What's the most wildly inappropriate thing to ever happen to you?

[badassbaby]

I'll start...
When I was 19 I was working as a waitress in a holiday hotel.
I was having a wild, incredibly exciting relationship with the hotel manager, who was a good 15 years older than me.
Guests would fill out feedback forms on the hotel.
One day my boss (Restaurant manager) called me into his office. He showed me a feedback form that stated the guests weren't able to get a proper nights sleep, due to incredibly load love making all night long from the room above them.
The restaurant manager then pointed out that the room in question was the hotel managers room (his boss)
I can't remember what I responded, but when I think about it now, what the hell was he thinking of?!? And why question me about it and not the hotel manager?
I had the arrogance of youth so of course carried on exactly as before 😂
So what's yours?

I've known young people of both sexes abused by older people in authority - a fair number of Mrs Robinsons among them.
I'm reminded of the words of a very articulate man, jailed due to a miscarriage of justice and finally released decades later. He said that criminals are predators who prey on those weaker than themselves and that he, as a non-criminal had been forced to live defenceless among them for twenty years.
These predators; bullying teachers, supervisors, managers, doctors, backstabbing-colleagues etc so often seem to get the benefit of the doubt (did we her that right, are we being too sensitive) and it always seems to be much later - often too late that anything is said.
So often these abusers get credit for their actions because they 'tolerate no nonsense' or 'maintain necessary discipline'. I don't know what the right way to deal with these people is, but I'm glad that posters here have been able to unburden themselves.

Years and years ago.

I was a very young 23 yr old. Had a job working for the Personnel Director. Old fashioned secretary/PA role. He would regularly go out to lunch and come back pissed. I learned never to ask him anything on afternoons like this as he got verbally frisky.

He bought me occasional gifts, but always over expensive to my broke self.Ie Harrods watch.

He was 20 years older than me and married. He invited me out to dinner one evening and we went to a very posh restaurant. My menu had no prices on. He drove me home (I lived with my mother), and grabbed me just as I was about to get out of the car and snogged me with his tongue! I just got out the car as fast as I could, but didn’t say anything.

I gave in my notice not long after, and he asked it it was anything he did. Of course it was, but I said ‘oh no, I just want to change jobs”.

I had another boss before this who was about 40 years older than me, who also bought me things, record player, clock radio. I just thought he was nice. Then I found him rifling through my handbag. I left that job as well. Found out after that a girlfriend who knew about the presents, had independently gone to him and borrowed money off him. In return she had given him a photo of me (perfectly innocent photo by the way).

I was so not street smart I just didn’t clock that if an older man buys you a present, it is not because he is super nice and just likes you.

I’ve had a few inappropriate experiences in my youth, but it’s the recent ones that I’ve found the worst to be honest. naively thought things might have moved on a bit, but it seems not.

I started a new job a year ago and have been sexually harassed in different ways by three different men, including my boss and his boss. I was followed around the office by one particular man for months. I reported them all and got appropriate support and there were consequences for them.

However, once word got round now I’m the spoilsport ruining it for everyone and people are being told to “watch out for her” - and the most vocal about his have been women.

I have NC as obviously this is very personal, but I will share something about a woman being inappropriate for a change.

This is something I have never forgotten or forgiven. Because of some things going on in my life when I was very young (early 20s) I had to give a supervised urine test. Obviously supervised by a female nurse (I am female). Of course, this was an already excruciating experience. I was coping with it by pretending in my mind that I wasn't there, and to this end I had my eyes closed and I was kind of humming softly. The nurse stood there and laughed out loud, and said "how funny, you look like you are praying". Terribly humiliating. How could a NURSE be so insensitive?

I posted one of my many experiences earlier and have been reading others since. So many are heartbreaking, but I also hope empowering for you all. Actually writing them down (probably as as I did) for the first time - it’s felt good that I did!!

I’ve realised that when I was younger I felt I couldn’t say no and didn’t really have control. I let things things happen that shouldn’t of out of fear of being embarrassed/laughed at/humiliated. Now over 25yrs later I wouldn’t hesitate in speaking/shouting out and I will make sure my daughter knows how too x

When I was a very naive, very young looking 17 year old the son of a neighbour took an unhealthy interest in me. He was 35 and a real medallion man, he visited his Mum every weekend in his flash sports car.
He turned up on our doorstep while visiting his Mum, asking to speak to me. My Mum (what was she thinking!) called me down and he chatted about music and had some Bowie albums for me. I had never spoken to him in my life and politely declined the albums and said cheerio. He came back again days later offering to take me out in his sports car and visit his night club. My Dad sent him packing but still cross with my Mum all these years later.

So many.. I was working as a TA when i was 19 and my friend's dad was the teacher in that same classroom. One day i was hanging something up on the wall and he walked up behind me and squeezed my bum. He made this 'funny' squeeze sound as he did it... wtaf!! This was 20 years ago, so ofcourse nothing was said.
Pervy driving instructor. Told me to grab the hard stick whenever stopped at the traffick lights.. Reading all these makes me sick. Why do we put up with this shit..

Most of these are so depressing but entirely unsurprising.

Oh another one..about a woman actually. I was in my early 20s and went for a job interview. The job was to live on a small island for one summer and look after the small rental cottages there (clean, make beds etc). It sounded like a great adventure and i really wanted the job.
The job interview was at a residential address. I travelled about an hour to get there. Rang the doorbell, and the future boss opens the door in bra and knickers! A voluptious woman in her late 50s. She pulled me into her home and hugged me. She made me sign a contract there and then and seemed unhinged in general. I didnt dare to refuse and just agreed to everything. I never returned to her calls and spent the summer abroad.

Because we don't think anyone would listen

16, working in the local newsagent. Pulled into the back room by the 35 year old owner (married) and asked what my favorite book was (the rats at the time) and if I liked the sex scenes in it, did I want to reenact them. I had no clue how to answer!

then I moved away to London, at 17 living in a bedsit (old Edwardian house, with about 6 other bed sitters, owner lived downstairs). I had a downstairs room, one day one of the blokes from upstairs who I barely knew knocked on my door and asked me if I fancied having sex. He must have been mid 30s.
as for wildly inappropriate things I’ve chosen to do, had sex in the basement at work with my then boyfriend - and a few times in public places.. but that’s about it!

Its all really depressing how many women have had to go through this crap. I have so many examples from my own past no wonder I am never really comfortable around men.

When I was around 18 I went to buy a car from a second hand shop and the manager there (late 40s / 50s) said he had just the car for me but it was somewhere else in the country and I would have to come on the drive with him to pick it up.

Naively I said yes and after about an hour of driving he suddenly said the car wasn’t available any more, he turned and looked at me and said ‘I just can’t do it, I thought I could do it and I can’t’. He pulled over on the hard shoulder, started throwing up then made me drive the rest of the way back home.

To this day I think he had intentions to kill me or do something really awful but changed his mind at the last moment.

And thank you 🙏🏻 thank you for this post. Not shared with anyone before but partner so it’s empowering to know these experiences were just ass hole men and not our fault (as I have felt for many years with having the experience mentioned and also the older boyfriends, married men etc taking advantage). So many of us have been through so many awful things - and this thread has finally made me feel so not alone for the first time ever really. Thank you a million times over.

When I was 16 and on the train back from night school, a man sitting across from me wanked off while staring at me.

When I was 18 and making out on the beach with a guy I had met, an older man wanked off to us with his cock in one hand and his bike in the other, totally brazenly.

Once I was followed on the Tube by a really creepy man who stared at me and kept getting onto the same carriages as me, even once I had clocked him and started carriage and line hopping to try and lose him.

I am late 50's and when I was a 15yr old, our male PE teacher, took me for snogs, under a staircase in school hours, on more than one occasion !!!

It’s insidious, those little comments: Nice tits luv, Come . ‘Ere luv, sit on this, the little touch up as you’re getting off the train, the bloke standing Really close to you on the bus.
The bloke standing in front of you with his groin almost in your face as you’re seated, he could easily stand facing the aisle but he stands facing you because he can, because he knows you’re intimidated and don’t want to draw attention, he’s just a bloke on a bus with his knob in your face. If it was another man seated where you are he wouldn’t do it. It’s the hand up the skirt as you’re waiting for the bus; the bloke, teen, schoolboy twanging your bra strap, grabbing your boobs.
A man seeing a blonde woman (me) Driving a two seater sports car seems to affront their masculinity, eyeing me up at traffic lights, engine revving , edging forward, then BOOM, as soon as the lights change they cut me up itching to get ahead and sit there, one car ahead of me. I hang back, my car has the power to get me out of trouble so I let them think they’ve got one over on me until a nice clear stretch of road comes into view and then I release the horses under the bonnet, overtake and leave them behind. By the time they’ve found fifth gear I’m gone.

I don't think a thread has affected me so much since the lady fostering the newborn going through drug withdrawal.

This thread is heart wrenching, at points I've been in tears reading. It's equally such an important thread that has given myself and so many others validation that we weren't the ones in the wrong.

I hope to god this stays out of the tabloid rats hands, that would actually be tragic.

Please MNHQ, let this thread stay as a memorial to all the suffering that women go through. So many, many women and girls being predated by men who care for nothing but their own sexual satisfaction. Big hugs to you all, I hope your lives have been better since

You're so very welcome x
I'd didn't turn out as I had intended it to...but I'm actually really proud.
Proud of the women that are telling their story for the first time, proud of the mums that can use these stories to help educate their daughters, and beyond proud of all of us, abuse survivors x

Like everyone else on here, numerous gropes, catcalls ect. I was flashed while in school uniform at 3 30 in the afternoon when i was 10. Still get harrassed and dick pics on SM pretty much every day. Im 50 ffs!

When I was 8 my dad used to take me into town on a Saturday. One day we walked away from the town centre, down a dark side street. We stopped outside a building and my dad told me to wait there and went inside. He was in there for ages, at least 45 mins. I remember thinking the building was odd, it was whitewashed with no windows and only men were coming in and out. I saw a sign saying " adult books" but just assumed that meant it was only for adults.

We went there at least another 4 times( me standing outside for often 1 hr at a time) until one day a policeman walked up to me and asked him what I was doing. I told him I was waiting for my dad, and he went into the shop and got him. I saw the policeman telling my dad off( I had no idea why) and then dad came and dragged me away, shouting I had got him into trouble and I was a horrible person. He told me he would be nice and not tell my mum as she would give me a good hiding( she often did- i was terrified of her)but he was very angry with me getting him into so much trouble, and didnt speak to me for 2 weeks, even when I cried and begged forgiveness.

When I was an adult I was reading up about some local history and came across a news article about that shop. It was a sex shop/brothel and was also selling illegal porn. It was raided and shut down by police not long after I had been there. To this day I still cannot get over what kind of " man" lets his 8 year old daughter stand outside a place like that for hours at a time. Anything could have happened to me, but what did happen was finding out my dad cared more about getting his rocks off than his own daughters safety.

Hes dead now and I refused to speak at his funeral, he was a horrible, selfish alcoholic who never worked a day in his life. Im also NC with violent narc mum who still thinks the sun shines out of his arse.

Haha as a child of the 70s I have an unreal amount of inappropriate incidents but one of the worst was going to a GP I'd never been to before in 1995. A black woman came out of the appointment before me and when I went in the GP happily discussed her appointment with me, then said "they breed like rabbits you know 😱".

He also asked me about my contraception and when I told him, he said he'd have to give me a cervical exam the "next time you're here". I did not return, despite losing a beautiful green velvet hat in the waiting room.

6 years later I was working with a young woman who lived in the same area as the horrific GP. One day she came in late to work having been at a medical appointment and said "fuck I've just been to the weirdest doctor in my life". Yep, same one.

Oh my god that's terrifying and he didn't even touch you.

When I was 18 and at Glastonbury for the first time with my sister, I ended up sharing a tent with my sister and her husband because my tent got swept away in the mud. They had a year-old baby (with a sitter, obviously not at Glastonbury). My sister was drunk and fell asleep quickly, but I soon found that I had less and less room in the tent because my brother-in-law was nudging closer and closer. I got more and more uncomfortable until finally I felt his hand slide under my top and up my chest, and he pulled me towards him tightly. I froze. I was only 18 and totally naive. I just had no tools in my toolbox to deal with that kind of situation because nobody had ever taught me that a) it could happen and b) what to do if it did. I froze completely until I kicked his hand away. But I did nothing else, and for years I felt completely sick that I had not done more, that I had somehow let my sister down because I did not shut it down sooner, because I did not tell her. I rationalized it by thinking, oh, he was just drunk. He apologised in the morning. For years I thought all of this was my fault. I am so glad that social media and fiction have taught young girls a little more now what men are like and what not to accept.

Once went to a doctor about a cyst-like lump on my labia. He inspected it and told me to get dressed. After telling me what it was, he stood really weirdly close to me, so that I had to step back. Then he, incredibly, bent down and tied my shoelace! The same doctor was treating my husband for a newly diagnosed chronic illness, and he then proceeded to tell me that I was "still young" and that I "still had time" to find somebody else!