If your partner was arranging to meet an ex for sex

[Changerofthename1]

That’s probably never in 1 million years going to happen due to so much water under the Bridge but that’s not the point he’s asking and he’s trying to arrange it.

Would you really want to know ?

That’s probably never in 1 million years going to happen due to so much water under the Bridge

Out of interest - why do you say "probably"? There isn't a serious possibility of you saying yes to this tosser is there? If so, give your head a wobble.

why should her children grow up in a happy home with their father when my kids have been cut off completely

All children deserve to grow up in a happy home. In fact, if they have a cow for a mother and a sleazebag for a father then these children especially deserve your kindness.

I would tell him that one day he will grow to regret not putting his children before his dick. Then block him and stay out of it.

To be utterly, utterly blunt the woman isn’t very bright I could download the WhatsApp conversation and send the screenshots but I don’t know if that would convince her it was factual. And I suppose that’s the danger again that it backfires and I’m accused to being a nutter.

And yet my children weren’t afforded that privilege, nobody thought of them. 😐

I'd still tell her. He sounds vile.
So what if she thinks you're a nutter and decides not to believe the screenshots of messages in front of her face.
You've nothing to lose. At least you tried.

the way he speaks about her is absolutely horrendous if as a wife you read it it would break your heart. He wants he to watch us and to humiliate her etc

Seriously though, do not even consider taking him up on his delightful offer. Hes done enough damage to your dc by the sounds of it.

I think both you, her and all the dc are better off without him in any of your lives.

Being motivated by spite/malice/revenge is never a good thing to do. No good can come of acting this way.

probably never going to happen? Give me strength.

They wouldn't be a partner for much longer🙄

But why does that mean you need to perpetuate the cycle of all the adults in children's lives being crap to them?

I understand you're hurt but wishing unhappiness on some innocent children as some sort of payback for your own children's difficulties is unpleasant, to say the least.

@QueSyrahSyrah you missed the update further on then where I said that was a figure of speech.

@takealettermsjones And that is the dilemma I mean I literally don’t give a fuck about her or him but the children haven’t done anything wrong have they but then equally as I say nobody gave my children a second thought so why should I care about hers ?

I was with you until you said it was a tricky situation as your children weren't considered or afforded the same privilege.
sooo.. it was shit for your kids and so you have no issue at all making it shit for other kids?
right..
But yes I'd want to know - but I'd appreciate some compassion as well.

And I’m certainly not wishing anything on them the end of the day if their father wasn’t doing what he was doing I’d be in no position to break up their home would I ? I haven’t instigated any of this and it will be very clear from reading the messages who has.

nobody gave my children a second thought so why should I care about hers?

er because they’re kids and you’d have to be a massive cunt to try and ruin their lives?

I wouldn't tell her simply because it could make things awkward for the kids. Equally, if it were me I would want to know. I have no idea what the answer is (useless answer of the day award goes to me!).

But with respect I’m not doing anything wrong here. The massive Cunt potentially ruining their lives is their father.

Because you're not him? If you're a better person than him then show it.

This tit for tat attitude only hurts some innocent children. If he's as much of a shit as he seems then he will probably mess it up himself anyway without your help. But personally, I'd want to give the children a chance at a few more years before the shit hits the fan.

'Probably' is more of a Freudian slip than a figure of speech.

The fact that a picture of him in his underwear didn't gross you out if telling.

I would say that so far in life it sounds like you've been able to take the moral high ground, rear your kids with clear conscience and maintain your dignity in the process despite having been hurt so fair play to you. If you cheat with him/ tell her out of pure spite then I think you lose that for yourself a little bit, at least that's how I personally would feel- others might feel a different way and not care about that. I think karma always comes back to bite and his behaviour is karma enough and its right that he is held accountable for being an ass. If he did cheat on you with her, you don't need to be involved in the process, he's just showing his true colours once again. I'd send her the screenshots and be very brief and factual about it- "I've no intention of following this up but if it were me I'd want to know this was happening so I'm telling you from a place of respect. Its up to you what you do with it but i don't want to be involved further. I've blocked him on everything so he can't send me anything further" Then leave it at that. She's likely to have a strong initial reaction and might get defensive/accusatory but just hold firm and say you felt she should know but don't want to be involved further and you did your part in blocking him because he wasbeing inappropriate. It's up to her what she does next. He's the one with the kids that he should be more considerate of - the buck ultimately stops with him. And realistically, if it goes nowhere with you its unlikely he won't eventually find someone else if that's the type of him.

Tell her OP then block them all. Move on. The best best revenge is letting them see how happy you and the children are. You will meet someone else and you’ll never look back at the shitshow he created. I would tell her just to have the last laugh 😁

You said she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer; he'll just convince her you've somehow faked the communications.

You would expect it to have bitten them both on the arse by now wouldn’t you and you’re right I have got the moral high ground just doesn’t seem to be doing me a fat lot of good ya know.

Yeah he’s done that before

But you're no longer the one being cheated on/attempted to be cheated on

You're not the one whose partner and child's father is trying to cheat but also in a derogatory, degrading way to you.

You're not the one in a farce of a partnership and family.

So you're are benefitting from having gotten rid of him.

Sorry press return too quickly and yes he has convinced her before that I’ve been making it all up but I figured that she was pregnant with number two and had a one-year-old at the time so she was probably a lot easier to convince her what she wanted to hear plus is becoming something of a pattern now.

I mean once can be a coincidence, twice is getting a bit ridiculous