AIBU To call this sexual harassment/report to school

[PronounMadness]

Year 7 kids (aged 11/12).

Boy says to girl sat next to him in class - unsolicited - “would you rather suck John’s dick or Mary’s tits?”

John and Mary are both sat at the same table and hear this.

Several friends think this is sexual harassment and should be reported. Girl involved doesn’t want it to happen again or escalate and is happy to discuss with teacher. One or two friends agree it is inappropriate but don’t consider it sexual harassment as those involved are all children, not adults.

So, AIBU, and WWYD?

I feel concerned for the boy who said this ..... the school need to know about this. It raises alarm bells as to what he is being exposed to out of school.

Some of the replies on here explain a great deal about why men sexually harass and abuse women and women are expected to put up with it.

I’m 1000 years old. This didn’t happen to me at 11, but at 16 I was being shut in a professional kitchen freezer to make my nipples hard and being pinched/slapped on the arse by much older men - all banter, of course.

And my job often involves dealing with cases of sexual harassment and paedophilia. The stories I could tell you would make your hair stand on end. So my filters are pretty tight.

It’s not sexual harassment

You know most boys will be asked the same thing right?

Some of these comments make me remember why so many on this site struggle socially, absolutely wild views on what’s normal.

Yes but thank God we have moved on
Report it and let the school deal with it
It needs stamping on

Of course this isn’t sexual harassment, if you’re the parent of the girl you need to really get a grip fast as this is quite basic shit.

It really isn’t basic shit. Not in my school, nor the ones I have family / friends teaching in. It needs to be reported to the DSL. In my school I reported a similar (but more mild) thing and it was dealt with by the DSL the same day.

My friends DS who is in Year 9 now at a mixed school was suspended last year in term 5 for 3 days for sexual harassment after telling a girl in class that " he found her hot and he had an erection"

Then loosen them

Your child will end up suffering if you escalate this, I’d also be concerned at the level of resilience I had instilled if my child even registered this as an event

Its so, so normal. And is often asked to boys as well as girls

At 11 most children will find blowjobs and tit sucking amusing, the shit that was said in year 8 when I was at school when a handsome new teacher joined would make some on here’s grey hair stand on end.

It's inappropriate & I would escalate.

@Tandora I understand what you are saying but even if it does get reported what do you think will happen? I can assure you the 12 year old boy isn't going to change his ways, at that age boys especially are little shits. He will continue to say derogatory things in front of his friends when no adult is around. It won't change anything

Well that is sexual harassment, saying he had an erection is menacing quite frankly

Only the girls were asked questions. Not the other boy present.

I’d also be concerned at the level of resilience I had instilled if my child even registered this as an event

I’d be concerned about the self esteem and self worth of any child who didn’t register this as an event. And I’d be even more worried about children whose parents didn’t realise that these kinds of comments are unacceptable.

So only one boy present?

this is the secondary school version of snog marry kill.

Sometimes called kiss, suck, fuck.

this site gets more amusing by the day

People saying it's acceptable and normal: would you say this of a young man saying the same things to a co-worker in the workplace?

@Pewterschmitt really at 12 I'm pretty sure as a girl I would have been impressed I had made him like that. I'm 32 so not that old either!

I would respect your daughter and leave it be. I would also be careful it wasn't part of a wider conversation she doesn't want to tell you about. It could be she doesn't want it taking further as she knows it will come out she was joining in the conservation with the table and the other lad took it further than she wanted. Would you rather was a common game at our school at that age which some people would cringe about now.

This is gross and is sexual harassment. This should be reported to the school and they can go through whatever procedures they have in place. The boy involved should be made to attend some sort of workshop and reflect on his behaviour. His parents should definitely be informed. John and Mary should also be given any support they need if they want support.

Brilliant, parents of girls need to get a grip, not the parents of these boys 🙄

Grown women aren’t expected to put up with this shit at work, so why do you think it’s ok to inflict on little girls?

This.

Shocked that anyone thinks this is normal or acceptable behaviour.

I'm not sure whether the sexual "knowledge" kids have now is worse or not, than the ignorance of previous decades 😬

I would definitely report to the school and it is definitely sexual harassment. I completely disagree with @Pewterschmitt. That attitude just allows misogyny to flourish. School should not be a hostile environment and little dicks like that need taught that their behaviour is completely unacceptable.

Wow, how fucking sad that we live in a world where an 11 year old CHILD is meant to have experienced enough sexual harassment already, that shes built up a resilience to it.

Report it to the HOY.

No. There were 2 boys. John and the one asking
the girls questions. John was a subject in the questions but not asked any questions himself.

Completely unsolicited when the teacher’s back was turned. She’s very happy for John and Mary to be asked what happened.