He will clean me out won't he....

[triangularprisms]

I hope to divorce soon.Husband had an affair and left us three years ago.Kids with me 90 percent of time.He pays my half of mortgage plus 30 pounds per week maintenance for three kids.He agreed to pay extras eg education,driving lessons, therapies for SN kids.He hasn't.He either got fired or made redundant from his last job.He has now set up his own business and regularly has wads of 50's and 100's in his wallet, he shows kids. He does a lot of cash jobs eg building/plumbing etc. My eldest child asked him to contribute towards a car that she is saving for.He refused otelling her that as he is paying the full mortgage for 'me', maintenance and renting his own place at a cost of 350 pounds per month, that he lives from hand to mouth from month to month.The same man wears designer clobber and has had 4 foreign holidays in the last year . I earn 60,000 per year and it is not enough to raise my children .Granted, I have a car loan,a personal loan and a long distance commute and cover all christmas/birthday /education expenses. His contribution value is worth 500 per month as we have a very small mortgage. I have paid massively into a pension all my working life.He doesnt have one. Iam also a part owner of an inherited property..a fifth is mine... Will he be entitled to this too.. I have an awful feeling that despite him not seeing kids, paying such a miniscule amount relative to their outgoings and very probably hiding money, that I am going to lose out badly and I cannot afford to as I need to educate my kids in the future.The whole system seems so unfair.

Not a very good effort OP. Still enough to get a few willing to fight on your behalf though 🙄

@Quincythequince

He pays “her half” of the mortgage. So he is paying the whole mortgage and she is paying zero of it

Why do you think it’s fair that he pays for your mortgage and you get to keep the property (despite earning 60k) yet that he should not be entitled to anything you have earned pension wise?

”The whole system is (not) so unfair” simply because it doesn’t solely exist to benefit you by taking from him.

Gosh, missed that! Thanks.
£60k and no housing costs...
Don't think OP will be back

I just don't see how you can be struggling. I raise three children alone on £16K a year and pay rent from that, and you have four times as much, no housing costs plus maintenance?

Do you mean he is paying £30 pw between the three kids, or each? Are you using CMS? I think the absent parent needs to pay about £90 pw for all three if they earn c.£24000 a year, but getting fair amounts of child maintenance is notoriously difficult with the casually self employed, cash in hand brigade. If you contact them, they might have good advice about concealed income. They also work via the IR and may even be able to access his bank account. Seems intrusive but lots of men lie about this stuff.

Op have you posted about this before?

He'll be working cash in hand not declaring all income also avoiding paying tax. Report him to HMRC they will investigate.

She earns 60k, he pays “her half” of the mortgage and she can’t afford to raise her kids on that wage? I’m assuming when OP mentions her children’s future education she was intending to go private which won’t be a possibility now.
Honestly it sounds like you will have to adjust your lifestyle and change your expectations, you still earn a lot more than a large majority of the population and as someone who has had to try and survive on benefits with children I can honestly say I’d happily choose to “struggle” on 60k than go back to that phase of my life!.

Thread is identical to one in the last few days
Can't find it but it's the same ... can't budget on £60,000 and no mortgage costs

Definite wind up! Someone on 60k considering leaving their job and living off benefits. Nah. Bullshit.
You must be using 20s as toilet paper if you can't afford to live on 60k without housing costs.

But yeah. If he's paying the whole mortgage while you piss away 60k a year then he's got a good chance of getting the house

Pull the other one.

@MoaningMaude It clearly states he's paying the full mortgage, perhaps you should re-read the post yourself?

He pays half the mortgage.

On a house that he will probably take half of.

Leaving her to house her kids on half the value of the house.

Read, Think, Respond is usually a good order to do things in.

Report him to HMRC

Read, Think, Respond is usually a good order to do things in

Isn't it just.

Op said:

He pays my half of mortgage plus 30 pounds per week maintenance for three kids

The husband is paying all the mortgage. Whatever happens in the future, for now she has no housing costs.

@SuperCamp It literally states he is paying the full mortgage! I recommend you take your own advice.

Ooops - Fair point! 😳

It is good advice after all 😂

Lost me at the benefits comment. Go and get legal advice, you can afford it.

Sounds as if he should be paying more if he's that loaded, whatever OP's income.

I take from her post that the mortgage is very small so if he is paying between £120-£360 pm child support (not very clear which it is) he is paying about between £140-£380 on the mortgage?

She says his 'contribution' (mortgage and CM) is under £500.

The OP could always save a greater contribution for her kids' deposits and uni fees, better than him spend-thrifting it on umpteen holidays and fancy clothes. He sounds like a teenager himself & it does look as if he is concealing wealth by dealing in cash all the time.

I take it she is remaining in the family home until youngest is 18 then he will insist on a sale/buy out?

She is in a ropey position re the above if he is paying the mortgage, surely she should be paying this herself and insisting on more child support?

I live off benefits at present as my daughter has complex needs, her dad is no longer involved and I've no childcare evenings and weekends. and her dad only has to pay £1 according to child maintenance service. My rent is paid and after that I have about 200 every two weeks, half of which goes to bills. I have no money for myself and all my money goes on my daughter. I am wearing shoes right now with 5 holes in one of them, because I simply don't have any money to worry about myself.

So yeah... if you think those of us 'living off benefits' have value and it's of better interest then go right on ahead.

@SuperCamp Haha, yes, good advice indeed! 😁

@jennakong

What are we basing him being loaded off? OP’s accounts of him flashing cash to impress the kids. Many builders are payed in cash sometimes, showing a dozen fifties to impress the kids certainly isn’t proof one is loaded at all.
Sounds like he has had to buy or rent a new property (as she lives in the one they used to) and still pays all the mortgage on her property.

He probably can’t afford his daughters car, OP says he had no pension and there is no good reason to think he’s loaded at all.

I think you need to read it correctly before correcting others.

HE PAYS HER HALF.