My sister is in her early 30s. She had a child at a relatively young age (25) and subsequently went back to university and did a degree and masters. She worked part time to fund the degree and masters. She split up from her DC’s father but he gives her the required amount of child support.
This whole time, she has lived rent free with my parents.
A couple of years ago she met someone else and they are engaged. Between them they earn 6 figures. Maybe £120k ish.
He has also moved in with my parents. They often go to his parents when her child spends the weekend with said child’s dad.
They continue to live rent free. They don’t contribute to bills, they have their meals cooked daily. All washing gets done for my sister and her DC. My parents also do drop off and pick up for their grandchild every day.
My sister tells me they’re saving up to buy a house but they live in an extremely expensive city and housing stock is low. They’re also very picky about the areas in which they’re willing to buy. They don’t want to rent as it’s “a waste of money”, believing that renting won’t allow them to save to buy something as quickly than as if they live with my parents.
This whole situation enrages my other sibling and me. My parents aren’t old but they should be out enjoying life and travelling the world; instead they’re doing the majority of my sister’s childcare and spending their pension on bills for 5 people. They’re fairly affluent but it all adds up.
Meanwhile my sister is saving a huge deposit to buy a place “at some point” but also spends plenty on nice holidays, brand new iPhone, £20k engagement ring (incidentally, this caused their home insurance premiums to rise. Guess who doesn’t contribute to their insurance premiums, or indeed their health insurance premiums) etc etc.
On the other hand, my other sibling works for the NHS, lives in an even more expensive city than the rest of my family and rents a one bedroom flat with her partner. They’d love to be able to save to buy something and work all sorts of extra shifts to try and out something aside but it’s not realistic given their outgoings and low income.
If it were up to me! my sister should move out with her child and fiancé into a rented property and continue to save albeit more slowly slowly and sacrifice a few of the luxuries. She should also put her child in wraparound care. My parents are then free to live their lives, helping out occasionally but their own terms.
Here’s my AIBU. My parents don’t seem to object to the status quo. It’s more that my other sibling and me are annoyed on their behalf. So AIBU to say something to my sister? Or my parents? Or should I mind my own business and butt out since none of the people involved seem to be unhappy with the situation.