it. Is the outcome best achieved by you teaming up? Not as you’ve described it. Then why should company or state funded resources be wasted facilitating this dicking about just so a weak manager doesn’t have face disappointing a high maintenance employee?

Thanks and yes, way too much dicking about. The other resource is my time and energy, and that’s the main thing that will be wasted as I’ll be expected to do the work within the same envelope of hours as advertised but it will take much longer if collaborative.
Said manager has a slightly disingenuous ‘be kind’ agenda - disingenuous as they also bitch and gossip about colleagues behind their back so that’s adding to the frustration, the manager’s raised eyebrows when I said it would be quicker to do it as independent tasks when he absolutely knows this person would not be easy to work with. Grrr! Anyway, thank you all so much for your replies, I’ll try not to stress about it and keep it in proportion and get some sleep! Thanks again MNers, you’ve been very very helpful

Well, some managers are very good at saying, 'be kind' and 'take care of yourself' while simultaneously pushing difficult team members and too much work onto you. Very little recognition of 'be kind' and 'taking care' from them so I just tend to ignore this sort of pressure now.

One thing I would keep in mind is that if you enter into this arrangement it could lead into further joint work with this person or any other difficult sod. Is that what you want? If you do something well once, you'll generally find that becomes your job by default. I'm very diplomatic and good at dealing with angry people and this became my job in one particular company. I would get all sorts of ranty difficult types directed my way to sort out problems and have really difficult conversations that weren't actually my fault or anything to do with me. I bloody hated it!

Your #bekind manager is pushing this onto you because they are afraid of saying no to Pissy Pants and unleasing their fury. I would withdraw and say at this time you aren't looking for a team project. Otherwise in a few weeks you will be knee deep in crap and regretting it.

*One thing I would keep in mind is that if you enter into this arrangement it could lead into further joint work with this person or any other difficult sod. Is that what you want•

no it’s not what I want! And yes that’s true about being seen to be good at something - I did some (voluntary) diversity policy work and got asked to do more but pushed back as it’s only been women who get asked to do diversity or pastoral work in my workplace and it’s not an area I want to specialise in any more than I do as part of my lived experience!

To be honest, I'd call their bluff and say you want to withdraw your application as you understood it to be an individual project

I would do this, too.

I don't think it would be churlish to withdraw your application, it's not the position that was advertised, they have changed the goal posts
I think your manager knows exactly what they are doing and is palming this problem onto you

Could you say something like you think 2 people would be over resourced and you're sure the other person can handle it by themselves but you're happy to answer any questions they might have.

I'd also withdraw.

There's no win here for you.

Either you say no you want to do it alone and then your coworker sees her arse. Or you agree to work together and surprise surprise difficult co-worker is difficult, the project takes twice as long, colleague has tantrums and argues with you about things that you are vastly more knowledgeable on and when the project is eventually done (mostly by you) colleague goes round claiming they did it.

If colleague was just a normal colleague then I wouldn't be saying this. I'm saying it based on how you describe them.

I also tend to think. "What would a bloke do?".

They'd just be direct!

None of this, I'm on hand to discuss and support incredibly difficult colleague. No, the goalposts have changed and it's no longer what's been advertised. It's okay to change your mind.

Teach people how you want to be treated.

Yep! I’d have no problem doing this with other colleagues who would be easy if less experienced but working w someone who has frequent hissy fits and has been paranoid and very deeply negative to me in the past might just be not worth it.

The fact they've asked you suggests to me they are legitimately asking if you're up for that or not so I wouldn't worry about saying no, it's just how to say it.

No way would I agree to do a fast paced project with a difficult person who isn’t bringing any expertise.

Your manager is being weak, cos he doesn’t want to say no to the other person, and maybe is hoping you’ll train them up a bit. Sounds like a win for the manager, a win for the other person (who will take credit for a lot of your work), and a nightmare for you.

You say you don’t want drama but I’m afraid you’ve got drama. Your manager has left you with only two options: work closely with a nightmare person, or reject them. I would definitely pick the second option.

It doesn’t have to be big drama though. Just email the manager “I’d understood it was a solo project and volunteered on that basis. If you’re now making it a joint project then I’ll need to withdraw the application as I wouldn’t be interested in that.”

I wasn't suggesting @russetmellow said that @IncompleteSenten , I was stating the reason I would be withdrawing , Jesus...

Absolutely withdraw.

Your boss doesn't give a damn about dropping you in it with a very difficult person.

There is nothing to be gained from it.

Your bitchy boss is utterly disingenuous and I think this project could be a nightmare that bites you in the arse and one you bitterly regret.

Far better to kill it now, firmly.

You applied on one basis and now realise it is no longer a good fit.

Beware of that boss of yours.

Sending that email to you both was wrong of HER.

She should have asked you directly, privately, if she was changing the brief.

If it causes a problem, thats on HER.

Most likely the other person will want to take credit for your expertise, I'd back out using the excuse someone else suggested, the changing nature of the project etc

If I was you, I’d be following up that you’ve rechecked your workload and availability and due to time constraints you’re only available to deliver the project as an individual exercise.

As someone else has pointed out, on top of how difficult it’s likely to be to work with this person, it’s likely to be the thin end of the wedge in terms of being asked to collaborate more.

Don't pander to this guy for the hope of a titbit of recognition - the way it will go is you do all the work, he takes the credit and gets the promotion and you will be shoved in to help him set it up and then be moved back to your role, or even kept as his underling.

Don't fall for it.

I'd withdraw but do it as if I'm doing them a favour
I feel this would be more efficient as an individual project and I'm happy for co worker to run with this one so I'll withdraw

I’d bow out.

stroppy co-worker doesn’t sound like they can deliver. I’d sit back and wait for the shit show.