He will clean me out won't he....

[triangularprisms]

I hope to divorce soon.Husband had an affair and left us three years ago.Kids with me 90 percent of time.He pays my half of mortgage plus 30 pounds per week maintenance for three kids.He agreed to pay extras eg education,driving lessons, therapies for SN kids.He hasn't.He either got fired or made redundant from his last job.He has now set up his own business and regularly has wads of 50's and 100's in his wallet, he shows kids. He does a lot of cash jobs eg building/plumbing etc. My eldest child asked him to contribute towards a car that she is saving for.He refused otelling her that as he is paying the full mortgage for 'me', maintenance and renting his own place at a cost of 350 pounds per month, that he lives from hand to mouth from month to month.The same man wears designer clobber and has had 4 foreign holidays in the last year . I earn 60,000 per year and it is not enough to raise my children .Granted, I have a car loan,a personal loan and a long distance commute and cover all christmas/birthday /education expenses. His contribution value is worth 500 per month as we have a very small mortgage. I have paid massively into a pension all my working life.He doesnt have one. Iam also a part owner of an inherited property..a fifth is mine... Will he be entitled to this too.. I have an awful feeling that despite him not seeing kids, paying such a miniscule amount relative to their outgoings and very probably hiding money, that I am going to lose out badly and I cannot afford to as I need to educate my kids in the future.The whole system seems so unfair.

I worked for the tax agency of another country. If someone makes a false accusation without any evidence, they could be letting themselves in for a very serious punishment in the courts. Should this website really be letting this advice stand? People should take legal advice from an expert, not the advice of "someone on Mumsnet". The post alone is incitement to possibly commit an offence and, ultimately, it is the website which is broadcasting it.

Definite wind up! Someone on 60k considering leaving their job and living off benefits. Nah. Bullshit.

I agree.

Sounds like someone from the daily fail who’s trying to get a bun fight going over how easy it is to be on benefits.

£60k and no housing costs... And another £30 a week per child, so that’s another £360 a month. So, so unfair.

@CarefreeMe

Perhaps, yet 45% of Mumsnet users think she’s being reasonable. Really says a lot about the entitlement of some people.

The whole system seems so unfair.

Is it also unfair when the wife is legally entitled to clean out the husband just because they were married?

I think all laws giving one spouse rights to the other's money are unfair. When two people get divorced they should each be entitled to exactly the amount of money they put in. And if the SAHP wants money for their domestic work, they should also have to pay rent etc.

To be fair the question in the title has probably confused the whole YABU/YANBU debate.

You’re in Ireland? You had loads of info on your last post about how to limit the costs of your DC’s therapies. Why have you posted again?

@ZaSar He had 4 foreign holidays in a year, unless someone else paid that suggests that he's not short of a bob.

Granted he may be an irresponsible AH with money, but that just suggests more strongly to me that what he does earn should be saved for the kids rather than spaffed away.

I think asking how people on benefits spend @triangularprisms is a problem when you have £60,000 income, a very small mortgage and pay lots of extra into a pension. You really need to see a solicitor so that a financial split can be agreed upon. The assets will be correctly totalled up including pensions, savings and property and the a fair split will be sorted between each parties solicitors. What people on benefits without your income and assets do is an irrelevant question since they are not in your postition!

£60k a year and you’re struggling?!

@jennakong

But he does pay child support. What money should be saved for the kids exactly? They already live in the house he pays the mortgage for.

Also a lot of twats have overseas holidays for a few days here or there that really aren’t all that expensive. It wouldn’t surprise me from the sounds of it if he was that type.

If OP is in the UK it’s not an issue and can be done anonymously - www.gov.uk/report-tax-fraud

No it clearly stated he pays half the mortgage but has told the daughter he pays the full mortgage, so maybe check and reread before making yourself appear so silly!!!

God how awful. I would never get married for this reason. Sorry the bastard is going to get your money OP. Get the best lawyer you can afford.

@ZaSar I just think OP might be on dogdy ground if ex is paying the mortgage on the house she lives in. She's got a large income and it's a small mortgage, so why can't she pay it herself?

Yes, she is right – he will take the lion's share of any equity from it – she hasn't made any contribution since he left!

She does need legal advice; I think he is playing the long game here which will be to her eventual detriment.

She needs to ask for more child support to make up the shortfall, and also speak to CMS about the possibility of concealed income.

Know there might be limited sympathy because of her income, but ex husband sounds calculating, and he will end up the winner here.

This is either a troll or a new mn user. No one who has been on here a while would say they earn £60k and are struggling.

@MoaningMaude

Second line in the OP

He pays my half of mortgage plus 30 pounds per week maintenance for three kids.

Which her ex is paying

Actually, it is. If the OP reports someone and there is anything not watertight about the report, a good lawyer for the person reported can cause a GREAT deal of trouble. How is it anonymous when the OP has posted so much information on here?

You've read it wrong he pays it all. His half plus her half for her.

OP YABVU.

I earn 60k and I’ve also lived off benefits, no comparison

Sorry, just realised he pays half.
but TBF, £60k is well above average household income, and his £250 / month plus £120 per month child maintenance = £4440 on top of the £60k. That equates to maybe £4K a month net for her.

I've got a £100 note here if anyone wants to buy it. I'll give it to you for £70. PM me.

They probably think she is reasonable expecting the father to contribute to his kids