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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think the dog is dying

116 replies

Storyofalion · 08/11/2022 10:08

My friends have gone on holiday, they asked if I could take care of their jack Russel.
He is a 15 year old male, he is so skinny:(
He is under weight by 2 kg , all ribs on show etc.
He does not want to eat the food provoded by my friends, I believe its due to his teeth hurting and the food being too hard to chew for him.
I asked my friends if I could give him different food , they approved.
The dog is being fed by me and is eating fine so far.
The issue is that he is urinatimg everywhere, he urinates every 30 minutes around the house, I have put him in the kitchen because there are tiles so easier to clean , I let him out in the garden every hour, but it does not help .
He urinates everywhere and on his bed too.
I think he is very, very unwell.
He does not look happy at all.
My friends have been informed of the issue and said he is having some issues with his bladder for the last 2 months.
I was not told this , I domt think I would have said yes in the first place considering I have a crawler at home and a toddler:(
I realy feel sorry for the dog, I feel I should take him to the vets , my friends said they do not have an insurance and wont be able to cover the costs for the treatment needed.
He is suffering, not a happy dog , just lies amd urinates around himself.
I cant afford to pay for the treatment myself.
I suspect he may have a bladder cancer.
I decided to just take him to the vets and pay by my credit card because I cant stand him suffering.
The appointment is in the evening.
I have asked my friends what if the vet will advise to put him down, they said they are ok with it but cant afford to cover the fees !
I am ready to cover the fees myself but I dont know how much its going to be and I am so angry and stressed about this whole thing, the poor dog :((((
AIBU to cover the fees for the vets to end his suffering ?

I know my friends will no longer be my friends .cruel

OP posts:
DarkKarmaIlama · 08/11/2022 10:11

He might be stressed his owners have gone. We can’t leave our elderly dog now because she would do the same despite toileting/eating okay when we are at home. Infact she did do the same for a few days but it was my dad who was popping in and he knows what shes like so knew she was acting out of character. We obviously don’t leave her anymore it was a bit naughty of your friends to put this onto you. Poor dog.

Imisscoffee2021 · 08/11/2022 10:12

You're doing the right thing by that poor dog, and your friends should never have had a dog if they can't afford to give it the medical care it needs - especially in its elderly years. Its teeth should have been looked at years ago snd never allowed to get in a state, they may be poisoning the poor thing. Be prepared for the vet to put him to sleep, and know you did the right thing. I don't know how your friends could look at the dog every day and not do anything about it, there's no way his symptoms would have just started.

Original poster
Storyofalion · 08/11/2022 10:12

@DarkKarmaIlama he apparently is having issues for the last 2 months, he is very very skinny too, so I suspect he is not eating much

OP posts:
KatMcBundleFace · 08/11/2022 10:13

Wow. I'm glad you are caring for the poor dog. Your friends sound utterly selfish

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/11/2022 10:14

They found the money for the holiday, didn't they? Bastards.

ScroogeMcDuckling · 08/11/2022 10:15

One of the dog charities maybe able to help/advise what is wrong (the PDSA or the RSPCA) is there a local one to you

Seaweedandsalt · 08/11/2022 10:17

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all in having the dog pts. If it is suffering - and I'm sure you would be able to tell then it should be put out of its misery. I feel very angry on behalf of the dog against its rubbish owners who are irresponsible in the extreme. It's truly diabolical that they have not had this dog treated before it has reached the stage you have found it in, there is no excuse, that is what the PDSA is for, to help people who are genuinely hard up and have pets that need treatment.

If they can afford to go on holiday they can afford to get their dog treated or pay for the pts themselves.

You are a good person, thank you for looking after this little dog and ensuring he has a peaceful and dignified end to his life as there is nothing but a painful and undignified existence for him at present.

bottomsup22 · 08/11/2022 10:17

They sound like they couldn't give a single shit about the dog so I think you're going to have to do the right thing by it. There are charities who may be able to help. Very sorry you're in this position, how horribly unfair for you. They wouldn't be friends of mine any longer.

Alexandernevermind · 08/11/2022 10:19

He is more than likely missing his owners, dogs can stop eating and have stress wees when they are separated from owners. He needs to go where he feels safe, you need to contact the owners and tell them you can no longer look after him, and that they need to make arrangements with their parents, come home or get him back to his own home and arrange pet sitters. Dont have him euthanised, a vet wouldn't do it without owners permission, but it isn't your decision to make.

TheChosenTwo · 08/11/2022 10:19

Bloody hell the poor dog, thank god it’s got you looking out for it.
interesting point made by a pp that it might be out of sorts because it’s missing its family but it also sounds like there are much longer term problems if your friends have acknowledged that he’s been deteriorating for a couple of months.
They’re disgusting for not having him checked out sooner, then dumping him on you without mentioning it and swanning off on their holidays knowing they don’t have any spare money to have him looked after properly or pay vet bills. Atrocious behaviour.

ProFannyTea · 08/11/2022 10:21

Storyofalion · 08/11/2022 10:12

@DarkKarmaIlama he apparently is having issues for the last 2 months, he is very very skinny too, so I suspect he is not eating much

He's elderly. Elderly dogs get incontinent and frail just like people. He probably is near the end of his life but it's a natural process and your friends were a bit selfish purposely not telling you he couldn't hold himself just so they could puss off on holiday and leave you to clear the mess up. Think about you're friendship.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 08/11/2022 10:21

@Eyesopenwideawake · Today 10:14
They found the money for the holiday, didn't they? Bastards.

I'll second that with knobs on. Fucking mean selfish bastards. I think you should report them for animal cruelty

FOJN · 08/11/2022 10:21

They can afford a holiday but no money to pay for the care of their pet? Your friends are not good people.

Will the vet let you make the decision to PTS if you are not the owner?

Choconut · 08/11/2022 10:21

Poor thing, if he's got bad teeth he could be in a lot of pain and it could affect or have already affected his heart and liver. Your friends should not have animals if they can't/won't look after them.
I think putting him to sleep is likely to be the kindest thing as he sounds very unhappy. Anything else is likely to be very expensive - sorting out teeth is generally pricey IME and he is pretty old and underweight by the sounds of it so may not be worth putting him through it if he needs a lot of procedures - not to mention friends obviously won't pay.
Definitely end of the road for this friendship, what horrible people to leave this poor dog for you to deal with while they swan off on holiday.

nannybeach · 08/11/2022 10:24

You could get a urine sample, clean pot/jar sterilised with boiling water, to take to a vet. Our last dog had these symptoms,was put on a low protein diet,,itwas kidney failure, she was 17.

Blossomtoes · 08/11/2022 10:25

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/11/2022 10:14

They found the money for the holiday, didn't they? Bastards.

This. Poor, poor dog.

VollywoodHampires · 08/11/2022 10:26

So your friends have gone on holiday, but they are unwilling to pay for the veterinary care their poor dog needs. What utter shits they are.

Mentalpiece · 08/11/2022 10:27

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/11/2022 10:14

They found the money for the holiday, didn't they? Bastards.

Exactly this.
Thank you for caring op. That poor dog ☹️

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 08/11/2022 10:30

The friendship is over. Take him to a vet. Be honest. They can ring the owner. Legally they are the owner and surely obliged to pay the bill? Vet could give treatment and take them to court. The vet may also report them. Denying a pet veterinary care is a crime.

Sapphiretrueblue · 08/11/2022 10:31

Can't quite believe your friends have said they would agree to put this lovely dog to sleep if necessary and aren't rushing back from holiday. Firstly, you absolutely shouldn't be shouldering this responsibility and secondly, if my (imaginary) dog was clearly unwell I wouldn't be able to enjoy my holiday. Some people shouldn't have pets. This is so unfair on you - and the dog.

TigerTinsel · 08/11/2022 10:34

I'd consider the friendship over already. They left you with an incontinent dog (withheld that detail) and are denying veterinary care to a suffering pet (animal cruelty) and do not care (horrid people).

LetYouGo · 08/11/2022 10:43

What cunts. They have money to go on holiday but not for their dog. They didn’t even bother to make sure the dog had suitable food so it is starving.

Please have the dog put to sleep. You shouldn’t be having to deal with this but please do it for the dog. I’d tell these ‘friends’ exactly what I thought of their animal abuse and never talk to them again.

I really feel for you. 💐

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 08/11/2022 10:46

LetYouGo · 08/11/2022 10:43

What cunts. They have money to go on holiday but not for their dog. They didn’t even bother to make sure the dog had suitable food so it is starving.

Please have the dog put to sleep. You shouldn’t be having to deal with this but please do it for the dog. I’d tell these ‘friends’ exactly what I thought of their animal abuse and never talk to them again.

I really feel for you. 💐

I agree, 100%. Those bastards went off on holiday, knowing that their dog is ill and thin, and they've chosen to spend their money on going away, rather than take the poor dog to the vet. Despicable people.

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 08/11/2022 10:47

Make sure you explain the circumstances to the vet so they know it’s not your dog. Following a different thread, make sure you ask the price of any treatment BEFORE you agree to it.

Suzi888 · 08/11/2022 10:52

Ring the PDSA and see if you are able to secure free treatment, if you claim benefit.

Poor bloody dog and poor you.

They’ve shafted you. I would ring their vet, explain you have the dog in your care and see if the vet will charge their account and bill them.

Your friends are scum.