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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

5 people have raised ADHD with me

114 replies

PetitP · 08/11/2022 11:24

And I'm getting a bit fed up with it. My son is 4 (was 3 a week ago). He is incredibly active, won't stop talking, won't stop running, but will listen when I talk to him and can focus for long periods of time. 2 people at one of his hobbies, and 3 other parents have mentioned him having ADHD traits to me and it is starting to irritate me. I asked both of his nurseries what they thought and they have both said they don't see anything that makes them think ADHD and that he's just very 'busy'. He is well behaved, he's just got SO MUCH ENERGY. AIBU to think that a lot of people have no idea what ADHD actually is? And to also think it's rude to tell someone you don't know very well that their child might have ADHD? Or am I being a bit sensitive here? My brother has ADHD and really struggles with it, so I am incredibly sympathetic and know a bit about it, as of course I grew up with him. He was diagnosed as an adult. Just annoying that so many people think they have to label things as neurodiverse without realising that children are different to one another.

OP posts:

SleeplessInEngland · 05/12/2022 14:56

*retorts

LisaJool · 05/12/2022 14:58

No one here can tell you if he has ADHD or not. I'm finding of late though that so many people are declaring that they have "undiagnosed ADHD/ASD" or that their dc "possibly has it".

Ch3wylemon · 05/12/2022 14:58

Some DC will grow out of some symptoms. They may learn coping strategies, they may form neural pathways - perhaps later than their peers and they may manage their symptoms with medication and diet.

None of which means they have grown out of a condition. It means they have learned to function with it.

LimitIsUp · 05/12/2022 16:37

SleeplessInEngland · 05/12/2022 14:56

I love these threads because everyone suggests witty reorts they'd never have the guts to use in real life.

You would be surprised to hear what I am prepared to say in real life. Not everyone is a wilting violet

RedToothBrush · 05/12/2022 16:56

LisaJool · 05/12/2022 14:58

No one here can tell you if he has ADHD or not. I'm finding of late though that so many people are declaring that they have "undiagnosed ADHD/ASD" or that their dc "possibly has it".

Maybe there's true to it though

DS is getting assessed.
There is a genetic link.
Would it be crazy to suggest that either DH or I might be too, especially if either one of us has a history of problems of a particular nature?

Back in the 80s when this wasn't popular, my parents suspected it for my brother, but for a number of reasons (not least not fully trusting the limited research on drugs) didn't / couldn't persue it further.

Its certainly not out of the blue particularly that DS has been flagged by his school (rather than us flagging it with school).

LisaJool · 05/12/2022 16:59

@RedToothBrush my point was that it's something on everybody's radar now,which is maybe why multiple people are suggesting it to the OP.

RedToothBrush · 05/12/2022 17:12

LisaJool · 05/12/2022 16:59

@RedToothBrush my point was that it's something on everybody's radar now,which is maybe why multiple people are suggesting it to the OP.

Which is right.

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/12/2022 20:15

Ch3wylemon · 05/12/2022 14:58

Some DC will grow out of some symptoms. They may learn coping strategies, they may form neural pathways - perhaps later than their peers and they may manage their symptoms with medication and diet.

None of which means they have grown out of a condition. It means they have learned to function with it.

Well no because the leading experts are on record as saying that some children no longer have it. Not masking, not strategies they simply dont have it as adults. Look it up.

FunctionalSkills · 05/12/2022 20:24

Hmmm. A brief Google does suggest that that did used to be the view of some researchers, that a minority outgrew it, but other evidence suggests its merely managed.

I don't think you outgrow a brain difference - but I think the environment you're in can make a huge difference. School is often such a difficult place and you have no control, so lots of "symptoms/behaviours". Once an adult you have more control over managing your life, self regulatory behaviours etc.

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/12/2022 20:28

LimitIsUp · 04/12/2022 14:09

@Willyoujustbequiet
No, you said 'many will grow out of it' whereas my link said only 9% show no symptoms as adults. That means 91% still continue to have symptoms. I am taking issue with your 'many'

Yes many - if you consider there are approx 130 million children with ADHD even using your own conservative figure of 9% ( leading research stats are higher) then that equates to approx 12 million children who grow out of it.

12 million is many in my book.

Regardless though, as I said everyone can argue figures. My issue is not with you as you appear to acknowledge some do. Its with those who deny it at all in spite of all the academic evidence to the contrary.

1234IDeclareAPeanutWar · 05/12/2022 22:23

9% is not many when 89% don't grow out of it.

Adding millions (or trillions or more) won't give welly to your argument because the percentage stays the same.

I don't believe there's enough evidence to say that people "grow out of it."

1234IDeclareAPeanutWar · 05/12/2022 22:24

Or 91% rather.

lovelu bit of dyslexia kicked in there 😁😁

Blendandmix · 05/12/2022 22:26

My MIL said she thinks my 9 month (at the time) baby) has ADHD 🙃

user375242 · 06/12/2022 11:31

There is a some evidence that Children who were diagnosed and medicated in childhood have milder symptoms in adulthood, and no longer need medication because there brain was able to make new neural pathways while medicated. An unmedicated child with ADHD won't just grow out of it though.

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